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lokariototal
03-02-2010, 11:57 PM
I want to change my paradigms and my life. I'm beginning to hate my paradigms about love. Im in the "I wanna be a player and be a don juan and get many chicks and sex" phase. I want to change my paradigm. I want a book that teaches me about true love. A book that changes my perspective, I want to have meaningful relationships, I don't want to live a superficial life, I want to change! I want a book that enlightens me. For example, I remember I used to be like "Why should I live my life for others? One should only live for himself!" but after I read the biographies of great men of history I changed my paradigm. I want to have a different paradigm about love and the value of having real relationships, a book that convinces me! What book can you recommend me?

thanks!!!!

Nax
03-03-2010, 01:25 AM
w
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F
?


On a more serious note, there are limitless posibilities in regards to romance in literature, the key here is to find something that already interests you in literary genres, then find one with romance in it. Like if you like history, something like "Pride and Prejudice", or "The Great Gatsby" (not generally considered about love, but has many interesting realities about thus).

But at the end of the day it doesnt matter what book you read, change comes from within, and though you may be inspired by what you see on the pages of a book, its the heart that you need to think about and change. Focus on the person you want instead of wanting everyone if you want to get out of the player stage.

Trust me, the grass isnt greener on any side of the fence, its how you water it and tend it that makes it grow bigger and healthier then any other lawn in the neighbourhood.

TurquoiseSunset
03-03-2010, 02:24 AM
Trust me, the grass isnt greener on any side of the fence, its how you water it and tend it that makes it grow bigger and healthier then any other lawn in the neighbourhood.

I love that...it's very true.

lokariototal - ignore ktr, he's just out to ruffle a few feathers :D

Nax
03-03-2010, 02:41 AM
Glad you liked it turquoise, feel free to quote me on it....but not till I coin it haha

victorianfan
03-05-2010, 01:51 PM
Try "Far from Madding Crowd" by Thomas Hardy.

pooteeweet
03-05-2010, 09:38 PM
This is not meant as an insult, but I think Nicholas Sparks is right up your alley…to narrow it down further, checkout: A Walk to Remember.

janesmith
03-09-2010, 02:44 PM
You could try "Possession" - A.S.Byatt or most of Hardy's novels deal with human relationships.

jadrianne
03-09-2010, 02:50 PM
,,Possession" and ,,Tess of the d'Urbervilles".

estelwen
03-09-2010, 02:58 PM
victorianfan, I was just going to recommend "Far From the Madding Crowd"! That's awesome.

Also, "The Keys of the Kingdom" by A.J. Cronin. This book changed my life. It is still my favorite of all time.

kiki1982
03-09-2010, 03:07 PM
Cyrano de Bergerac? There are some pretty poignant ideas in that and it is only a play so it is quite short although as a play it is quite long.

I agree with Far from the Madding Crowd, although I can't see where Tess would come in apart from the end.

jadrianne
03-09-2010, 03:20 PM
then you assume that poor Tess doesn't love Angel Clare, right?

Another one: The Sorrows of young Werther by Goethe .

kiki1982
03-09-2010, 03:37 PM
Nono, of course she loves him, but it's not really what the book is about, though.

Far from the Madding Crowd is more centered on that theme than Tess. Although Tess can be read that way no doubt, it is a little bit of a sad story that will only teach the original poster that there is nothing like it. Is that what we want?

I thought he was looking for something more positive which he could learn from.

jadrianne
03-09-2010, 03:45 PM
then:

Wuthering Heights

Jane Eyre

One hundred years of solitude

Love in the time of cholera

kiki1982
03-09-2010, 04:09 PM
Wuthering Heights

Jane Eyre


:lol:

I didn't want to be too cliché, but I'll have to agree, though Wuthering Heights is really scary... I wouldn't want to be subject to such love.

Maybe Saramago's The Siege of Lisbon? A very touching story about the passion of an older man.

You could of course read also the ultimate English one: Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare.

Oh! Dumas's The Black Tulip. That is about love. Really touching novella about 17th century Holland.

And if you are really sentimental, you can refer back to Austen and read Persuasion, a story about two old lovers who lost each other long ago... Particularly the end is wonderful, but you need to really love Austen for her slow stories where nothing happens, but in which you are still interested. Strange that, incomprehensible. Their world must have been so tedious, but she manages to keep it interesting. I have often wondered why, bt I haven't been able to see it yet. :smash:

jadrianne
03-09-2010, 04:13 PM
Ruy Blas?:)

kiki1982
03-09-2010, 04:21 PM
Sorry, haven't read/seen that one. :)

jadrianne
03-09-2010, 04:25 PM
victor hugo.

anna karenina

myrna22
03-12-2010, 01:57 AM
I want to change my paradigms and my life. I'm beginning to hate my paradigms about love. Im in the "I wanna be a player and be a don juan and get many chicks and sex" phase. I want to change my paradigm. I want a book that teaches me about true love. A book that changes my perspective, I want to have meaningful relationships, I don't want to live a superficial life, I want to change! I want a book that enlightens me. For example, I remember I used to be like "Why should I live my life for others? One should only live for himself!" but after I read the biographies of great men of history I changed my paradigm. I want to have a different paradigm about love and the value of having real relationships, a book that convinces me! What book can you recommend me?

thanks!!!!

THE UNBEARBLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING, Milan Kundera

This is exactly what you are looking for, I think, especially as you are concerned with paradigms. Google it: you'll see what I mean.

Babak Movahed
03-19-2010, 03:15 PM
Dude I don't even know you but just by reading what you said I already know that no book is going to make you understand or find love, you might as well go waste your time and read The Notebook or Dear John because it seems as though that is the sort of bull**** you're looking for.

*Classic*Charm*
03-19-2010, 11:56 PM
If you know how you are and how you want to be, why do you need a book to reinforce that that is how you should be? The fact that you want to change means that your paradigms have already shifted. Now go live.

I don't see how reading a book about a fictional love is going to make you live differently. The fact that you want to live differently should be enough.

That being said, East of Eden offers a few interesting perspectives on love.