"Drip"

[nipper]

Drip, another moment lost.
Drip, one more ounce of life lost.
Drip, if my skin was whole I just might live.
Drip, I wonder if there is a god.
....., I guess its now to late to worry about that.

[Buh4Bee]

Drip, I guess it dropped.

[Il Dante]

Drip, another moment lost.
Drip, one more ounce of life lost.
Drip, if my skin was whole I just might live.
Drip, I wonder if there is a god.
....., I guess its now to late to worry about that.

Might consider changing "its" to "it is" or perhaps "it's."

I'm curious: what is it that's dripping? Line 3 suggests to me that it might be blood.

[lallison]

Wow, I was thinking that it was a kitchen sink dripping, kind of like in The Cure song "10:15 on a Saturday Night," expressing the slow passing of a meaningless life, but after reading Dante's suggestion that it was blood, I think that makes more sense as the last line conveys finality. It does seem to contrast with the first line, which gives me the feeling that there is some long, monotonous continuation which is causing the suffering.

[nipper]

Thanks for all of yalls opinons. I will try them in the next one.

[Hayseed Huck]

I feel joyful today

But why it is that poets think poetry
the best vehicle in which to muse in
the philosophical?

If you want to write about the meaning
of life, the great verities, the eternal
questions, write prose.

I don't know where I got that idea.
No one told me to have it.

It just seems proper to me.

But I am 76-years old with the body of
a 10-year old Arabian horse and I feel
rather frisky ...

be nice.

HH

[dizzydoll]

LOL. Good poem/prose, whatever. Good job.