To a false Siren

[Pryderi Agni]

It's my first time posting one of my own works here, so please be kind and read it!

I weep tears of blood,
Asking myself:
Why did you leave me?
Why, why, why, why?
...No matter, never mind.
I do not want to know.
I shall imagine myself
still in your now-cold arms.
I shall kiss your porcelain lips
as they poison me to oblivion.
I shall still steer my way to you
as you, Siren-like, sing me
To shipwreck on the rocks.

(This poem was cross-posted to my blog (http://whyabearatemyparents.blogspot.com/2010/02/to-false-siren.html).)

[Revolte]

"I shall kiss your porcelain lips
as they poison me to oblivion."

great lines! I liked this poem alot

[paperleaves]

The opening seemed a little bit contrived, but the allusion in the last three lines was great.


good work, keep posting!
love
paper

[PrinceMyshkin]

There's a gracefulness throughout this, spontaneity or the appearance of it. Well done!

[NisreenS]

Good poem , but I think that "Tears of blood" is not poetic as there is nothing new about it compared to the last 6 lines which I think can be a better beginning of the poem because they suggest that a loved one has abandoned the speaker, and there is no need for the questions in the first three lines. Poetry does not tell things directly. Its about images and i thing youre images in the last lines are great. Good luck.

[Pryderi Agni]

Wow, thanks for the comments!

Actually, I was kinda worried about the beginning, because even to me it seemed as if I was being too direct. But this poem pretty much came out of my raw feelings for my ex, who left me quite recently, so I hesitated to change anything.

[firefox]

I enjoyed this passionate sincere lament-thanks