Tracid
03-24-2010, 05:48 AM
Keep in mind this is the first thing iv written
:iagree:
Now I’m going to tell you a story, nay a chronicle of unlimited wonder and awe But first there are a few things you need to know about him. Bill was his name and he wasn’t the coolest person in the world, actually he only had his best friend Fred who was merely a green garden gnome with an attitude and a figment of his imagination, and his loyal pet spwilly a half bird half monkey whom only came when bill called Bill was sick off his life for he had nothing no job, no friends, nothing. Now one day he went down to the dock to drown his sorrows but while he was drinking the dock water he smelt something fishy with a tad of blue, it turned out to be an elderly man with a wizards hat made of fish. These fish were actually wise talking fish and this grand man’s name was artichoke he was the great wizard lord of the sea, because you see there were 4 wizard lords of the magical world 1 for each element, fire, water, earth, and air. Artichoke wasn’t too happy about bill drinking his favourite part of the water, because artichoke lived under the white marble dock, ‘What the **** do you think you’re doing drinking my ****ing water you BASTERD!!! ‘he said with a mighty voice as bill fell *** over head into the dock water hitting his head on the way down “what the **** mate” Bill moaned in pain until he saw antichoke “what are you suppose to be old man” Bill laughed ‘I am artichoke the grand wizard of the sea “hahahaha” bill began laughing so hard he turned blue “your just some old man that’s obviously out of his mind” bill criticized “ I’ll show you out of your mind” The man then began to chant something bill continued to laugh until with a loud crack bill was looking up at a rather large and pissed off mushroom snake that did not take a liking to bill but look at him as something to eat bill then proceeded to **** his pants. While repeating the phrase “still as a statue” in his mind over and over he managed to mumble “Ok I believe you know please stop” and with another loud crack it vanished “I am not a lire and to question me is to question the world as you know it, now why are you drinking my home’ he said calmly ‘ Oh I’m sorry sir I was drinking my sorrows away with this fine water’ bill then proceeded to tell the wizard about all his problems and how he hated his life. The wizard offered to help him always had a weakness for the mentally retarded and he’d just smoked an ounce of magic gnome weed and was feeling rather nice. So the wizard took bill back to his grand masters house of water magic, it was filled with awsomeful kinds of things like doodwakers and fidledigers and lots of kinds of wigglescratchers witch he had no ****ing idea what they were of course. Now the wizard offered bill a job as his delivery boy for the great wizard was also a exporter of brilliant magical objects and bill was much obliged that he forgot how to breath ‘you’ll get to go all around the magical parts of the world that are unseen to the normal eye you would only know about half of the actual world’ artichoke told him ‘**** yeah ‘bill replied. You start tomorrow now get some sleep and artichoke strode off down a dark hall way into a room filled of beautiful women and shut the door and he heard him yell ‘get the rubber gloves girls’ bill decided to have a look around this place was truly a house of awe The whole palace was covered from roof to floor in this amazing Safire marble you could see you reflection in, with some sort of pearl inlayed inscription bill could not read. One room had some sort of stone portal also with inscription around the outside of it he dared not touch it so he moved on. The next room was a vast library of very old looking books bill opened one an found out the a considerable amount of them were just old porno’s, but there was one room that stood out more than any room he’d seen so far, it must of been where artichoke practiced in the magical arts, For it had a large basin that was amazingly made entirely of water and was filled with a chrome liquid, there were also lots of massive different coloured crystals floating around the room that had what looked like a bolt of electricity connecting them all that then connected to the basin it really was a site after about an hour of rooming this vast place bill eventually found his room which was totally chrome with a blue flag “what’s with this guy and chrome” bill thought “yeah its ****ing pathetic isn’t it what a loser” said Fred bills imaginary gnome “ it’s great I think” disputed bill “Yeah but you’re a ****ing loser too trust you to like it” replied Fred “Go away or ill imagine you into a quite small box” bill threatened and with that said Fred popped into nothing. Bill slipped into his bed and immediately became very drowsy it must have some sort of magical sleeping enchantment on it bill thought bill then fell into a deep slumber.
:iagree:
Now I’m going to tell you a story, nay a chronicle of unlimited wonder and awe But first there are a few things you need to know about him. Bill was his name and he wasn’t the coolest person in the world, actually he only had his best friend Fred who was merely a green garden gnome with an attitude and a figment of his imagination, and his loyal pet spwilly a half bird half monkey whom only came when bill called Bill was sick off his life for he had nothing no job, no friends, nothing. Now one day he went down to the dock to drown his sorrows but while he was drinking the dock water he smelt something fishy with a tad of blue, it turned out to be an elderly man with a wizards hat made of fish. These fish were actually wise talking fish and this grand man’s name was artichoke he was the great wizard lord of the sea, because you see there were 4 wizard lords of the magical world 1 for each element, fire, water, earth, and air. Artichoke wasn’t too happy about bill drinking his favourite part of the water, because artichoke lived under the white marble dock, ‘What the **** do you think you’re doing drinking my ****ing water you BASTERD!!! ‘he said with a mighty voice as bill fell *** over head into the dock water hitting his head on the way down “what the **** mate” Bill moaned in pain until he saw antichoke “what are you suppose to be old man” Bill laughed ‘I am artichoke the grand wizard of the sea “hahahaha” bill began laughing so hard he turned blue “your just some old man that’s obviously out of his mind” bill criticized “ I’ll show you out of your mind” The man then began to chant something bill continued to laugh until with a loud crack bill was looking up at a rather large and pissed off mushroom snake that did not take a liking to bill but look at him as something to eat bill then proceeded to **** his pants. While repeating the phrase “still as a statue” in his mind over and over he managed to mumble “Ok I believe you know please stop” and with another loud crack it vanished “I am not a lire and to question me is to question the world as you know it, now why are you drinking my home’ he said calmly ‘ Oh I’m sorry sir I was drinking my sorrows away with this fine water’ bill then proceeded to tell the wizard about all his problems and how he hated his life. The wizard offered to help him always had a weakness for the mentally retarded and he’d just smoked an ounce of magic gnome weed and was feeling rather nice. So the wizard took bill back to his grand masters house of water magic, it was filled with awsomeful kinds of things like doodwakers and fidledigers and lots of kinds of wigglescratchers witch he had no ****ing idea what they were of course. Now the wizard offered bill a job as his delivery boy for the great wizard was also a exporter of brilliant magical objects and bill was much obliged that he forgot how to breath ‘you’ll get to go all around the magical parts of the world that are unseen to the normal eye you would only know about half of the actual world’ artichoke told him ‘**** yeah ‘bill replied. You start tomorrow now get some sleep and artichoke strode off down a dark hall way into a room filled of beautiful women and shut the door and he heard him yell ‘get the rubber gloves girls’ bill decided to have a look around this place was truly a house of awe The whole palace was covered from roof to floor in this amazing Safire marble you could see you reflection in, with some sort of pearl inlayed inscription bill could not read. One room had some sort of stone portal also with inscription around the outside of it he dared not touch it so he moved on. The next room was a vast library of very old looking books bill opened one an found out the a considerable amount of them were just old porno’s, but there was one room that stood out more than any room he’d seen so far, it must of been where artichoke practiced in the magical arts, For it had a large basin that was amazingly made entirely of water and was filled with a chrome liquid, there were also lots of massive different coloured crystals floating around the room that had what looked like a bolt of electricity connecting them all that then connected to the basin it really was a site after about an hour of rooming this vast place bill eventually found his room which was totally chrome with a blue flag “what’s with this guy and chrome” bill thought “yeah its ****ing pathetic isn’t it what a loser” said Fred bills imaginary gnome “ it’s great I think” disputed bill “Yeah but you’re a ****ing loser too trust you to like it” replied Fred “Go away or ill imagine you into a quite small box” bill threatened and with that said Fred popped into nothing. Bill slipped into his bed and immediately became very drowsy it must have some sort of magical sleeping enchantment on it bill thought bill then fell into a deep slumber.