Tiger in the bathroom

[Hawkman]

When you venture forth to take a shower or a bath,
You’d better hope a tiger ain’t been left there for a laugh.
For though a tiger likes to swim or splash about and play,
He’s liable to be hungry if he’s been doing it all day.

A tiger ain’t a moggy you can stroke or cuddle up to,
He’s got big teeth and fearsome claws designed to lacerate you;
His stomach can accommodate half an elk or bison,
So he’ll eat you up then take a nap, even with the light on.

So don’t go to the bathroom without checking first to see,
If a tiger is patrolling it within his territory.
The consequences of this fact, in truth, could be quite dire,
So maybe you should purge it first, and I suggest, with fire.

[blazeofglory]

This is a nicely rhymed and interesting piece and the beauty of the poem is commendable; yet the message the poet wants to give is a little obscured. Who signifies the tiger? If the reader understands the underlying idea it will be more intoxicating

[Hawkman]

Sadly, blaze, this little rhyme has no hidden message. It is merely a little bit of linguistic fun designed purely for entertainment. However, the tiger has always been my favourite animal.

H

[Hawkman]

Hamster, Hamster in the night,
Upon a wheel that rattles.
Can it be you’re not too bright,
Going nowhere on your travels?

Teeth like chisels, eyes that bulge,
A tailless, furry ball of glee,
What passion then should I indulge?
All rodents look the same to me.

A generator to your wheel,
Perhaps I should attach,
Then your worth I might yet feel,
Activity with purpose matched.

And would a cat be just the spur
To make you run yet faster?
Outside your cage he’d sit and purr,
“More ouput for your master.”

Hamster, Hamster in the night,
Upon a wheel that rattles.
Can it be you’re not too bright,
Going nowhere on your travels?

[blank|verse]

Hawkman, I'm beginning seriously to question your sanity!

They're both good fun though - the 'bison / lights on' rhyme made me laugh. And a nice twist to the famous Blake poem to continue the tiger theme in the second poem.

Now if Sir would like to come this way back to Reality... Sir... no, this way Sir...

[qimissung]

Could be your the next Shel Silverstein!

[lallison]

I like 'em both, but don't demean tigers. They're gonna get you sooner or later. For me, personally, i hope, for god's sake, its not in the bathroom. Seriously, its not a matter to jest about. You have conjured the fear of porcelain within my bowls.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Hamster, Hamster in the night,
Upon a wheel that rattles.
Can it be you’re not too bright,
Going nowhere on your travels?

Teeth like chisels, eyes that bulge,
A tailless, furry ball of glee,
What passion then should I indulge?
All rodents look the same to me.

A generator to your wheel,
Perhaps I should attach,
Then your worth I might yet feel,
Activity with purpose matched.

And would a cat be just the spur
To make you run yet faster?
Outside your cage he’d sit and purr,
“More ouput for your master.”

Hamster, Hamster in the night,
Upon a wheel that rattles.
Can it be you’re not too bright,
Going nowhere on your travels?

A bit of Blake, a bit of Burns... and a fair bit of the ebullient Dr.! Thanks

[blazeofglory]

Hamster, Hamster in the night,
Upon a wheel that rattles.
Can it be you’re not too bright,
Going nowhere on your travels?

Teeth like chisels, eyes that bulge,
A tailless, furry ball of glee,
What passion then should I indulge?
All rodents look the same to me.

A generator to your wheel,
Perhaps I should attach,
Then your worth I might yet feel,
Activity with purpose matched.

And would a cat be just the spur
To make you run yet faster?
Outside your cage he’d sit and purr,
“More ouput for your master.”

Hamster, Hamster in the night,
Upon a wheel that rattles.
Can it be you’re not too bright,
Going nowhere on your travels?


I like your style very much. Now most of poets are too much preoccupied prosaic poetry which is unmoving and dull. Now this kind of rhymed poetry awakens the lost sensibility of us. I really love such poems.

[Hawkman]

Greetings BV and many thanks for your kind words, though I fear I must decline your generous offer to have the gentlemen in white coats escort me to the realms of sanity. I like my reality better! Glad I gave you a giggle, I’ll try and find something equally mad for my next outing.

Qim, thanks for dropping by. I must confess to having been in ignorance of the good Mr. Silverstien until you mentioned him and I have subsequently looked him up. As he seems to have been rather successful I can only hope that that I may be his successor. My influences have been people like Edward Lear, and Hilaire Belloc up to now.

llalison, I apologise for causing you such distress and adding an unwelcome level of terror to you morning and evening ablutions. Sitting safely here in Devon, tigers pose a significantly lower threat than they may do in more exotic climes. Still, if you follow the advice of the poem and precede your entry into the bathroom with a flaming torch, you will be fine. Probably.

My Prince, as always I am happy to have entertained you, though for the moment I am at a loss as to which Dr. you allude to. for some reason, the only doctors I can think of are Crippen and Doolittle… I know, Go figure!

Blaze, thank you for your praise and appreciation and I’m happy to have been able to entertain you.

Thank you all again for your comments,

Live and be well.

[AuntShecky]

Very amusing spoofs of William Blake, who, if you ask me, has had it comin' to 'im lo these many centuries.

Even if it weren't a back-handed parody, the tiger piece is refreshing. I am so sick of the "elephant in the living room" cliché, aren't you. In the second stanza, the stresses of your rhymes don't match up, but perhaps that was intentional. After all, the aforementioned Mr. Blake would have us believe that "eye" rhymes with "symmetry."

Again, well done.

[PrinceMyshkin]

My Prince, as always I am happy to have entertained you, though for the moment I am at a loss as to which Dr. you allude to. for some reason, the only doctors I can think of are Crippen and Doolittle… I know, Go figure!

My apologies. For some reason I thought the poems I was responding to were by Dr. Cambridge.

[Hawkman]

Sorry Auntie, you lost me with the elephant in the livingroom thing, I always associate elephants with kitchens, you know, "How do you know when an elephant has been in the fridge? answer: because of the footprints in the butter."

Prince, you wound me, you cut me to the quick!

H

[AuntShecky]

Sorry Auntie, you lost me with the elephant in the livingroom thing,


H

It must be an "Americanism," and one can't sit through a cable news talk show without hearing it a dozen times, like the word "disingenuous." "The elephant in the living room" expression describes a touchy situation about which everybody in the whole world knows, but rather than address it, let alone solve it, folks choose to ignore it. It's
similar to the now-proverbial "800 pound gorilla," originating with a joke:
"Where does an 800-lb gorilla sit?"
"Anywhere he wants to."

[PrinceMyshkin]

Prince, you wound me, you cut me to the quick!

H

Odds bodkins, sirrah, I meant thee no harm.

[Virgil]

Definitely enjoyable. You seem to have a talent for children's poetry. You should consider writing children's books.

Oh, and I prefer the Tiger poem better.

[Hawkman]

Hi Virgil and thanks for your comments. In truth I would be delighted to get published, but my experience has been that I can’t even get an agent to respond to an enquiry let alone offer to represent me.

For novels my style is an unholy combination of Anne McCaffrey, Julian May, Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams, whereas my screenplays tend to be Chandleresque Film Noir (with a dose of Michael Moorcock) that would probably appeal only to the Cohen Brothers or perhaps Frank Miller. You’ve already seen what my poetry is like.

Such talent as I have seems to be best suited to parody.

If you honestly believe anyone would like to publish me, I’m all ears when it comes to suggestions. If you would care to PM me with them I’ll buy you a beer when I’m famous! Until then I’ll just continue to starve in my garret, and yes, I really live in one.

All the best, H