I Remember

[carino]

I remember a dress the color of sunflowers gently swaying to an enchanted melody; a floppy hat the color of fresh fallen snow and a small fragile hand cradling a little black missal being taken to Sunday Mass.

I remember longing to be the priest hearing her fervent confession and holding her meager sins in my ardent arms, while assigning only two Hail Mary’s to absolve her perceived offenses.

I remember her casual glance touching my spirit and turning my cold, cruel heart into an ember while a sweet feeling of contentment swept over me like the warm waves of the Caribbean.

I remember her slim waist and her hips that promised many offspring, while her legs in sheer stockings begged to be released from their confinement so that they could tenderly embrace my waist.

I remember she looked at me her eyes full of hope and dreams while I in my Sunday best held her hand while slipping a ring on her finger and hearing “I do.” Oh God how I remember.

[lallison]

Hauntingly beautiful and sad! A very thoughtful piece of poetry. You inspired me, thanks for touching upon a theme that occupies my mind so often.

[blank|verse]

Nicely written, with those Whitman-esque long lines. It's always difficult to make long lines poetic, but I think this works well. The only line that was a bit too prosaic for me was this one:

while assigning only two Hail Mary’s to absolve her perceived offenses.
as the rhythm seems to go a bit flat.

But overall, it's a good piece.

[dafydd manton]

There's some lovely images in there. A beautiful love poem, with some phrases that melt the heart. thank you for that one, I really enjoyed it.

[Jerrybaldy]

Different of style and evocative. I liked it very much
cheers
JB

[Bar22do]

This is new, original, touching! EXCELLENT, in my opinion. The third stanza:

"I remember her casual glance touching my spirit and turning my cold, cruel heart into an ember while a sweet feeling of contentment swept over me like the warm waves of the Caribbean."

was particularly climatic and decisive.

Thanks a lot, carino.

Bar