Jordan

[PrinceMyshkin]

Jordan was asleep, sitting up
in the corner of the cafe
thinking of I couldn’t imagine what.

The lids of his eyes were thin
and hardly protected him
from wakefulness.

I could offer him a cigarette as I left,
but that might be too overt a gesture
at his poverty, his need
for almost anything.

[Virgil]

Really cute. Certainly captures a moment. :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

Really cute. Certainly captures a moment. :)

I don't know what to make of "cute" other than that I failed - hugely - in my desire to convey the deep, deep sadness that emanates from this man, who is possibly schizophrenic.

[blank|verse]

It's tempting to read political connotations into the name 'Jordan', knowing Prince's interest in the 'Muddle East'... but that's probably reading too much into it.

Otherwise, it's a nicely sympathetic piece. I was re-reading a bit of Wordsworth recently and am reminded here of his breathtaking conclusion to 'Simon Lee' that:

Alas! the gratitude of men
Has oftner left me mourning.

[PrinceMyshkin]

It's tempting to read political connotations into the name 'Jordan', knowing Prince's interest in the 'Muddle East'... but that's probably reading too much into it.

Otherwise, it's a nicely sympathetic piece. I was re-reading a bit of Wordsworth recently and am reminded here of his breathtaking conclusion to 'Simon Lee' that:

Alas! the gratitude of men
Has oftner left me mourning.

Yes, I should or could have worried more about using that name, and yes, you are right that I intended no allusion to the Middle East or to politics in the conventional sense, other perhaps than Donne's famous sermon, but I honestly did not intend to make even that point.

[Virgil]

I don't know what to make of "cute" other than that I failed - hugely - in my desire to convey the deep, deep sadness that emanates from this man, who is possibly schizophrenic.

Well, then I apologize. I did not get that. Cute, means it's a nice poem of an endearing moment.

[Hawkman]

Hi PM,

I rmember this individual from an earlier reference in your Snapshots strand. In capturing distillations of observation, your pen is a lucid camera indeed.

H

[Buh4Bee]

Prince, I so enjoy when you write these types of poems. How well you are usually able to capture moments in cafes or the city. It's a landscape I know well.

If you read the poem carefully you can comprehend Jordan's poverty.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Hi PM,

I rmember this individual from an earlier reference in your Snapshots strand. In capturing distillations of observation, your pen is a lucid camera indeed.

H


Prince, I so enjoy when you write these types of poems. How well you are usually able to capture moments in cafes or the city. It's a landscape I know well.

If you read the poem carefully you can comprehend Jordan's poverty.

Many thanks, Hawkman & Jersea.

Jersea: since you speak of knowing this landscape well, have you ever been tempted to record your own brief snapshots?

[thecatwithfish]

A very moving poem, I have to say the poverty only came across in the 3rd stanza (maybe I'm missing something) but the sadness and reflectivity of the situation was apparent from the start.

I also agree with jersea - I love this kind of urban snapshot, the way the individual can be so grounded in a well known surrounding yet so removed from it by the focus on intense feeling...

[PrinceMyshkin]

A very moving poem, I have to say the poverty only came across in the 3rd stanza (maybe I'm missing something) but the sadness and reflectivity of the situation was apparent from the start.

I also agree with jersea - I love this kind of urban snapshot, the way the individual can be so grounded in a well known surrounding yet so removed from it by the focus on intense feeling...

Thank you. You might care to look up another thread of mine, called "Snapshots."

[PrinceMyshkin]

Jordan sits alone
asleep
slumped in a chair
at the café.


“A solitary pawn spreads gloom across the chessboard.”
Mikhail Tal

[blank|verse]

I'm not quite sure how to read this one, Prince.

The first stanza is admirably concise; but is the quote meant to be part of the poem, or a form of epigraph? It might work better if you could work the sentiment of the quote (even if you steal the metaphor) into a second stanza.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I'm not quite sure how to read this one, Prince.

The first stanza is admirably concise; but is the quote meant to be part of the poem, or a form of epigraph? It might work better if you could work the sentiment of the quote (even if you steal the metaphor) into a second stanza.

Thanks as always for your courteous comment, B|V. Yes, the quotation is meant to be part of the poem, to provide as much in the way of emotonal comment on the first (or only) stanza as I thought appropriate.

I've worked and worked on a follow up to my original poem re Jordan, trying as best I could to put him on the page, but every previous effort contained too much of what I saw as projection. There is something about the man that touches me very deeply - something, perhaps, of myself that I recognize in him, but I wanted to do him justice and to keep myself entirely out of the picture, if I could. I didn't want to make him a character that I shaped or intuited.

I'd be opposed to appropriating Tal's statement, if for no other reason that I know only the rudiments of chess.

By the way, you could google other quotations by Tal about chess. Many of them are very poetic and, as you might expect, reflect on chess as if it were life itself. If you don't succeed in finding those quotations, I'd be happy to PM them to you if you like.