Biggus
03-12-2010, 12:23 PM
IT’S NOT OVER
We left the stadium after awhile
Exiting though the open turnstiles
To find inappropriately clad in licra
And standing on top of a Micra
A very fat woman singing opera
From on top of that poor little car
When I heard a laugh from my lad
Who then said “It’s all over then Dad”
AGEING POPULATION
In the future, maybe forty years or so
The nursing homes will just overflow
With sweet little silver haired old biddies
Doting on their numerous little grand kiddies
As they sit peering thru bifocal glasses
With faded tattoos on their wrinkled arses
PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE
I have three teenage sons
With appetites like men
And it costs a fortune
Feeding all of them
But due to the economy
Times are hard you see
So as they eat like men
At dinner time I told them
“Due to the current recession
Which may lead to a depression
Tough times are ahead you know
So we will have to let you all go"
BOILER REPLACEMENT SCHEME
I’m very disappointed with the government
And their gas boiler replacement scheme
I called the Gas Company about my “old boiler”
But my wife wasn’t what they had in mind it seems
FILM CHOICE
How too choose, how to select
A film to fill that two hour slot
The bumph will big it up
Over egg the pudding like as not
So I look for key word like
“Thought provoking” or “moody”
“Poignant, “Critically acclaimed”
Or “Stunning cinematography”
And when I’ve identified them
I know they are the ones to miss
And I get the one with the cover picture
Of a girl in a state of undress
SHAMELESS
There appears to be no shame
In our modern society
This is true for all walks of life
But in particular celebrities
Because what was once shame
Is now just called publicity
LASTING IMPRESSIONS
Those with personality
Find it can open doors for them
But what they need is character
To keep the doors open
We left the stadium after awhile
Exiting though the open turnstiles
To find inappropriately clad in licra
And standing on top of a Micra
A very fat woman singing opera
From on top of that poor little car
When I heard a laugh from my lad
Who then said “It’s all over then Dad”
AGEING POPULATION
In the future, maybe forty years or so
The nursing homes will just overflow
With sweet little silver haired old biddies
Doting on their numerous little grand kiddies
As they sit peering thru bifocal glasses
With faded tattoos on their wrinkled arses
PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE
I have three teenage sons
With appetites like men
And it costs a fortune
Feeding all of them
But due to the economy
Times are hard you see
So as they eat like men
At dinner time I told them
“Due to the current recession
Which may lead to a depression
Tough times are ahead you know
So we will have to let you all go"
BOILER REPLACEMENT SCHEME
I’m very disappointed with the government
And their gas boiler replacement scheme
I called the Gas Company about my “old boiler”
But my wife wasn’t what they had in mind it seems
FILM CHOICE
How too choose, how to select
A film to fill that two hour slot
The bumph will big it up
Over egg the pudding like as not
So I look for key word like
“Thought provoking” or “moody”
“Poignant, “Critically acclaimed”
Or “Stunning cinematography”
And when I’ve identified them
I know they are the ones to miss
And I get the one with the cover picture
Of a girl in a state of undress
SHAMELESS
There appears to be no shame
In our modern society
This is true for all walks of life
But in particular celebrities
Because what was once shame
Is now just called publicity
LASTING IMPRESSIONS
Those with personality
Find it can open doors for them
But what they need is character
To keep the doors open