Drums
04-03-2010, 08:43 AM
Hey, I'm new here.
I've never wrote anything before and I'm not that good at English in school. Just turned 16 in March and I'm from England. I got bored this morning and decided to write something. I'd like to get better at writing... anyway here's what I've got. It's not finished yet by the way. Give me advice but don't be too harsh please :)
Clenched fists at love’s assist
The room filled with increasing numbers of such gentry guests and all sorts of up their own arse wankers. As you stepped into the room the ceiling magnetized your eyes. Shadows of the art showed what seemed to be something frightening and fearful but when drawn to the foot of the actual object, the misleading silhouette was proven to be pretend. Mystery encircled the large dome like a vulture in the hunt for it’s weak prey. The walls had a cream base with symmetrical aristocratic dark golden 3D patterns. On the ceiling were angels, cupids, devils, fairies, wings, birds, more wings and what looked like a portrait of a young Saint Mary. Candles were lit on the buffet tables around the edges of the hall and the snub children running around blew several out. What they didn’t realize is what a mess it had made to the designers of the hall causing the perfect proportions to end. The food ranged from plain chips opened up into a bowl to salads to biscuits to chocolate. Each face was different except the odd couple or even quarter of a dozen that looked exactly the same.
As the lady breathed in the slightest air, it sent a tickle down the back of her throat. The tickle rummaged and rattled until a whales’ roar whooped out through her fragile red rose lips. It wasn’t some-thing she enjoyed; she wasn’t pleased about the splatter on the front mans, back, but she continued to gaze around the hall until an opportunity opened. It was her dying obsession to have this chap alone in the hours of darkness. To have him pinned down by the dark like an agile beast. Besides she had blown off a girly night in to be here which showed a true sensation and sentiment for this propitious man. But he didn’t know it in spite of that.
She was ready. The time had come. Pacing her steps, she toddled closer to a man. Features crowded around her, features of the man. His cheeks were rugged and rough; his nose slightly bent from what it looked like had been a punch up from his younger more mischievous days. His smile was like the sun set on a rainy afternoon it drew attention around the hall and she could not with stand such a sight. There are several ways of approaching this task. One of which is to ask him politely for a dance.
EDIT: I think I may have put this in the wrong section too, if someone could move it to the proper place that'd be great thanks.
I've never wrote anything before and I'm not that good at English in school. Just turned 16 in March and I'm from England. I got bored this morning and decided to write something. I'd like to get better at writing... anyway here's what I've got. It's not finished yet by the way. Give me advice but don't be too harsh please :)
Clenched fists at love’s assist
The room filled with increasing numbers of such gentry guests and all sorts of up their own arse wankers. As you stepped into the room the ceiling magnetized your eyes. Shadows of the art showed what seemed to be something frightening and fearful but when drawn to the foot of the actual object, the misleading silhouette was proven to be pretend. Mystery encircled the large dome like a vulture in the hunt for it’s weak prey. The walls had a cream base with symmetrical aristocratic dark golden 3D patterns. On the ceiling were angels, cupids, devils, fairies, wings, birds, more wings and what looked like a portrait of a young Saint Mary. Candles were lit on the buffet tables around the edges of the hall and the snub children running around blew several out. What they didn’t realize is what a mess it had made to the designers of the hall causing the perfect proportions to end. The food ranged from plain chips opened up into a bowl to salads to biscuits to chocolate. Each face was different except the odd couple or even quarter of a dozen that looked exactly the same.
As the lady breathed in the slightest air, it sent a tickle down the back of her throat. The tickle rummaged and rattled until a whales’ roar whooped out through her fragile red rose lips. It wasn’t some-thing she enjoyed; she wasn’t pleased about the splatter on the front mans, back, but she continued to gaze around the hall until an opportunity opened. It was her dying obsession to have this chap alone in the hours of darkness. To have him pinned down by the dark like an agile beast. Besides she had blown off a girly night in to be here which showed a true sensation and sentiment for this propitious man. But he didn’t know it in spite of that.
She was ready. The time had come. Pacing her steps, she toddled closer to a man. Features crowded around her, features of the man. His cheeks were rugged and rough; his nose slightly bent from what it looked like had been a punch up from his younger more mischievous days. His smile was like the sun set on a rainy afternoon it drew attention around the hall and she could not with stand such a sight. There are several ways of approaching this task. One of which is to ask him politely for a dance.
EDIT: I think I may have put this in the wrong section too, if someone could move it to the proper place that'd be great thanks.