Getting Off the TV (A Housewife’s Lament)

[Buh4Bee]

The romance between the rake and the broom*
But this shouldn’t be…
I can attest that the Swifter is not any more efficient
The rag beats the duster, my husband’s old boxer shorts cut up into squares
too difficult to quilt into anything

The animal is constantly in my wake of cleaning
The cat, the dog, and the rat (other dog)
The bed, the couch, or the rug.

I lament for my inability to do laundry
My washer doesn’t work, it just spins all night
like the dreams I have of cleaning
the toilet bowl, around and around
And my husband is jealous of Bobby Degree, the appliance repair man
What can I do if I make a flirt or two?

Those hard-water stains are a force to be reckoned with
I have to lie that I strained my arm ski-diving or something of that nature*
Because I scrubbed too hard, imagine that!
I’m convinced Lime Away works.

Oh, and for my anxiety and weight loss
There are a million options to control these self-destructive habits
The remote works well enough to shut up the idiot box
Whether externally or internally?

But laundry, the dishwasher and the vacuum will be my gods of worship
I remember Orpheus, my lyre playing minstrel,
Come and entertain me with your stories of dramatic romance and heart-ache.
Distract me from the terrible daytime soap operas.
For I should be busy washing my floors
Can your divinity help me keep my house in order?

* Reference to a Swifter commercial.
* Reference to a Lime Away

[PrinceMyshkin]

This is so much fun, though the fun hardly conceals some underlying serious concern. There's no questioning the authenticity of the voice!

A few typos or mistakes:
In verse 5, l. 1 "weight lose" should be weight loss;
In verse 6, l. 1, "god's" should be gods without the apostrophe;
l.2: "liar" should be lyre;
l.3: "heart aching" should be either hearts aching or heart-ache

[Buh4Bee]

Thanks Prince for the comments. I'm glad you like it. Don't worry, there is nothing to conceal, Mr. Jersea reads all my stuff and even gets on LitNet once in a blue moon to admire my writing!

[paperleaves]

I can feel your frustration in this piece but I can't help but chuckle. Dear jersea, you have a knack for brilliant poems such as this, it's what sets you apart from everyone else and I love it!


love
Kate

[qimissung]

boy, did you ever describe a day in the life!

[lallison]

Love it. Reminds me of "Love Calls us to the Things of This World," only your laundry still seems dirty.

I'm trying to think of something critical to say because I think it's more helpful than laudatory comments. Your images have so much meaning in them, they are wet with emotion. Maybe if you were to continue to develop your imagery and suppress the need to qualify or explain yourself, whether externally or internally, with phrases like "(other dog)," or, yes, even the asterisks, you could really open a poem like this to a harmonious chorus of meaningful interpretation.

: )

[srthesisgirl]

jersea, I am working on my college senior thesis, examining the evolution of the housewife in literature. I did a Google search and your poem came up. I would love to include it in my work, but would need the author's name. Would you feel comfortable emailing me this information so you are properly credited? Thanks.

[Buh4Bee]

Thanks for all the comments. I appreciate all the helpful suggestions.