A Sneeze in the Dark

[PrinceMyshkin]

We make poetry out of whatever
comes to hand - a sneeze
in the dark, a sudden attack
by a long-forgotten enemy.

People are struggling to hold up
their parcels, like shoppers
after an orgy of post-Christmas purchases
when one package too many
overturns all the others
and the irate shopper
flings out.

All the world’s a target, then.
There are enemies everywhere:
Boors! Imbeciles! she flings out

but there is always one more parcel
to hurl.

[Hawkman]

My Prince,

Is it better to write poetry or walk the world equipped with a torch and a hanky?

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

My Prince,

Is it better to write poetry or walk the world equipped with a torch and a hanky?

H

I take it you felt this was less a poem than an attempt at retribution? I appreciate your (implicit) candour though I wouldn't have posted the poem if I hadn't felt it had merit as a poem.

[Hawkman]

Sorry Prince, I think you misunderstand my intent. A case, I think, of my trying to be too clever for my own good.

Perhaps I should have said that if poetry comes from a sneaze in the dark then the poem is the hanky and the torch.

Live and be well

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

Sorry Prince, I think you misunderstand my intent. A case, I think, of my trying to be too clever for my own good.

Perhaps I should have said that if poetry comes from a sneaze in the dark then the poem is the hanky and the torch.

Live and be well

H

Oh [vile expletive]! The events of the last few days have made me so raw that I almost suspect the brisk breeze outside my window of being a plot against me!

[Hawkman]

I talk to the trees, that's why they put me away, (Spike Milligan, (I think))

[PrinceMyshkin]

I talk to the trees, that's why they put me away, (Spike Milligan, (I think))

Talking to the trees is surely an act of kindness, It's when they answer you that you might begin to worry - or don't they have any good Arboreal-psychologists on your side of the pond? (I just used that latter expression to show how mid-Atlantic I am.)

[paperleaves]

Hawkman, I think we should organize a torch& hanky convention for poets everywhere. what a silly, fun idea.

On this poem..it is fantastic! The first two stanzas build you up and then the last line of the poem whips the rug out from under your feet. Powerful!

love
kate

[PrinceMyshkin]

Hawkman, I think we should organize a torch& hanky convention for poets everywhere. what a silly, fun idea.

On this poem..it is fantastic! The first two stanzas build you up and then the last line of the poem whips the rug out from under your feet. Powerful!

love
kate

Rather than whipping any rugs from under your feet, I would gladly follow the example of Sir Walter Raleigh and lay my coat down over any puddle you needed to cross!

[AuntShecky]

The minute I read this it made me think of a famous poem with these concluding two lines:

So he wanted to throw something
And he picked up a baseball.

Well, my ol' brain told me the original poet's name was Kenneth, and I thought Rexroth? Koch? Then it dawned on me it was Kenneth Patchen.

The poem, "The Origin of Baseball" appears in the New Directions paperback titled Selected Poems The home page of this website says that they have permission from the author:

http://www.bluffton.edu/courses/tlc/bandishc/bbpoems/poem12.htm

After you read it, you'll know why your sneeze poem reminded me of Kenneth's poem.

[PrinceMyshkin]

The minute I read this it made me think of a famous poem with these concluding two lines:

So he wanted to throw something
And he picked up a baseball.

Well, my ol' brain told me the original poet's name was Kenneth, and I thought Rexroth? Koch? Then it dawned on me it was Kenneth Patchen.

The poem, "The Origin of Baseball" appears in the New Directions paperback titled Selected Poems The home page of this website says that they have permission from the author:

http://www.bluffton.edu/courses/tlc/bandishc/bbpoems/poem12.htm

After you read it, you'll know why your sneeze poem reminded me of Kenneth's poem.

I'm not 100% sure why my poem reminded you of his but am grateful to you for directing me to his fine poem. I think I've read other things by him before, but need to reacquaint myself.

[Virgil]

I don't know how you come up with ideas for your poetry, but don't stop! It's amazing how you take such little things in life, and in a short number of lines create a wonderful blossomed flower. This one is wonderful. It just opens up as go further into it. Very nice.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I don't know how you come up with ideas for your poetry, but don't stop! It's amazing how you take such little things in life, and in a short number of lines create a wonderful blossomed flower. This one is wonderful. It just opens up as go further into it. Very nice.

This might sound a touch pompous or falsely modest, but the trick is, I think, that I have so much fun doing it.

[lallison]

Cute, i like art that explicitly explores the creative process. Interesting jump between a sneeze and Christmas shopping. Kind of brings up a distraught Saunta Clause persona as the narrator.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Cute, i like art that explicitly explores the creative process. Interesting jump between a sneeze and Christmas shopping. Kind of brings up a distraught Saunta Clause persona as the narrator.

Thanks, lallison.

[paperleaves]

Haha, I didn't see a distraught Santa Claus as the narrator.

What a fantastic poem, Jer, a fantastic poem indeed. You may ask, "did paper already comment on this one?" Yes, I did. But it is so incredible and your metaphor "a sneeze in the dark" just amazes me. I love it, I love it, I love it!

kate

[AuntShecky]

I'm not 100% sure why my poem reminded you of his but am grateful to you for directing me to his fine poem. I think I've read other things by him before, but need to reacquaint myself.

These lines from your poem reminded me of the concluding couplet of Kenneth P.'s poem:

. . . one package too many
overturns all the others
and the irate shopper
flings out.

All the world’s a target, then.
There are enemies everywhere:
Boors! Imbeciles! she flings out

but there is always one more parcel
to hurl.

(Hope you've "got "what I was "getting at" now.)

[PrinceMyshkin]

These lines from your poem reminded me of the concluding couplet of Kenneth P.'s poem:

. . . one package too many
overturns all the others
and the irate shopper
flings out.

All the world’s a target, then.
There are enemies everywhere:
Boors! Imbeciles! she flings out

but there is always one more parcel
to hurl.

(Hope you've "got "what I was "getting at" now.)

Yes, I did - and thank you and paper for commenting.