Winter Thought

[Revolte]

For years I left my soul, entranced
In a state of lover's remorse,
And through all of those years, came many a tear
As the tapping of heartache grew hoarse.

And in winter's settling fog, I breathed
A breath of sick cluttered air,
While I thought of the dead, and the many to die
By the hands of love and despair.

Did they sing all the same, half dead
With breaths to thin to account?
If there are others like me, can those others alone
Grow roses through dry desert ground?

[Nax]

As always I am a fan of your poetry, though for me a few of the lines sound a bit forced or overworked.

As a poet, we must strive to say as much as we can with as few words, always try to "cut the fat" in poetry. Less is more, and will generally flow better with less it's, so's, and's etc.