Big Bang Theory

[lallison]

The sun in a clasp
Hear the metal hum

This is its song
What else could it be

A sunflower hidden in a seed

[PrinceMyshkin]

How else to deal with the "Big Bang Theory" than in such an economic, Delphic way? I love the spareness of this, like three brushstrokes by a Chinese master.

[Pendragon]

Beautifully brief and full of powerful imagery! Bravo! Encore! Encore!

[paradoxical]

I love that last line. It really captures the essence of the poem.

I would say maybe make the rest a bit longer, but actually I think it works with just a few lines.

[Dr. Cambridge]

The sun in a clasp
Hear the metal hum

This is its song
What else could it be

A sunflower hidden in a seed
A truly inspirational concept and your workmanship is enjoyed, lallison, as I wax somewhat poetical in muse of it.

No punctuation...free verse function...sun in a clasp...this we must grasp...sunflower in a seed...ready to breed...metal hum...mind going numb...song of the sun...having some fun...slow motion explosion...rust and corosion...big bang theory...will no-one hear ye?

[lallison]

Thanks for all the great input and good vibes. My thinking when I wrote this was that the big bang,of course, was the name of the naked singularity which took up no space, but was infinitely dense, and expanded to form the universe. So a poem using it as a symbol could never be small enough.

What I'm going for here is compressed energy. "The sun in a clasp" It's not altogether unlike the soul you may have trapped in your body. It hums to expand into something larger, perhaps its natural self. Which is, of course why we write poetry, to express that compressed energy singing to escape and express itself.

I think that Poems are the hum of our soul's compressed energy calling from the shell of our bodies.

A seed has the potential to be something much greater than what it is, and its meaning is more than what it seems. Imagine looking at a naked singularity before it blossoms. It would be less than nothing.

The Big Bang Theory is my theory about poetry, although its hardly original to me, that each word and phrase of a poem should expand within our minds to be much larger than it is on paper.

I tried to use symbolism to express this.

I tried it with punctuation correctly at first, but it made it even more cryptic, with mixed periods and question marks and then a fragment for the last line, so i just threw them all out.

Anyhow, whatever my intention, the only thing that really matters with poetry is whether or not people enjoy it. Hope you did.

Thanks so much for the feedback.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I not only enjoyed the poem itself, but your explanation is equally poetic and inspired in its own way. There are likely as many explanations or feelings about what a poem is as there are poets.

[dizzydoll]

I enjoyed this poem. I also enjoyed reading everyone's perspective on it. For me the metal represented the different minerals that make up the universe humming away together yet separate.

btw, its no longer the Big Bang theory anymore, its replaced as the Big Bounce according to this physics lesson in Sept 2009. See diagram

http://math.ucr.edu/home/baez/week280.html

Perhaps this will inspire more poems. Enjoy. :idea:

[Hawkman]

Sorry to have taken so long to compliment this poem, been a bit pressed for time, but it is powerful in siimplicity and concept and just as thought provoking. H

[Bar22do]

I'm late too with my praise for this precious jewel! (wasn't around for a while and am catching up) as if you wrote from your own memory/experience of the big bang, not from what you know of the theory... simply great. Thanks and -- waiting for more... Bar

[Buh4Bee]

I love it when poets explain the meaning behind their poetry. It certainly is an economical poem with plenty of symbolism to ponder.

[shortstoryfan]

Jersea, I like when poets get their poems explained to them. :P

I really enjoyed this poem. I've been trying to write longer poems, but this poem definitely makes me wonder if there is a point.

[Dodo25]

I like it a lot! I've always wanted to write a big poem about everything, but the problem is I don't have an ear for cadences or verses..

Just one small thing, I don't understand why you use the word 'theory' in your title. I mean the poem is about the actual big bang, not about the math that is explaining what happened.

[Il Dante]

Just one small thing, I don't understand why you use the word 'theory' in your title. I mean the poem is about the actual big bang, not about the math that is explaining what happened.

Perhaps the word "theory" is there because... well... "Big Bang" might suggest other things.:yikes:

[lallison]

Haha, yeah, among other things Big Bang is the name of a popular Korean rap band I'd rather not associate the poem with.

[Dodo25]

As it happens though, 'Big Bang Theory' is the name of a hilarious altough not so serious TV show.. Actually the first thing I associated it with when I read the title. It seems like there is no obvious solution.

'Theory' makes a bit more sense with your explanation added to it, if you look at it as a theory for writing poetry. Without that I'd prefer the plainer version, but that's just me.

[lallison]

Damn, I guess the title is going to be pretty cliche' any way you put it. But, yeah, I put theory there because its my theory for poetry. i originally did have it titled Big Bang. Maybe I should try to come up with something all together more original, but I think this title does ground the reader in a poem that can be a bit illusive.