Stillness

[paradoxical]

morning dew on the ground
geese pass over flying north,
a heavy fog covers the lake
as I push off in the kayak,
gurgling sound as I paddle

[Revolte]

I like this, throwing in the fog, to me, made the poem.

[Dark Muse]

A very lovely poem wich captures a wonderful and serene moment.

[paradoxical]

Thanks, both of you.

[lallison]

Kayaking always makes me think of Black Water in Maryland, and this place fits your description.

For a poem called stillness, it has a lot of motion. I want to see the stillness that contrasts with the birds, your boat, and the ripples across the smooth water. I'm with Revolte, the fog is the image that resonates most with me because I can't see too much else. Where are the mudflats on the bank? Where is the surrounding flora: the cattails, the grasses leaning against the water's edges?

I know there is a lot of beauty in this place, but I want you to help me to see it better.

[paradoxical]

Good point, and something I had not considered. The stillness had more to do with the stillness of the speaker's mind and the timelessness of the moment. But you're right, there is an awful lot of movement in this poem. I did not realize that. Also, I was trying to write a very short poem, similar to Japanese tanka poems. I am finding it difficult to write such short poems, however, and will probably need to add more to this. Like you said, a description of the flora and landscape would be a good thing.

[thecatwithfish]

I love the way the simplicity makes it so easy for the reader to become involved in the moment. It's possible for us to read the 'I' as ourselves and for us to extrapolate the sentiment... A lovely poem...