plain view

[firefox]

Everything old is new again
With a swipe of my brush
A scribble of my pen

As I embark I must say
Something takes hold today

It’s in the air thick as soup
If I could grasp it
Layers of colored goop

Trap it on my canvas new
Exposes my soul view

There it is, it’s appearing clear
Translucent lines and curves
Squinting eyes, as I near

Searching for that voice unheard
It’s lurking as I gird

My heart, my breath stuck in my chest
Discovery of what’s found
What’s hidden, what’s my best

[~Sophia~]

Hi firefox! Welcome to Litnet. I paint too so I get it but, I think this would be a much better poem if you weren't trying to force the rhymes. It's like painting with Payne's Grey when what you really wanted to use was Prussian blue. Cheers!

[Bar22do]

An artist in search of adequacy and wholeness... the subject is noble, but I too must agree with Sophia that if you could drop the rhymes and just flow with the inner rhythm of the message, it would make a more genuine poem. But I did enjoy reading you anyway. Thanks.

[Buh4Bee]

I have to say I think it is a god try. There are a number of poets on the form who attempt to use specific structure and meter. I think you should keeping trying and that this piece is not a bad attempt at a decent poem.

You'd be surprised what happens when you read your poetry to people that are not poets.