Help with analyzing my poem

[manzlol]

I'd love some feedback on my poem. Analyze it and let me know what you think its about. And whether i've used of elements of craft such as imagery, metaphor & simile, language, rhythm & sound well. Or how i can improve.
Cheers x

We can't make it.

I waited. Ecstasy anticipation. Played.

The scene over and over and over. Again. We can't make it. Not tonight.

The stairs, steep incline. A journey topples you. Heels over head over toes. We can't.

I said no. No. Again. Your toes, gnarled topple over your boorish head over everything that has been healed.

I toppled you, king. Check. Check. Mate.

And we crowned each other, congratulated each other on our own incredibility.

Good. Good. Because I said no and I dodged when you topple head over heals over toes over boorish head. Over and over and over again.

I say no always I mean yes. Catch me as you topple.

Tra la la down the garden path, onto the trye swing and we're flying again.

[Dr. Cambridge]

I'd love some feedback on my poem. I need someone to analyze it and let me know what they think its about, whether it's connecting to an audience. And whether i've used of elements of craft such as imagery, metaphor & simile, language, rhythm & sound etc.
Cheers x

We can't make it.

I waited. Ecstasy anticipation. Played.

The scene over and over and over. Again. We can't make it. Not tonight.

The stairs, steep incline. A journey topples you. Heels over head over toes. We can't.

I said no. No. Again. Your toes, gnarled topple over your boorish head over everything that has been healed.

I toppled you, king. Check. Check. Mate.

And we crowned each other, congratulated each other on our own incredibility.

Good. Good. Because I said no and I dodged when you topple head over heals over toes over boorish head. Over and over and over again.

I say no always I mean yes. Catch me as you topple.

Tra la la down the garden path, onto the trye swing and we're flying again.
This poem shouldn't be analysed just for the sake of analysis, because it belongs to a style called "stream of consciousness" which can be described as the surfacing of seemingly random thoughts which flow with no apparent purpose other than to make themselves known.

From the start there is a strong sexual overtone to this poem which cleverly introduces the complication of some sort of dysfunctional reluctance to commit to the goal symbolised by the stairs and the journey, and this is further revealed in the contradictory and conflicting desires expressed.

Criss-crossing this, and perhaps hinting at latent boredom, is the chess playing imagery suggestive of competition and gamesmanship, until orgasm is reached and we relax in the fantasies of afterglow.

This poem has therapeutic value. Keep on writing, I say. :hurray:

[PrinceMyshkin]

Beyond the patient, very apt comments of Dr. Cambridge, I have little to say. I was hesitant at first about the erratic length of the lines but came to embrace that as an intrinsic feature of the stream of consciousness that the good Dr. noted.