No age for Heroes

[Hawkman]

If Beowulf were alive today I wonder how he’d manage;
An age for heroes this is not, though troops I’ll not disparage.
But imagine for a moment that from Grendel you have hassle
And Beowulf comes along to offer succour as your vassal.
He’d stand forth proud, then fairly speak and offer to assist
But before he’d got the words out he’d be ordered to desist.
“Sorry mate, you can’t do that without a risk assessment,
That sword you’ve got is much too sharp, you’ll have an accident.
Health and safety clearly states the blade you must keep covered,
A better guard than that’s required, an arm could just be severed.”
“Listen chum, wild animals: you can’t slaughter them today.”
This voice that’s heard to speak, is from the RSPCA,
“Endangered species act forbids and says they are protected,
And that means jail, if from this course, you cannot be deflected.”
Then the EPA pipes up, “Keep out of our nice lake,
You cannot mess it up with blood and guts, for heaven’s sake!”
So Grendel would persist in all his vile depredation
And our hero’d be deported for illegal immigration.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Shouldn't there be a tax on all the fun you're having - and providing us, to boot?

[Hawkman]

I do hope not, I couldn't afford to pay it, except in kind.

[lallison]

If your goal is to entertain us, then you're a success indubitably.

Have you ever tried to write children's poetry? I'm asking because I think you'd be just as successful at that, if you put your heart into it.

[Hawkman]

Hi lallison, and thank you for your kind words. with regard to your query and suggestion may I refer you to my last entry in the Tiger strand in response to Virgil. While I have the tiger thing in mind here's something I meant to share with you.

During the 1950s my parents were living in Singapore. I remember them telling me of a local news report of how a local woman had been wandering down a jungle track on the mainland and had come upon what she beleived to be a dead tiger just lying on the path.

As Tiger's whiskers were regarded as powerful good luck charms, she bent down to yank one out. She was considerably disconcerted when the Tiger she had assumed to be a corpse, jumped up with a roar and ran off into the jungle, while she ran screaming in the opposite direction! One must assume, therefore, that the tiger's whisker, was indeed, good luck...

H

[Il Dante]

I love it.

What is so fresh and inspiring to me about this poem is its witty contemporary satire. I have long felt that our times have escaped too lightly from the satirist's rapier wit. I wish Jonathan Swift were here. He would have a field day.

Our age deserves its Jonathan Swift.

[lallison]

haha, that's a great story. I try to avoid puling on the whiskers of sleeping tigers myself.

[Hawkman]

Il Dante, Thanks for your comments but alas I'm not so gifted as to presume to the mantle of one so great, but I don't mind needling the complacent.

lallison, a wise precaution. Live and be well. H