Why do women want to be beautiful?

[blazeofglory]

Everyone has a sense of aestheticism or opts for a thing of beauty inherently; yet some have more and others have less. Women have it more innately and everyone knows it. But the thing why women want to be really gorgeous is a great curiosity to me. Mostly it is said that females want to be more attractive mainly because they want to induce or attract their male counterparts. But I think it is not always so, maybe they are narcissistic or vainglorious.

Maybe what I say could be wrong, and there might be women or specialists who know better and I am simply inquisitive to know or share ideas with all here on the forum.

[OrphanPip]

You act as if men don't spend a similar, if not more, amount of time presenting themselves in specific ways.

[Katy North]

Growing up, my mom always refused to buy me clothes that didn't match my skin-tone or made my hips or chest look too big. In high school half of my female friends were eating celery in an effort to get skinny. Plus, if you look at cosmo or any other magazine on the newsstand geared toward women you will see page after page of fashion tips, diet secrets, and make-up dos and don'ts.

I don't think it's "men" anymore that propagate the belief that women should look a certain way. Most guys I know of worth their salt would find just about any girl attractive as long as their personalities mesh. I think that role has been taken over by the media and brand names who shove their products down woman's throats by playing upon their insecurities.

I also think that women do tend to pass their insecurities on to each other... my mother and high-school friends passed on a certain amount of self-consciousness about my weight to me. I was lucky not to have been thrown into the deep end of insecurities... I have never thought about plastic surgery or have been tempted to have my eyebrows plucked. But many women have not been so lucky.

Though I will agree that men sometimes spend as much time as girls on this matter... sometimes my husband takes longer than I do to get ready to go out...

[NikolaiI]

I agree with Katy's explanation mostly. What happens are there so many insidious suggestions from the soulless mass-media... along the scale of more blatant to more subtle... it's best to avoid the mass-media television at all costs... to keep your mind your own, so you can control your mind and your thoughts easier.

You'll see commercials where a woman who is very, very attractive is complaining about some flaw in her appearance, and how it really brings her down, until she finds the "solution" product, which fixes her appearance and then, of course, she feels so much better... so on and so on... it's really insidious... it doesn't have much of an effect on most people, but on some it has more of an effect, and it perhaps is cumulative with other factors. If all those negative suggestions and messages convince one person, then that person can help convince another, and so on...

Bottom line is that the emphasis is too much on externals, superficial, and material qualities of people and life... it's nothing new... it's nothing to fear either because there's certainly an equal push toward improving the quality of life by learning... enriching ourselves... so many things... it's just one side of the struggle for our thoughts and allegiance...

[1n50mn14]

I think, BlazeofGlory, that we must define 'beautiful' first, then find out who in society gets to define the word, 'beautiful', and how they profit from it, and then you will find your answer...

[jadrianne]

,,Horns to bulls wise Nature lends;
Horses she with hoofs defends;
Hares with nimble feet relieves;
Dreadful teeth to lions gives;
Fishes learn through streams to slide;
Birds through yielding air to glide;
Men with courage she supplies;
But to women these denies.
What then gives she? Beauty, this
Both their arms and armour is:
She, that can this weapon use,
Fire and sword with ease subdues."

Beauty
by: Anacreon

[The Atheist]

Evolutionary imperative.

Women want to attract the strongest (genetically-speaking) male and the way to attract the best is to look the best.

We're still as primitive as all that.

[BienvenuJDC]

You act as if men don't spend a similar, if not more, amount of time presenting themselves in specific ways.

Typically not though...

[OrphanPip]

Typically not though...

Not trying to look pretty, but they certainly spend a good deal of time trying to appear masculine. Even that is a cultural construction, make up and careful grooming has at different times and cultures been more associated with males. The notion that women are inherently more concerned with how they appear is flawed. Men just care about their appearance in a different way. The idea that men aren't trying to appear pleasing to the opposite sex is absurd.

Edit: They even care about being pretty, from a Psychology Today survey:

"Fifty-six percent of women say they are dissatisfied with their overall appearance. Their self-disparagement is specifically directed toward their abdomens (71 percent), body weight (66 percent), hips (60 percent), and muscle tone (58 percent). Men show escalating dissatisfaction with their abdomens (63 percent), weight (52 percent), muscle tone (45 percent), overall appearance (43 percent), and chest (38 percent)."

[JuniperWoolf]

Typically not though...

Actually I could list for you here several scientific psychological experiments for your reading pleasure that imply that men are just as aware of their appearance, if not more so, than women.

Men are just as concerned with their appearace as women, and there are numbers to prove it.

/thread.

[Zee.]

there is no shame in beauty.

not only are men also.. concerned with their image, they are concerned with our image. you ask why women want to be beautiful? a big part of that is pressure to be. a lot of that pressure comes from men. besides, a lot of it has to do with attraction.

[rimbaud]

Why people want to be smart? want to be superior?
Yes women tend to spend more time on their looks than men. And we can even try to deny it but it is what it is.
Some people value intellect, some beauty and who's to say which one is better than the other?
I usually don't dress up, or put on make up, but sometimes I do, because as intellect, beauty is power, so why not use it

'We play with the toys the gods give us'

[JuniperWoolf]

Edit: They even care about being pretty, from a Psychology Today survey:

"Fifty-six percent of women say they are dissatisfied with their overall appearance. Their self-disparagement is specifically directed toward their abdomens (71 percent), body weight (66 percent), hips (60 percent), and muscle tone (58 percent). Men show escalating dissatisfaction with their abdomens (63 percent), weight (52 percent), muscle tone (45 percent), overall appearance (43 percent), and chest (38 percent)."

I'm really glad that you found that. All of the articles that I just found that imply that men are self-concious and care about their physical appearances won't let anyone see them who isn't a University of Alberta student (that, or they have to pay money). What the hell is the point in knowing stuff if you can't prove it during an internet debate?

[BienvenuJDC]

A quoted study from a Psychology magazine doesn't really prove anything. It only shows that the study revealed particular results.

[JuniperWoolf]

It only shows that the study revealed particular results.

Results of an accurately preformed scientific study, which have been duplicated by numerous other studies... otherwise known as "proof."

[BienvenuJDC]

Results of an accurately preformed scientific study, which have been duplicated by numerous other studies... otherwise known as "proof."

It seems that everything that supports your view is 100% accurate. But I'm sorry, I am skeptical. I doubt that it is an accurately preformed scientific study...but none of that really matters. Can't you allow someone to disagree with you? It is okay that other people have their own opinions based on their own knowledge. I am sure that the study's findings are accurate within the limited scope that it was preformed, but I don't believe that it reflects the broader spectrum. But I will not forbid you to believe otherwise.

[JuniperWoolf]

It seems that everything that supports your view is 100% accurate. But I'm sorry, I am skeptical.

Hi, I'm kettle. You must be pot?

If I read an article in Psychology Today that stated that no man on the face of the earth ever gave a crap about their appearance and the method checked out, then I'd believe it (but it wouldn't, because men do care about their appearance... disagree with me). Just like, for example, if I had ANY evidence that the earth is 6000 years old, I'd give that theory a glance. Since these things have absolutely no evidence AT ALL, I'm inclined to believe that they're full of crap. Sorry, I tend to go side with the theory that has actual proof to support it. You can't just believe things (things like "women care more about their appearance than men," a statement which makes more than half of the world's population seem very shallow) just because you feel like it. That's not fair because to do so is pig-headed and ignorant. It's also not fair to say that I'm being argumentative if I vocalize why it is that you're wrong.


I doubt that it is an accurately preformed scientific study...but none of that really matters.

If it's a peer-reviewed article in Psychology Today, then it's accurate. I've also read about the trend for males to obsess over their appearance in other psych classes that I've taken. There's a reason why so many commercials for razors, facial cream, body wash, cologne, etc. target men; they are just as vain as women, and they want to look good. Do you know how many men have eating disorders? A lot (http://www.caringonline.com/eatdis/topics/males.htm).


Can't you allow someone to disagree with you?

Sure. But if someone posts controversial opinions on an open internet forum, they'd better be prepared to defend their point of view.

[Katy North]

My husband cares about his appearance more that I do. He just likes being perceived a certain way when we go out together, while I'm more of the "just-make-sure-your-hair-isn't-sticking-up-and-your-shirt-doesn't-have-any-stains" variety. We also had a male roommate who worked out constantly and printed a personal "logo" on most of his t-shirts. Then there was the roommate who had a penchant for shiny or loud shirts... not to mention the countless guys I helped when I sold jewelry who wanted brand name shirts, silver chains, or a 14 carat gold cross to hang around their necks...

Bien, I'd say from personal experience that those stats listed are probably pretty accurate. And if you don't believe that it probably says something more about the people you associate with more than anything else... like my dad who has a closet full of clothes my mom has purchased for him that all match with each other because otherwise it would look like he got dressed in the dark.

Of course, the numbers of the study may be somewhat off... it could just be a telling survey of the people interested in a magazine such as "Psychology Today", or a survey taken of young college students, but I think the consensus we're working on is that many men, to some degree or other, take some care with their appearance... maybe not to look like gussied up super models, but to say something specific about their personality, their financial situation, or their masculinity.

And Juniper... take a deep breath... breathe.... breathe... breathe...

Now Group hug! :grouphug: Yay, all better!! :D

[MANICHAEAN]

Male vanity in the 50's comprised: Brylcream, a DA haircut, drainpipe trousers, brothel creeper shoes & shoe lace tie.

In the 60's it was: page boy haircuts, flared trousers, winkle picker shoes & bright kipper ties covered in flowers.

In the 70's de rigueur; hair combed forward to hide the bald bits, Levi jeans, loafer shoes & an open necked shirt to display a hairy chest.

In the 80's the mode was: shaven head, cream slacks, sensible shoes & shirts from Marks & Spencers.

By the 90's peacock displays were out. You were more interested in beer, than attracting the girls.

But looking back, bliss it was that very dawn to be alive!

[JuniperWoolf]

And Juniper... take a deep breath... breathe.... breathe... breathe...

*sigh* You're right. I was a bit too flared up yesterday, sorry guys. I'm not usually like that. I try to avoid threads that generalize women because they make me not myself, but Blaze keeps posting them and making me grumpy.

[papayahed]

And what's wrong with wanting to be beautiful? We don't go to art museums to see garbage do we?

There are always people who take things to extremes or perhaps put too much emphasis on what others think but for the most part what's wrong with wanting pretty things, or looking good? (And I'm speaking of both men and women)

[Katy North]

There are always people who take things to extremes or perhaps put too much emphasis on what others think but for the most part what's wrong with wanting pretty things, or looking good? (And I'm speaking of both men and women)

There isn't anything wrong with it... everything in moderation. However some people do spend an inordinate amount of time trying to "create" their self image, possibly at the expense of what they were born with, and I think that's what we're referring to here.

[Zee.]

"everything in moderation" ???
How can you apply that to beauty?...


It's beautiful.. or it's not, you can't really moderate it..


Also - in regards to 'creating beauty', .. i mean in reference to ones self, you can do what you like with your hair, your makeup, your clothes.. but real beauty is natural .. to me anyway


e.g a truly 'beautiful' face does not need make up to make it so.

[qimissung]

The question: "why women want to be really gorgeous"

The answer: because.

Isn't that enough? It is for me. Although Blaze of Glory, I do disagree with your statement that women who "want" to be gorgeous" are vainglorious. That is a huge assumption. If you are going to defend or agree with this statement, I think you might have the decency to present some evidence. Otherwise all you really have is an opinion. And in my opinion, most people prefer beauty.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200706/ten-politically-incorrect-truths-about-human-nature


"Physical attractiveness, while a universally positive quality, contributes even more to women's reproductive success than to men's. The generalized hypothesis would therefore predict that physically attractive parents should have more daughters than sons. Once again, this is the case. Americans who are rated "very attractive" have a 56 percent chance of having a daughter for their first child, compared with 48 percent for everyone else."

[Revolte]

Because there never was a revolution, only a movement. So women gained some rights, legally, but that does not mean they aren't viewed the same way they where hundreds of years ago.

I think the pressure on them to look "good" is incredibly strong. Where as a guy, I can look like crap and still get a decent looking girl, simply because its acceptable and even glorified for a guy to look like crap.

Most people don't enjoy being alone, and in a world where ( if your a female ) to be accepted and viewed as important you have to have a magazine body, perfect skin, silky hair, perfect teeth and just the right amount of make up ( after all, too much and your going to look like a tramp, right? *sarcasm* ) many are going to try to fit the socially ideal standard.

[The Atheist]

We don't go to art museums to see garbage do we?

Most of the time, yep; but probably not intentionally.

[Maximilianus]

To me, women are beautiful just because they are women... though they insist on making up :p and I've known guys who insist on making up too. I don't mean anything in particular, but being a man I would only make up if I were an actor on some movie, or if I were at war I'd wear some war paint on my face to scare my enemies.

[caesar]

I think women find it necessary to look good because men instinctually admire women mostly for their looks than anything else. Of course, in today's world, were traditional sex-roles (assigned by nature) has little relevance, women are admired not only for their looks, but for many other qualities like intelligence, courage etc. The way I see it, it requires reason (not instinct) to admire intelligence and courage. Since most men lose their sense of reason when it comes to women, women are required to appeal to a man’s instinct more than his reason.

[Scheherazade]

"Why do women want to be beautiful?"

Because they can. No, I don't mean because they can want to be beautiful; I mean because most they can be beautiful with a little effort.

[LitNetIsGreat]

Evolutionary imperative.

Women want to attract the strongest (genetically-speaking) male and the way to attract the best is to look the best.

We're still as primitive as all that.

You know when Mrs Neely takes an hour to get ready, putting all sorts of things on her face, from bottles of various colours and lipstick stuff, I have in the past told her that she does so from an evolutionary need to attract the opposite sex. This has not gone down well.:cuss: Furthermore, when I have merely suggested that if she is going out with me that people will naturally look at me and not her and therefore that she is wasting time with all that make-up nonsense, she has similarly not been too impressed? :cuss:

Strange things these women - you try to be helpful and they are completely ungrateful...

[Katy North]

There isn't anything wrong with it... everything in moderation.

I meant every "effort" in moderation. If you're having bouts of plastic surgery, have eating disorders because you want to loose weight, and trying to look like and become something your not, that is what I personally, define as immoderate and not necessarily a healthy way of thinking.

[The Atheist]

"Why do women want to be beautiful?"

Because they can. No, I don't mean because they can want to be beautiful; I mean because most they can be beautiful with a little effort.

You raise an interesting point here that I was discussing with Mrs Atheist last night - why do some women highlight their lack of natural beauty?

I used an example of two women we know who are unashamedly fat and ugly.

One uses a touch of makeup, does her hair neatly and wears nice clothes, as a result of which, she presents an appearance which isn't unpleasant.

The other is unkempt, dirty, never wears makeup, never cleans her teeth and is generally a pig which looks as though it has just crawled out of the primordial swamp, despite the fact that she works surrounded by tidily-presented professionals.

She sure presents a point of difference, but it seems to me that she deliberately wants to be seen as a pig.

Odd.


You know when Mrs Neely takes an hour to get ready, putting all sorts of things on her face, from bottles of various colours and lipstick stuff, I have in the past told her that she does so from an evolutionary need to attract the opposite sex. This has not gone down well.:cuss: Furthermore, when I have merely suggested that if she is going out with me that people will naturally look at me and not her and therefore that she is wasting time with all that make-up nonsense, she has similarly not been too impressed? :cuss:

Strange things these women - you try to be helpful and they are completely ungrateful...

:lol:

They're so damned illogical!

[soundofmusic]

Personally, I find makeup, girdles, wigs, and heels immensely uncomfortable.
There are two periods of my life that I wore such things: 1, of course, was when I was attempting to attract a mate 2, when I was so depressed and my life was such a mess that I needed all of this to feel good about myself.

One day, I slipped on a pair of mens flannel pants and a mans soft cotton t-shirt. For some reason, womens clothes all feel like institution wear and mens clothing is soft and feels great against the skin...I seldom wear anything else around the neighborhood.

[MarkBastable]

One day, I slipped on a pair of mens flannel pants and a mans soft cotton t-shirt. For some reason, womens clothes all feel like institution wear and mens clothing is soft and feels great against the skin...I seldom wear anything else around the neighborhood.

My friend Simon thinks quite the opposite, but he agrees with you about the crossdressing when going to the store.

[papayahed]

What? ALL women's clothes??

[soundofmusic]

Personally, I find makeup, girdles, wigs, and heels immensely uncomfortable.
There are two periods of my life that I wore such things: 1, of course, was when I was attempting to attract a mate 2, when I was so depressed and my life was such a mess that I needed all of this to feel good about myself.

One day, I slipped on a pair of mens flannel pants and a mans soft cotton t-shirt. For some reason, womens clothes all feel like institution wear and mens clothing is soft and feels great against the skin...I seldom wear anything else around the neighborhood.

It's funny, both Mr Sounds thought it was a real turn on to see me wearing their tees... a womans body lends certain demure curves to a mans fashions

Did I mention that the additional benefit of this is that now, when men are complimenting my eyes, they look at them instead of my chest:lol:


My friend Simon thinks quite the opposite, but he agrees with you about the crossdressing when going to the store.

:smilielol5: My hat is off to Simon. I often run into 6'2" fellows at the VA in their stilletos, wigs and stockings. I can't imagine what it must be like to wake up 2 hours early to shave everything and place makeup over that deep stubble...
Please tell me Simon has kept at least one token of his original identity:ihih:

[Maximilianus]

Personally, I find makeup, girdles, wigs, and heels immensely uncomfortable.
There are two periods of my life that I wore such things: 1, of course, was when I was attempting to attract a mate 2, when I was so depressed and my life was such a mess that I needed all of this to feel good about myself.

One day, I slipped on a pair of mens flannel pants and a mans soft cotton t-shirt. For some reason, womens clothes all feel like institution wear and mens clothing is soft and feels great against the skin...I seldom wear anything else around the neighborhood.
:nod: :D


It's funny, both Mr Sounds thought it was a real turn on to see me wearing their tees... a womans body lends certain demure curves to a mans fashions

Did I mention that the additional benefit of this is that now, when men are complimenting my eyes, they look at them instead of my chest:lol:
:lol: :smilielol5: http://smiles.kolobok.us/artists/just_cuz/JC_goodpost.gif

[MarkBastable]

Did I mention that the additional benefit of this is that now, when men are complimenting my eyes, they look at them instead of my chest:lol:


Where do they look when they're complimenting your chest?

[soundofmusic]

:nod: :D


:lol: :smilielol5: http://smiles.kolobok.us/artists/just_cuz/JC_goodpost.gif

Thank you for the appreciation.

Where do they look when they're complimenting your chest?

Yes, unfortunately I still run into the frequent awe-struck, Viagra using, 50+ male that starts a conversation with, "Wow, what are you...like a 40"...

Which is why I often prefer the glitter-eyed, just-passed legal, smiles of younger men whose eyes say, "Now I could deal with that"; but they are intelligent enough to say, "I like the color of that top"

[Scheherazade]

Yes, unfortunately I still run into the frequent awe-struck, Viagra using, 50+ male that starts a conversation with, "Wow, what are you...like a 40"...

Which is why I often prefer the glitter-eyed, just-passed legal, smiles of younger men whose eyes say, "Now I could deal with that"; but they are intelligent enough to say, "I like the color of that top"SOM,

You really do have a way with words. Do you write?

[LitNetIsGreat]

Really, what the hell is all that about? Fake, tan? Fake, tan? What's wrong with going outside? Isn't that fashionable or something? Of all the beauty products in the world this has to be the most stupid. :rant:

[MarkBastable]

Yes, unfortunately I still run into the frequent awe-struck, Viagra using, 50+ male that starts a conversation with, "Wow, what are you...like a 40"

How can you tell they use Viagra? And is awe-struck a Bowdlerisation? And what is it that happens when men pass fifty that causes them to be so boorish? And do men of that age really say 'Wow'? And what are you - like, a forty?

[hoope]

I personally don't believe in al this whether its plastic surgeries
It al depends on the people's perception to what phyical beauty is ....
Most of teh girls do it do attract men - and that is normal .. but it's normal when it exceeds and goes beyond that...Actually sometimes men r behind it ( they drive girls crazy hehehehe :D)
I know a girl whom her husband tell her " i want you be just like how i married you , slim & sexy " whatevaaaaa -she's planning to do a gastric bypass surgery !!!!!!
though she aint that overwight .. she is hardly 75 kg ... and is having two kids .. and so beautiful.. the doctor refused to do the surgery coz she aint that fat hehehehe !!!!!

This is how people think.. Seeking beauty sometimes not for themselves but for others..
I believe one should accept herself as she is .. and people will like her that way more !

[The Comedian]

I'm surprised no one has mentioned this before but female beauty is powerful stuff. It's a hell of a lot more powerful than male beauty -- at least in the US it is. A beautiful woman commands an astounding amount of authority and attention from both men and women alike. And other women, like men, want power.

So to blaze's question, I think one of the reasons why females try to be beautiful is because of the power, attention, and influence it brings them. I mean there's a reason that the female form is the most exploited image in our society. . . . there is nothing more powerful in terms of influencing people's decision making.

Except beer. But you can't just look at beer and have it affect you. Right?. . . . .Right?

http://blog.timesunion.com/saratogaseen/files/2008/04/beer.jpg

[LitNetIsGreat]

Ahhhh beeeerrrrrr... :drool5:

Another thing that makes women beautiful too.

[soundofmusic]

SOM,

You really do have a way with words. Do you write?
Thank you, Scher, so far, I just write letters...

Really, what the hell is all that about? Fake, tan? Fake, tan? What's wrong with going outside? Isn't that fashionable or something? Of all the beauty products in the world this has to be the most stupid. :rant:
Do you remember that orange stuff we had in the 1970's; it was for skin that burns, peels and becomes pasty again.

How can you tell they use Viagra? And is awe-struck a Bowdlerisation? And what is it that happens when men pass fifty that causes them to be so boorish? And do men of that age really say 'Wow'? And what are you - like, a forty?
I thought I invented the word awestruck for this occasion...NO:frown2:
The fellows that say Wow, also say Gee...when they are not using somthing more colorful. They watch reruns on tvland and inform me, right after asking my chest size, that they have their Viagra at the ready:party:
The 50+ boorish men I meet spent their youth racking up points for virilism; and failed to cash it in for something more lasting.

[Maryd.]

One can be as stunning as one wants, but if one's heart is evil then they are ugly to me.

[Maximilianus]

Thank you, Scher, so far, I just write letters...
Scher is right, soundos. You are an amazing sketcher of ideas, somewhere between http://smiles.kolobok.us/artists/just_cuz/JC_handshake.gif and http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/yahoo.gif, capable of writing much more than letters http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/yes4.gif


One can be as stunning as one wants, but if one's heart is evil then they are ugly to me.
Perfectly said, Mary. Ugly is as ugly does http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/yes3.gif

[The Walker]

http://blog.timesunion.com/saratogaseen/files/2008/04/beer.jpg

Well if you pay attention that beer has the shame of a female body :P

[MarkBastable]

One can be as stunning as one wants, but if one's heart is evil then they are ugly to me.

You're not a guy, are you?

[soundofmusic]

Scher is right, soundos. You are an amazing sketcher of ideas, somewhere between http://smiles.kolobok.us/artists/just_cuz/JC_handshake.gif and http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/yahoo.gif, capable of writing much more than letters http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/yes4.gif


Perfectly said, Mary. Ugly is as ugly does http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/yes3.gif
Thank you, Max. With all this encouragement from people who are "in the know"; I may try my hand at it sometime.
I guess Mary's point is much like the concept Oscar Wilde was putting across with Dorian Gray. I'm afraid I am not so intutitive to know evil when I see it. It has to wear a big sign for me; otherwise, I think it is just horribly misunderstood and I get the urge to "rescue it". :conehead:

Well if you pay attention that beer has the shame of a female body :P
Funny, I was just thinking it looked like a man... Muscular chest, small waist and hips...:goof:

[Maximilianus]

You're not a guy, are you?
Of course not!
How many guys could bear the name "Mary", especially these days? :p


Thank you, Max. With all this encouragement from people who are "in the know"; I may try my hand at it sometime.
Please do! :)


I guess Mary's point is much like the concept Oscar Wilde was putting across with Dorian Gray. I'm afraid I am not so intuitive to know evil when I see it. It has to wear a big sign for me; otherwise, I think it is just horribly misunderstood and I get the urge to "rescue it". :conehead:
True, intuition is hard to master.


Well if you pay attention that beer has the shame of a female body :P


Funny, I was just thinking it looked like a man... Muscular chest, small waist and hips...:goof:
http://smiles.kolobok.us/artists/mother_goose/MG_107.gif http://smiles.kolobok.us/artists/just_cuz/JC_thinking.gif

[soundofmusic]

You're not a guy, are you?

Really, do men really look for "the beauty within":skep: Well, that's a relief, I thought they wanted my money:lol:
Actually, our Mary is a very beautiful and petite lady; but Simon might consider changing his name...though, I don't think I'd go with Mary; how about Simone:ihih:



Please do! :)

True, intuition is hard to master.

http://smiles.kolobok.us/artists/mother_goose/MG_107.gif http://smiles.kolobok.us/artists/just_cuz/JC_thinking.gif
It's too bad I threw out my diaries from my young wild days; I could do a Twilight sequel called, "The morning after":svengo:
I would do better with intuition if nature didn't always give "evil" such a beautiful face and mouthwatering physique:drool5::arf::reddevil:

[MarkBastable]

Really, do men really look for "the beauty within"?

Good God, no.


Man One: Jeez, look at the shape on that.

Man Two: Yeah - but she's evil. I've heard stories.

Man One: Oh, yeah - I know that. But even so...

Man Two: Yeah. I would.

Man One: I would too.

Man Two: I would three or four.

Man One: Actually, the evil part just makes it more.... you know.

Man Two: Oh, I know. I know.



This is how all men talk, and even the ones who don't talk like that think like that. Any minute now some guy will come along acting all affronted and will deny it. But - stand on me - he would too.

[kostaglatov]

well, it has been a while since i have visited here, and as i recall threads similar to this had been posted before. for me it is a rather trivial topic, but in the interest of contributing, i will offer my thoughts. Too begin with , nature demands to some extent that we attempt to be as attractive as possible. This is part of genetic survival. the more important point however is that generally speaking we tend to be less concerned with our physical appearance as we get older. This is also an aspect of the genes natural survival. somehow nature provides for the weaker gene to naturally become less attractive. But it must be said that to lay that particular form of vanity soley upon the woman is not only sexist and chauvenistic, it is also illogical.

[papayahed]

One day, I slipped on a pair of mens flannel pants and a mans soft cotton t-shirt. For some reason, womens clothes all feel like institution wear and mens clothing is soft and feels great against the skin...I seldom wear anything else around the neighborhood.

yeah.. My cashmere just cuts me to pieces.

[Maximilianus]

Really, do men really look for "the beauty within":skep:
I do, though I'm not really a man. I'm a masculine prototype of an advanced series... hmmm... pretty much an evolution of a failed experiment called "men"... http://smiles.kolobok.us/artists/mother_goose/MG_119.gif


Well, that's a relief, I thought they wanted my money:lol:
How much are you willing to share? :brow: :p :lol:


It's too bad I threw out my diaries from my young wild days; I could do a Twilight sequel called, "The morning after":svengo:
That's a real pity. We could have known about soundos' adventures :nod: I'm about to begin my autobiography. Not that I have amazing deeds to tell, but maybe what I have to say could be useful for some higher purpose http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/scratch_one-s_head.gif


I would do better with intuition if nature didn't always give "evil" such a beautiful face and mouthwatering physique:drool5::arf::reddevil:
I'm familiar with the drooling feeling too, as it often comes to haunt me in particularly inconvenient ways. I know, I know, I'm not a man but an advanced masculine... but I'm still a masculine... you know... :p


Good God, no.


Man One: Jeez, look at the shape on that.

Man Two: Yeah - but she's evil. I've heard stories.

Man One: Oh, yeah - I know that. But even so...

Man Two: Yeah. I would.

Man One: I would too.

Man Two: I would three or four.

Man One: Actually, the evil part just makes it more.... you know.

Man Two: Oh, I know. I know.



This is how all men talk, and even the ones who don't talk like that think like that. Any minute now some guy will come along acting all affronted and will deny it. But - stand on me - he would too.
I will not deny this, nor will I say that I'm not like the rest of men. All I will say is that I'm the result of trillion years of alien experimentations in order to come up with what I am, an evolved masculine prototype http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/meeting.gif

However, none of you has to believe me if you feel unable, though it would be awesome if a particular lady did :p

[OrphanPip]

This is how all men talk, and even the ones who don't talk like that think like that. Any minute now some guy will come along acting all affronted and will deny it. But - stand on me - he would too.

Change the pronoun from "she" to "he" and I'm all aboard.

My body tells me the ideal mate is dumb, beautiful, and easily seduced, but my brain tells me those probably aren't the best traits to be on the look out for.

[MarkBastable]

Change the pronoun from "she" to "he" and I'm all aboard.

My body tells me the ideal mate is dumb, beautiful, and easily seduced, but my brain tells me those probably aren't the best traits to be on the look out for.

There's an interesting modern phenomenon to be observed here, actually.

Twenty years ago, when I was single and crashing parties (this was way before I admitted to myself that I hate parties), I used to wonder why people - but particularly women - got upset that people at parties judged potential partners by their looks.

"Here I am, with my Ph.D in Mediaeval Literature and my loving personality and my membership of Amnesty International, and all the guys are swarming around that blonde slut in the minidress."

My argument was as follows: what everyone wants in a partner is three things - physical attractiveness, complementary intelligence and mutual love. You can run many kinds of relationship on two, or maybe even one of those, but if romance is going to be involved, physical attractiveness is pretty much a necessity. And that's the one - the only one - you can identify from across the room. So, when you see someone who you find physically attractive, and before you even pick your way through the crowd with a glass of wine and a hopeful grin, you know you've got thirty-three percent of the ideal covered. Why would you approach someone you didn't find physically attractive? You'd be down to two out of three at best, before you'd even started.

However, the internet has introduced another angle on this. In chatrooms and social networking sites, you can get to know someone pretty well before you know what they look like. So you can check off the complementary intelligence part of the ideal, and make a start on the mutual love bit - and all before you have a clue about the physical part.

Eventually, you might actually get to physically meet - and then the same rules kick in as those that apply at a party - which is the assessment of whether, having got one of the elements lined up, the others line up too. At a party this comes down to, "Well, I fancy you, but have I got anything to say to you in the morning?" And when netfriends meet, it's "Well, I've got plenty to say to you, but do I want to be saying it in the morning?"

So it's not that looks matter more than anything else. It's that you've got to start somewhere, and in the physical world it's easiest to start with the physical criteria.

[stephanson]

i think that it is society that has created this. the emphasis on being beautiful is now days entirely based on the looks of someone. there is such thing as inner beauty and if the media focused on this - i believe that the obsession for being beautiful physically would cease to exist if the emphasis was put back on what was on the inside that counts?

[Scheherazade]

yeah.. My cashmere just cuts me to pieces.:hurray:

And not to mention all that silk and satin's adverse effects on one's skin...

:p

[Revolte]

:hurray:

And not to mention all that silk and satin's adverse effects on one's skin...

Do tell, I wear alot of satin boxers and some shirts, I must know what I'm doing to myself lol.

[LitNetIsGreat]

Do you remember that orange stuff we had in the 1970's; it was for skin that burns, peels and becomes pasty again.

Yeah, but you don't have to go searching for a tan, who needs a tan in a bottle, how sad is that? What's the point in everybody putting pretend tan on out of a bottle? "Ohh, your tan is so lovely, which bottle did you use?"

I can't understand women sometimes, crazy...:incazzato:

[mona amon]

Wanting to get tanned is strange to me. In my country we try to remain as 'fair' as possible by staying out of the sun, or carrying a parasol when we go out!

I think everyone should try to be as beautiful as possible for one's well being (or is it the other way round) and self-confidence, but by natural means, not surgery.

[virginiawang]

Reading along this thread, I gradually sensed a strong and urgent need to cut off my ear wax, which has been lying persistently on the membrane deep in my ears. The ENT doctor I've been visiting never removed it completely. I was considering buying the tools he used every time he cut the surface part off and stopped out of fear, laziness, or whatever. I must visit him more often before I buy that tool and do it myself.

[soundofmusic]

Good God, no.


Man One: Jeez, look at the shape on that.

Man Two: Yeah - but she's evil. I've heard stories.

Man One: Oh, yeah - I know that. But even so...

Man Two: Yeah. I would.

Man One: I would too.

Man Two: I would three or four.

Man One: Actually, the evil part just makes it more.... you know.

Man Two: Oh, I know. I know.

This is how all men talk, and even the ones who don't talk like that think like that. Any minute now some guy will come along acting all affronted and will deny it. But - stand on me - he would too.

That is what I have always found comforting about men, their brains are true to their bodies. We women always have to find some "higher purpose" before picking up that beautiful, brainless, adonis-man/child.


well, it has been a while since i have visited here, and as i recall threads similar to this had been posted before. for me it is a rather trivial topic, but in the interest of contributing, i will offer my thoughts. Too begin with , nature demands to some extent that we attempt to be as attractive as possible. This is part of genetic survival. the more important point however is that generally speaking we tend to be less concerned with our physical appearance as we get older. This is also an aspect of the genes natural survival. somehow nature provides for the weaker gene to naturally become less attractive. But it must be said that to lay that particular form of vanity soley upon the woman is not only sexist and chauvenistic, it is also illogical.

Okay:confused5: Any thoughts, on why post menopausal women still run after 20 year old men...:skep:

yeah.. My cashmere just cuts me to pieces.
What's really terrible is that your endorphine levels go up so high when your wearing cashmere, "Oh god, I look so scrumptious in this; I almost want to date myself"...You don't realize you're in pain until you take it off:mad:

I do, though I'm not really a man.

How much are you willing to share? :brow: :p :lol:

That's a real pity. We could have known about soundos' adventures :nod:

I will not deny this, nor will I say that I'm not like the rest of men. All I will say is that I'm the result of trillion years of alien experimentations in order to come up with what I am, an evolved masculine prototype http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/meeting.gif



I think the really sad thing about our youthful adventures is that, at 50, you realize that everything you thought was spontaneous really had some sad, subconcious rational:frown2:
:skep: So that's what the aliens were doing? Who would have thought that 55 years of anal probes would have resulted in a perfect man:ladysman:

Change the pronoun from "she" to "he" and I'm all aboard.

My body tells me the ideal mate is dumb, beautiful, and easily seduced, but my brain tells me those probably aren't the best traits to be on the look out for.
My imagination can do so much more with a dumb and beautiful man. They are just so much more pleased about pleasing:ihih:

[Katy North]

Wanting to get tanned is strange to me. In my country we try to remain as 'fair' as possible by staying out of the sun, or carrying a parasol when we go out!


Hai!

I'm not sure where you're from, but I lived in Japan for three years. For once, my fair/almost translucent skin was considered incredibly attractive! I found that it was considered acceptable to carry around a parasol so that I didn't get burned to a crisp if caught walking in the middle of the afternoon on a summers day!

Considering my mother went on a insta-tan spree with me once a year before this so I would at least have the semblance of looking sun-kissed, this was a refreshing departure from the norm. I now feel no pressure whatsoever to look tan or act like I wish I was tan. Hurray for Japan!

[soundofmusic]

There's an interesting modern phenomenon to be observed here, actually.

Twenty years ago, when I was single and crashing parties (this was way before I admitted to myself that I hate parties), I used to wonder why people - but particularly women - got upset that people at parties judged potential partners by their looks.

"Here I am, with my Ph.D in Mediaeval Literature and my loving personality and my membership of Amnesty International, and all the guys are swarming around that blonde slut in the minidress."

My argument was as follows: what everyone wants in a partner is three things - physical attractiveness, complementary intelligence and mutual love. You can run many kinds of relationship on two, or maybe even one of those, but if romance is going to be involved, physical attractiveness is pretty much a necessity. And that's the one - the only one - you can identify from across the room. So, when you see someone who you find physically attractive, and before you even pick your way through the crowd with a glass of wine and a hopeful grin, you know you've got thirty-three percent of the ideal covered. Why would you approach someone you didn't find physically attractive? You'd be down to two out of three at best, before you'd even started.

However, the internet has introduced another angle on this. In chatrooms and social networking sites, you can get to know someone pretty well before you know what they look like. So you can check off the complementary intelligence part of the ideal, and make a start on the mutual love bit - and all before you have a clue about the physical part.

Eventually, you might actually get to physically meet - and then the same rules kick in as those that apply at a party - which is the assessment of whether, having got one of the elements lined up, the others line up too. At a party this comes down to, "Well, I fancy you, but have I got anything to say to you in the morning?" And when netfriends meet, it's "Well, I've got plenty to say to you, but do I want to be saying it in the morning?"

So it's not that looks matter more than anything else. It's that you've got to start somewhere, and in the physical world it's easiest to start with the physical criteria.

As the brunette in a miniskirt that was often swarmed, I found that those very profound, well-educated fellows were often looking for "instant gratification"
Of course, intellectuals (like both Mr Sounds ) are extremely high maintenance. They have opinions about everything; it sometimes takes an hour to agree on a fast food meal.:argue: Where as, the dumb and beautiful date will go to any movie as long as you buy him a big tub of popcorn and a large coke!:lurk5::thumbsup:

i think that it is society that has created this. the emphasis on being beautiful is now days entirely based on the looks of someone. there is such thing as inner beauty and if the media focused on this - i believe that the obsession for being beautiful physically would cease to exist if the emphasis was put back on what was on the inside that counts?
I know two of the most charming people. The man always smiles and is pleasant; he has had many woman offering to be his sperm bank (though he has a bit of a hump back, seldom works and looks very old for his age). Three years age, He had a child with a very sweet, plump, girl with a large derriere. Together, they had a freckley, plump, curved spined, large derriered daughter...:conehead:

Yeah, but you don't have to go searching for a tan, who needs a tan in a bottle, how sad is that? What's the point in everybody putting pretend tan on out of a bottle? "Ohh, your tan is so lovely, which bottle did you use?"

I can't understand women sometimes, crazy...:incazzato:

I'm always all for that argument until I see Brendan Fraser or Robert Patiinson stripped to the waist:skep:

[papayahed]

What's really terrible is that your endorphine levels go up so high when your wearing cashmere, "Oh god, I look so scrumptious in this; I almost want to date myself"...You don't realize you're in pain until you take it off:mad:




errmmm, what? It's just a sweater.

[soundofmusic]

errmmm, what? It's just a sweater.

Are you kidding...No, take another look...Vogue, move to the music. Now here's the back...Did you catch that collar:lol::drool5::banana::banana::icon_bs:

[Emil Miller]

Hai!

I'm not sure where you're from, but I lived in Japan for three years. For once, my fair/almost translucent skin was considered incredibly attractive! I found that it was considered acceptable to carry around a parasol so that I didn't get burned to a crisp if caught walking in the middle of the afternoon on a summers day!

The first time I went to China I was amazed to see people carrying open umbrellas in the sunshine. My Chinese friend told me it was because they wanted their skin to stay as light as possible as they didn't like a darker shade. When she told me to keep out of the sun for the same reason, I told her that as someone who came from England I needed all the sun I could get. Recently, I was talking to someone about how the English usually head for the sun when they get the chance, she smiled and said: "Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun."
To which I added the next lines: " The Japanese don't care to. The Chinese wouldn't dare to." This had an added piquancy because she is of mixed Japanese Chinese race.

[LitNetIsGreat]

The first time I went to China I was amazed to see people carrying open umbrellas in the sunshine. My Chinese friend told me it was because they wanted their skin to stay as light as possible as they didn't like a darker shade. When she told me to keep out of the sun for the same reason, I told her that as someone who came from England I needed all the sun I could get. Recently, I was talking to someone about how the English usually head for the sun when they get the chance, she smiled and said: "Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun."
To which I added the next lines: " The Japanese don't care to. The Chinese wouldn't dare to." This had an added piquancy because she is of mixed Japanese Chinese race.

Yes, I like that. Mad dogs and Englishmen for sure.

[Scheherazade]

That was one of the things that maybe me laugh out loud when I first moved to the UK: People stripping down to sunbathe on their lawns as soon as the sun was out and the temperature hit 18C.

:D

[Annamariah]

That was one of the things that maybe me laugh out loud when I first moved to the UK: People stripping down to sunbathe on their lawns as soon as the sun was out and the temperature hit 18C.

:D

When I was in comprehensive school, we started sunbathing as soon as the snow melted and the ground had dried :lol: +5 C degrees is just fine!

Isn't it just that "beautiful" is what is not common. In countries where people have naturally darker skin tones, their ideal is a fair skin, and where people are naturally fair, they want to be tanned.

I wouldn't go for a fake tan, but for a Finn just lying in the sun is such a rare luxury that it's better take up every possibility of doing so. There are summers when there are only a couple of really warm sunny days, and our winter is long and dark.

(When I said I wouldn't go for a fake tan, I must clarify that SUP treatment for my skin does not count. Not even though for two winters I've been more tanned than ever before even in mid-summer because of said selective ultraviolet phototheray :D )

[LitNetIsGreat]

That was one of the things that maybe me laugh out loud when I first moved to the UK: People stripping down to sunbathe on their lawns as soon as the sun was out and the temperature hit 18C.

:D

Ha, so you are not from the UK originally then? I was right, as always...:nod:

[Babyguile]

Evolutionary imperative.

Women want to attract the strongest (genetically-speaking) male and the way to attract the best is to look the best.

We're still as primitive as all that.

Keep dreaming old boy, keep dreaming...

[soundofmusic]

I don't know if women always go for the "strongest" man; sometimes they go for a strong man for yard work and a weak man with a Mercedes...

Of course, sometimes the strong fellow doing yard work is looking for an old, decrepit woman, who goes to bed at 7pm, with a Mercedes:ihih:

[teashi]

I think women want to look beautiful because 'that's the way it is'. The Fairer Sex, the magazines, the actresses in movies, and the shallowness of the typical guy whom they want to attract.

I think wanting to look beautiful is fine, but some do take it too far. That show 'What Not To Wear' comes to mind.. ugh.:frown2:

[papayahed]

I think wanting to look beautiful is fine, but some do take it too far. That show 'What Not To Wear' comes to mind.. ugh.:frown2:


:eek: Aside from my love for that show I can't for the life of me figure out how that show promotes beauty taken too far.

[Lulim]

I believe, most women (and men also, for that matter) are beautiful in their individual nature. The actual problem is that some feel impelled to meet the widely proclaimed ideal of beauty, and that does not apply to women only.

[teashi]

:eek: Aside from my love for that show I can't for the life of me figure out how that show promotes beauty taken too far.
Well, I didn't say it does, but the two hosts are (in my opinion) shallow fashion snobs who seem to make it their duty to criticize people's styles/clothes and make them feel like they have no taste.

Well, at least they give them a credit card to buy new stuff after they throw the person's clothes away.:rolleyes5:

[lostworld]

I think that society puts so much pressure on girls to conform into the worlds perspective of beautiful and that is why girls try so hard. Its a combination of trying to be excepted and presenting the "perfect" person.

[blazeofglory]

I think that society puts so much pressure on girls to conform into the worlds perspective of beautiful and that is why girls try so hard. Its a combination of trying to be excepted and presenting the "perfect" person.

In fact what attracts males to women is their beauty, bodily of course primarily and then comes character and the like.

Mating first begin in the stuff between our two ears and then only in the lower part. It is the beauty of a woman, her sexy look, not her sexual organs that matter first to a male.

Modern women have many things to snare males; primitively the drive was her beauty that she can trap a male. Even in many tribal communities beauty is the tool. But in modern times women are bread winners too on an equal footing and their educations, careers, skills and efficiencies too play a lead-role.

These things apart it is always beauty that enmesh males. Of course females too find sexy males appealingly irresistible but in a lesser degree