NTaylor15
03-13-2010, 12:27 AM
I woke with a start, but I wasn't in my bed. I tried to sit up, looking around through my groggy eyes. My surroundings were completely unfamiliar to me. It seemed to be a storehouse of some sort. I was laying on a cold, cement floor. There were mountains of wooden crates, piled high to the ceiling, looming over me. The dust-filled air was dank and chill. Motes danced in a ray of dim light that shot from a dripping hole in the roof. The light struck a heavy, wooden door at the far end of the room. I jumped up, thinking that I had found my escape rout, only to pitch forward with a cry! It wasn't until then that I realized that I had suffered a sever blow to the head. I rolled over, groaning in terrible agony.
Where am I? I wondered in a daze. I decided this time to attempt to stand slowly. Every inch of my body screamed out in protestation as I lifted my head, struggling to push myself upright with my palms on the floor. My head swirled in a wave of dizziness, and my eyesight flickered, threatening to send me back into a state of unconsciousness. Slowly, my head was shutting out the world. Horrible panic grew up inside me. Cold fear washed over me like a stream of icy water. I had no clue what would happen if I passed out again.
Focusing every shred of energy inside me, I stared intensely at the door through which I planned my escape. Another wave of sickness washed over me, but I managed to subdue the feeling. Slowly the world came back together and I braced myself as I tried to stand again. The slow, painstaking, laborious process to work myself into a standing position was so difficult that I felt that I was pushing myself up through a thick sea of jelly.
After several more failures I accomplished my feat, and got myself to a standing position. My senses, which were normally extremely average, seemed much more acute which I found very strange after having received a head injury. As such, my nose picked up an acrid odor that surely hadn't been in the room before. I couldn't make sense of anything. It seemed as if the crates that lined the walls
were changing shape and size before my eyes, but I wrote that off as a hallucination resulting from my injury.
It seems odd, but after all the effort I put forth to stand up, I barely felt tired anymore. And the pain had all but subsided. Also, somewhere along my clearly confused train of thought, I'd forgotten all about the door and my intended flight. Even as fearful as I had been before, there was a veil of mystery and intrigue falling over my panic and consternation.
The smell, that had been growing more horrible from the time I stood up, had officially piqued my curiosity. Breathing mostly through my mouth to avoid the ghastly stench, I made my way to one of the larger crates without any others stacked on top of it. I knew instantly that this was where the foul aroma was coming from. I'm not sure what made me realize so suddenly, but the smell was vaguely like that of a rotting animal.
Though I'm not normally of a very inquisitive nature, I was so full of wonder as to what was in the crate. Looking around the ware house for something to force the crate open, I spotted a crowbar laying some ten feet away that I had previously missed. I retrieved the crowbar and proceeded to open the crate in front of me. Once the side had been forced partially open, I grabbed the wood and roughly pulled the siding off. The awful smell, which had increased in intensity since I had opened the crate, sent me reeling away before I could see what was inside.
I let out my pent-up breath in a loud gasp. Suddenly, before I could even realize what was happening, the door on the other side of the room burst open with a bang as loud as a gunshot. A man, who was so tall his head seemed to scrape the ceiling, stormed into the room! I had never seen a man who had such dark hair and thick eyebrows before. He was shouting unintelligible gibberish at me that didn't seem to be in any language I'd ever heard before. By my bewildered look he seemed to realize that I had no clue what he was saying to me. Then the guttural, gravelly voice changed it's speech into words that I could understand, even through a thick, slurred accent.
“Vhat are shoo doing in my Gharden?” He shouted at me
“Excuse me?” I mumbled. “Did you ask what I was doing in your 'garden'?”
“Yes.”
“Sir, you call this a garden? It is a room full of crates!”
“Shoo 'ave not zeen vhat ees in ze crates?”
“I – I haven't. I was about to look before you came in.”
“Zen look now,” he said with a sort of pride that made me slightly uneasy.
Not wanting to take my eyes of the giant, threatening man, I inched warily over to the crate I had just opened. I was avoiding breathing through my nose at any cost, for the smell had become almost unbearably pungent. As I got closer to the opening of the crate, I began to see what was inside. It appeared to be a gigantic purple flower that was emitting the horrific stench. Several huge petals fanned delicately outwards, circling a single peak that jutted roughly up out of the center.
“What is that?”
“Eet ees a voreign plahnt. Ze smell eet mahkes ees so potent, zhat most people cannot stahnd to be near eet vor more zan a couple meenutes.”
“Then why do you raise them here? Do you like them?”
“No, no. Eet ees naht vor pleasure zhat I ahm raising zeez deespicable plahnts. I ahm raising zem to be a new mezod of war-vare. I 'ave been 'ired by my contry to breed zeez as our secreht veapon vor ze war,” he boasted in a manner that inexplicably terrified me. “But now,” he continued menacingly, “I regret zhat zere ees no pozzible vay zhat I can let you leeve. Now zhat you know vhat ve 'ave planned, I cannot let you seemply go back and tell you government vhat you 'ave seen.”
The panic that I had worked so hard to subdue was flooding back so fast that I was almost afraid that I would drown in it. I tried to see some reason in this situation, but nothing made sense. Ever since I'd woken up there was something in the back of my mind that I knew didn't quite make sense. I knew that there was something about this place that wasn't quite right. For instance, how did I get here? Someone must have brought me here. And these plants? They couldn't be real. But the smell was real enough.
“Wait a minute. We're both competent men. We can figure something out. I don't even know how I got here.”
“Do not lie to me!” he shouted angrily. “Ze General told me zhat somevon like you vould come someday. He said zhat zey vould come. Pretending to be good and innocent. He said not to believe a vord zhat anyone said to me. You cannot talk you vey out of zis.”
“Who is the General?” I asked with honest curiosity.
“'E ees ze von zhat controls zees contry. 'E 'ired me to raise zeez plahnts. Ze General ees very smart, but 'e eesn't kind. 'E ees ze vorst kind of dictator, but eef 'e ever 'eard me saying zeez thing about 'im, I vould not leeve to see any more flowers bloom.”
I thought that I could keep him talking long enough for me to start understanding what was going on, but my head was starting to throb painfully again, keeping me from many complex thoughts.
I was about to lose his attention and there was nothing I could do about it. There was nothing else I could say to make him believe that I didn't know where I was.
“Vell, I ahm sorry about zees. But you clearly are von of ze spies zhat ze General said vould come, and I have strict orders to destroy any spies. You must come wiz me.” He reached out to grab me by the arm, but I ducked quickly under his outstretched hand, and sprinted to the door as fast as I could.
As soon as I reached the door, however, I felt a large hand grab me by the neck. The giant had recovered quickly and snagged me before I could turn the door knob. I was utterly helpless. Nothing I could do would save me from my fate. The giant opened the door and walked outside into a beautiful world that, like everything else, was almost right, but something wasn't quite like it was supposed to be. Maybe it was just me, but the sky seemed a shade too blue, and the grass, perhaps, a bit too green.
Suddenly, I had a feeling like I'd seen this all before. Like I'd had this exact feeling of helplessness, but somehow, complete control. I felt that whatever happened here didn't matter in the slightest. So, when the giant stepped up to the edge of a cliff, prepared to through me off, I didn't feel
panic anymore.
As the giant dropped me off the precipice, and I plummeted through the air towards the rocky bottom below me, I had a vision of the world as it should be. As it is. And at that exact moment, I woke with a start...
But I wasn't in my bed.
Let me know what you think! This is the second draft, so if there are some typos and such, forgive me. This is a short story that I'm writing for a class I'm in. My draft is due this Monday, so any input would be good. This is my second story topic. My other one wasn't working out too well, so if you think that this is completely hopeless, please tell me so that I can start on a new idea. Also, if you have any better ideas for a title, let me know.
Where am I? I wondered in a daze. I decided this time to attempt to stand slowly. Every inch of my body screamed out in protestation as I lifted my head, struggling to push myself upright with my palms on the floor. My head swirled in a wave of dizziness, and my eyesight flickered, threatening to send me back into a state of unconsciousness. Slowly, my head was shutting out the world. Horrible panic grew up inside me. Cold fear washed over me like a stream of icy water. I had no clue what would happen if I passed out again.
Focusing every shred of energy inside me, I stared intensely at the door through which I planned my escape. Another wave of sickness washed over me, but I managed to subdue the feeling. Slowly the world came back together and I braced myself as I tried to stand again. The slow, painstaking, laborious process to work myself into a standing position was so difficult that I felt that I was pushing myself up through a thick sea of jelly.
After several more failures I accomplished my feat, and got myself to a standing position. My senses, which were normally extremely average, seemed much more acute which I found very strange after having received a head injury. As such, my nose picked up an acrid odor that surely hadn't been in the room before. I couldn't make sense of anything. It seemed as if the crates that lined the walls
were changing shape and size before my eyes, but I wrote that off as a hallucination resulting from my injury.
It seems odd, but after all the effort I put forth to stand up, I barely felt tired anymore. And the pain had all but subsided. Also, somewhere along my clearly confused train of thought, I'd forgotten all about the door and my intended flight. Even as fearful as I had been before, there was a veil of mystery and intrigue falling over my panic and consternation.
The smell, that had been growing more horrible from the time I stood up, had officially piqued my curiosity. Breathing mostly through my mouth to avoid the ghastly stench, I made my way to one of the larger crates without any others stacked on top of it. I knew instantly that this was where the foul aroma was coming from. I'm not sure what made me realize so suddenly, but the smell was vaguely like that of a rotting animal.
Though I'm not normally of a very inquisitive nature, I was so full of wonder as to what was in the crate. Looking around the ware house for something to force the crate open, I spotted a crowbar laying some ten feet away that I had previously missed. I retrieved the crowbar and proceeded to open the crate in front of me. Once the side had been forced partially open, I grabbed the wood and roughly pulled the siding off. The awful smell, which had increased in intensity since I had opened the crate, sent me reeling away before I could see what was inside.
I let out my pent-up breath in a loud gasp. Suddenly, before I could even realize what was happening, the door on the other side of the room burst open with a bang as loud as a gunshot. A man, who was so tall his head seemed to scrape the ceiling, stormed into the room! I had never seen a man who had such dark hair and thick eyebrows before. He was shouting unintelligible gibberish at me that didn't seem to be in any language I'd ever heard before. By my bewildered look he seemed to realize that I had no clue what he was saying to me. Then the guttural, gravelly voice changed it's speech into words that I could understand, even through a thick, slurred accent.
“Vhat are shoo doing in my Gharden?” He shouted at me
“Excuse me?” I mumbled. “Did you ask what I was doing in your 'garden'?”
“Yes.”
“Sir, you call this a garden? It is a room full of crates!”
“Shoo 'ave not zeen vhat ees in ze crates?”
“I – I haven't. I was about to look before you came in.”
“Zen look now,” he said with a sort of pride that made me slightly uneasy.
Not wanting to take my eyes of the giant, threatening man, I inched warily over to the crate I had just opened. I was avoiding breathing through my nose at any cost, for the smell had become almost unbearably pungent. As I got closer to the opening of the crate, I began to see what was inside. It appeared to be a gigantic purple flower that was emitting the horrific stench. Several huge petals fanned delicately outwards, circling a single peak that jutted roughly up out of the center.
“What is that?”
“Eet ees a voreign plahnt. Ze smell eet mahkes ees so potent, zhat most people cannot stahnd to be near eet vor more zan a couple meenutes.”
“Then why do you raise them here? Do you like them?”
“No, no. Eet ees naht vor pleasure zhat I ahm raising zeez deespicable plahnts. I ahm raising zem to be a new mezod of war-vare. I 'ave been 'ired by my contry to breed zeez as our secreht veapon vor ze war,” he boasted in a manner that inexplicably terrified me. “But now,” he continued menacingly, “I regret zhat zere ees no pozzible vay zhat I can let you leeve. Now zhat you know vhat ve 'ave planned, I cannot let you seemply go back and tell you government vhat you 'ave seen.”
The panic that I had worked so hard to subdue was flooding back so fast that I was almost afraid that I would drown in it. I tried to see some reason in this situation, but nothing made sense. Ever since I'd woken up there was something in the back of my mind that I knew didn't quite make sense. I knew that there was something about this place that wasn't quite right. For instance, how did I get here? Someone must have brought me here. And these plants? They couldn't be real. But the smell was real enough.
“Wait a minute. We're both competent men. We can figure something out. I don't even know how I got here.”
“Do not lie to me!” he shouted angrily. “Ze General told me zhat somevon like you vould come someday. He said zhat zey vould come. Pretending to be good and innocent. He said not to believe a vord zhat anyone said to me. You cannot talk you vey out of zis.”
“Who is the General?” I asked with honest curiosity.
“'E ees ze von zhat controls zees contry. 'E 'ired me to raise zeez plahnts. Ze General ees very smart, but 'e eesn't kind. 'E ees ze vorst kind of dictator, but eef 'e ever 'eard me saying zeez thing about 'im, I vould not leeve to see any more flowers bloom.”
I thought that I could keep him talking long enough for me to start understanding what was going on, but my head was starting to throb painfully again, keeping me from many complex thoughts.
I was about to lose his attention and there was nothing I could do about it. There was nothing else I could say to make him believe that I didn't know where I was.
“Vell, I ahm sorry about zees. But you clearly are von of ze spies zhat ze General said vould come, and I have strict orders to destroy any spies. You must come wiz me.” He reached out to grab me by the arm, but I ducked quickly under his outstretched hand, and sprinted to the door as fast as I could.
As soon as I reached the door, however, I felt a large hand grab me by the neck. The giant had recovered quickly and snagged me before I could turn the door knob. I was utterly helpless. Nothing I could do would save me from my fate. The giant opened the door and walked outside into a beautiful world that, like everything else, was almost right, but something wasn't quite like it was supposed to be. Maybe it was just me, but the sky seemed a shade too blue, and the grass, perhaps, a bit too green.
Suddenly, I had a feeling like I'd seen this all before. Like I'd had this exact feeling of helplessness, but somehow, complete control. I felt that whatever happened here didn't matter in the slightest. So, when the giant stepped up to the edge of a cliff, prepared to through me off, I didn't feel
panic anymore.
As the giant dropped me off the precipice, and I plummeted through the air towards the rocky bottom below me, I had a vision of the world as it should be. As it is. And at that exact moment, I woke with a start...
But I wasn't in my bed.
Let me know what you think! This is the second draft, so if there are some typos and such, forgive me. This is a short story that I'm writing for a class I'm in. My draft is due this Monday, so any input would be good. This is my second story topic. My other one wasn't working out too well, so if you think that this is completely hopeless, please tell me so that I can start on a new idea. Also, if you have any better ideas for a title, let me know.