F1del
03-24-2010, 12:46 PM
Hello, I am a fresh member here. I am Polish, at the moment I even live in Poland. Last three hours I spent writing a short story, which I am posting below. I do not know if it is worth anything, but I have been thinking about spending some more time writing other stuff, unless someone proves me that I am wrong. The story is in English, for I prefere this language as more clear and distinct, and susceptible for different games. I can`t say that I know thatlanguage perfectly, so you might find mistakes. Say what you think about it. That`s all.
THE BAR SITUATION
That Dude in the bar, he attends it everyday. Each morning, as the sun rises, he goes there to be their first client, and the only client to drink a glass of pure honey. That is what he does, it`s like a ritual for him.
Now, the meeting worked out pretty smoothly, at the beginning. Just talking, smoking fags. The Dude was having his honey and this white Guy in a black suit took a black coffee in a white cup. Just a normal morning for one of them, and no less than a wakeup for the other. No one knew the topic. It wasn`t funny though, because it didn`t look like a meeting of some good old mates. No shoulder tapping, no hilarious conversations, interrupted only by the peals of laughter, nothing like that. On the contrary, the overwhelming silence and the atmosphere of discretion suggested that matters, that everyone was so quiet about, they mattered. Suddenly the Dude started crying. He grabbed his head with his hands, started shaking both and simply, adolescently cried. The Guy was just listening. As a matter of fact he did not say a word since a quarter at least. He didn`t react, didn`t take the effort of comforting or calming his interlocutor down. Just sat there and stared, silent. After another coffee and a fag the Guy stood up. Obviously in haste:
-Finnish your honey- he pitched, before he left.
And the Dude agreed to that.
***
The evening at the bar usually abounds with people. Not that night. In the furthest corner there was a couple sitting by the table. They didn`t seem joyful at all. They were arguing. Woman, clearly nervous was hissing at her partner, to which he replied cynically:
-He is getting suspicious, we gotta...
-Suspicious? Come on! He knew it all along. For three years. Never had any proof, that`s all.
-We`ve got to stop. For now.
-What do you mean? You`d better stop with him. Listen to me! We love each other- he grabbed her wrist, pulled her close enough, and started kissing.
The Dude entered the bar. He picked up a spot just by the entrance. He smoked a fag. It wasn`t even two minutes before the Guy arrived and the waitress with him. Guy was early. He sat oposite to the Dude:
-Coffe, make it black
-A glass of Vodka, make it full- they ordered.
The Guy started off a fag and began looking into Dude`s face as if he was gazing into the void. The Dude noticed it, clearly, so he put his head down, afraid that the vacuum would absorb him. Meanwhile the waitress brought the order.
-Do you know I have been coming here for three years now?
The Guy didn`t answer to that. The Dude stood up, he took a sip, and the whole glass was in it. Smooth, one move of the hand. His face turned swept and red. He reached with his hand, now shaking, for the wallet. The Guy objected:
-Its on me.
The Dude complied with that, and this time it was him to have left in haste.
The Guy didn`t rush at all this time. He finished off the fag, listening to the arguing lovers. He then asked the waitress for a bill, paid the due amount, complimented her with a tip. He stood up straight, reached under his jacket, and he turned his steps to the furthest corner of the bar.
The end
THE BAR SITUATION
That Dude in the bar, he attends it everyday. Each morning, as the sun rises, he goes there to be their first client, and the only client to drink a glass of pure honey. That is what he does, it`s like a ritual for him.
Now, the meeting worked out pretty smoothly, at the beginning. Just talking, smoking fags. The Dude was having his honey and this white Guy in a black suit took a black coffee in a white cup. Just a normal morning for one of them, and no less than a wakeup for the other. No one knew the topic. It wasn`t funny though, because it didn`t look like a meeting of some good old mates. No shoulder tapping, no hilarious conversations, interrupted only by the peals of laughter, nothing like that. On the contrary, the overwhelming silence and the atmosphere of discretion suggested that matters, that everyone was so quiet about, they mattered. Suddenly the Dude started crying. He grabbed his head with his hands, started shaking both and simply, adolescently cried. The Guy was just listening. As a matter of fact he did not say a word since a quarter at least. He didn`t react, didn`t take the effort of comforting or calming his interlocutor down. Just sat there and stared, silent. After another coffee and a fag the Guy stood up. Obviously in haste:
-Finnish your honey- he pitched, before he left.
And the Dude agreed to that.
***
The evening at the bar usually abounds with people. Not that night. In the furthest corner there was a couple sitting by the table. They didn`t seem joyful at all. They were arguing. Woman, clearly nervous was hissing at her partner, to which he replied cynically:
-He is getting suspicious, we gotta...
-Suspicious? Come on! He knew it all along. For three years. Never had any proof, that`s all.
-We`ve got to stop. For now.
-What do you mean? You`d better stop with him. Listen to me! We love each other- he grabbed her wrist, pulled her close enough, and started kissing.
The Dude entered the bar. He picked up a spot just by the entrance. He smoked a fag. It wasn`t even two minutes before the Guy arrived and the waitress with him. Guy was early. He sat oposite to the Dude:
-Coffe, make it black
-A glass of Vodka, make it full- they ordered.
The Guy started off a fag and began looking into Dude`s face as if he was gazing into the void. The Dude noticed it, clearly, so he put his head down, afraid that the vacuum would absorb him. Meanwhile the waitress brought the order.
-Do you know I have been coming here for three years now?
The Guy didn`t answer to that. The Dude stood up, he took a sip, and the whole glass was in it. Smooth, one move of the hand. His face turned swept and red. He reached with his hand, now shaking, for the wallet. The Guy objected:
-Its on me.
The Dude complied with that, and this time it was him to have left in haste.
The Guy didn`t rush at all this time. He finished off the fag, listening to the arguing lovers. He then asked the waitress for a bill, paid the due amount, complimented her with a tip. He stood up straight, reached under his jacket, and he turned his steps to the furthest corner of the bar.
The end