thecatwithfish
03-29-2010, 12:08 PM
I just wanted to get a few people's thoughts on a poem I wrote this morning... Be nice but don't be afraid to be critical...
Summer Rain
The rain begins to fall, like a raging stream
its torrents pour on down from heaven’s eaves.
Each and every of its drops a perfect jewel,
destined to burst into a thousand drops of beauty
as it collides with our hard earth.
Men and Women all around me rush for cover,
darting into shops and under canopies, some
raise umbrellas or cover heads with coats
as they dash ahead. But I do none of these,
I stand, still and quiet, gazing upward to
the lofty clouds, raindrops shattering across my face.
I breathe deep and feel the freshness of this
summer shower across my hot skin.
The skies begin to clear, the clouds retreat;
curling themselves away and revealing the
bright and dreamlike light behind.
Still standing still, the crowd once more engulfs me,
The ground is wet, the air is hot
and rainbow tendrils form across the sky.
Summer Rain
The rain begins to fall, like a raging stream
its torrents pour on down from heaven’s eaves.
Each and every of its drops a perfect jewel,
destined to burst into a thousand drops of beauty
as it collides with our hard earth.
Men and Women all around me rush for cover,
darting into shops and under canopies, some
raise umbrellas or cover heads with coats
as they dash ahead. But I do none of these,
I stand, still and quiet, gazing upward to
the lofty clouds, raindrops shattering across my face.
I breathe deep and feel the freshness of this
summer shower across my hot skin.
The skies begin to clear, the clouds retreat;
curling themselves away and revealing the
bright and dreamlike light behind.
Still standing still, the crowd once more engulfs me,
The ground is wet, the air is hot
and rainbow tendrils form across the sky.