Soundless Words

[Dark Muse]

Soundless Words

My words are
most profound
when they fall
without sound.

Voiceless they
fall in drips
of burnt offerings
sliding along
brass candlesticks.

Stilled wax
which cools as soon
as it makes contact
upon living flesh
but memories remain
of the sudden sting.

Yet I do not speak
all these vowels
and consonants
are writ upon
dandelion seeds
blowing in the wind.

And they will grow
where they may land
into towers of
resistance.

The echoes are
something meant
to be felt within
the soul not
heard externally.

So beware
for my words
may vibrate
against your bones.

[Bar22do]

Dark, I like your poem, unpretentious (and yes - my best words too are those that never used the sound or were clothed with letters!) Dandelion seeds are for sure privileged to spread yours! I think if you could do without the third stanza and the one before the last, your poem would be more tight and more powerful, though. Of course IMHO only. But on the whole, it was a pleasure to read, so thanks!

[Hawkman]

Hi Muse. I'm inclined to echo Bar with his assessment. Those two stanzas are digressions from the primary stream of thought and are detrimentally mixing your metaphores.

I do like it though.

Live and be well - H

[Dark Muse]

Thank you for your comments, I can see your point regarding the two stanzas in question, though I did have my personal reasons for including them.

The 3rd stanza connects to the allusion of candles in the stanza above and was meant as a way of expressing the power of words, the way in which while they don't physically hurt us, the pain or impression they can cause will still have a lasting effect.

The 2nd to last stanza is perhaps a bit more elusive though it was intended to act as a transition to the last stanza and the vibrations of the bones. It has to do with my own perceptions of words and the way in which sometimes I "feel" words more than hear or simply read them.