Beasties

[Hawkman]

There are beasts at the bottom of your cupboards,
that no known earthly power can put to flight,
you’d never guess the dreadful schemes they’re hatching,
until their awful deeds can come to light.

These critters come from deep in hell,
and rend the night with howls,
but truth to tell, and like as not,
you’ll find them with your towels.

Thus they breed in safety,
and rest there, undisturbed;
by foolish doubts and misplaced hope
and lack of faith, preserved.

So how then can you rid yourself
Of such unwelcome guests?
Some spiritual assistance might
just free you from these pests.

You could try to make a golem
to chase these things away
but the words you put inside it’s head,
might only make them stay.

You could catch a passing dybbuk
to perform your crittercide
but then you’d need a Rabbi
to persuade it back outside.

If your taste is catholic,
an exorcist you’d call,
but be certain he can do it right,
and that he’s on the ball.

You also might consider this,
a voodoo priest or shaman;
though they make a lot of mess,
they’re an option if you’re pagan.

So be cognisant of danger,
and the peril that you’re in,
for if you’re not, they’ll get you,
in the kitchen, from within.

There are beasts at the bottom of your cupboards,
that no known earthly power can put to flight,
you’d never guess the dreadful schemes they’re hatching,
until their awful deeds can come to light.

[blazeofglory]

I think this poem can be a beautiful piece for children. Not that it does not entertain us. It does profusely. In fact I find them full of substance and of course it can fuel children's imaginative powers or faculties. Rhyming a poem is indeed a matter of great craftsmanship and few possess it and you have really made it marvelously. But still if it can be reached out to children they it will thrill. Or you can write a book of verses and I am sure it will sell wonderfully

[PrinceMyshkin]

It's tricky, but fun, to try to navigate between the jaunty tone of this, with its clever rhymes, and the possibility that you have something serious in mind, but as for a previous poster's suggestion that it might make a good poem for children, I think it might scare the HELL out of them!

[lallison]

The rhyme makes it very interesting, and, for me, there are lots of interesting ideas flaring out from it. still, there are a few rhymes that seem to stand just for the sake of keeping time, ex: "and that he’s on the ball," which is also a phrase that gives us nothing original. Otherwise, I love the humor.

The first and last verses seem somehow different than the rest of the poem, and I like them best. I would also love to hear more about the gremlins you have running around here.

Thanks for an enjoyable read.

[PrinceMyshkin]

There are beasts at the bottom of your cupboards,*
there are unwanted creatures
slithering through your halls.
But they’re not the worst of life’s bad features.

‘Cause you never know
what you don’t know
or what, from all the seeds you planted,
you might sow.


_______________________
* With apologies to Hawkman

[Hawkman]

Hi Blaze and thanks for your comments and I’m once again happy to have entertained you. I’m not sure whether I don’t agree with Prince Mishkin with regard for its suitability for the kiddies though, although I must confess, the nature of the tales of the Brothers Grimm and Hans Anderson can also be pretty gruesome, so perhaps you’re right. Anyway, with generations being spawned who spend their time playing computer games, which largely seem to comprise slaughtering everything in sight, it might even be too tame for them!

My Prince, to quote a line from Ridley Scott’s Gladiator, “Fear and wonder are a powerful combination.” The fear of the unknown is probably our most primordial instinct and a source of some of our most wonderful urban legends, from alligators in the sewers to poltergeists. I suppose the more adventurous children might be prompted investigate the cupboards (thus infuriating their mothers) while the more timid will be persuaded to keep their noses out of closets that don’t concern them.

Hi lallison, I’m glad you enjoyed the fun. I will endeavour to provide evidence of Gremlins for you in the near future.

“Cause you never know
what you don’t know
or what, from all the seeds you planted,
you might sow.”

Sorry Prince, but this doesn’t quite work. I definitely think there should be a reap in there somewhere, but thanks for the thought.

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

Sorry Prince, but this doesn’t quite work. I definitely think there should be a reap in their somewhere, but thanks for the thought.

H

Not half so sorry (and red-faced) as I am! Course I'm a city boy and can barely tell a cow from a maple tree. But here's my attempt to mend my error:



“Cause you never know
what you may keep
of all the seeds you planted,
and must now reap.”

[Hawkman]

Ah, now you're talkin'...

and by the way, the cows are the ones with four stalks!

H

[blank|verse]

Nurse!!

[PrinceMyshkin]

Nurse!!

Are you summoning help for him, or urging him to make use of those cows?

[blank|verse]

Well, I meant the former of course; but in what sense Hawkman takes it is another matter entirely...

[PrinceMyshkin]

Well, I meant the former of course; but in what sense Hawkman takes it is another matter entirely...

Without knowing anything of his romantic situation or inclination, it's possible that each suggestion might appeal to him.

(Yes, the preceding is a dangling modifier, so sue me!)

[Hawkman]

Thank you gentlemen. I think at this time I might point out that my service training has equipped me with certain abilities and contacts and as I am also a sociopath it is only fair to warn you both that I shall track you down and force you to eat bananas until you say sorry....

H