Dying of the light

[Biggus]

On the table
The candle sputters
Flame flickers
Almost guttering
But does not die

At the table
A heart yearns
Tears form
As hope fades
She cries inside

At the table
A rhetorically thought
He’s not coming
How cruel
She dies inside

At home
Her heart aches
Her spirit breaks
She drains the glass
And she dies

[PrinceMyshkin]

You've shorn this of every possible ornamentation and left us nothing but these bare, bleak bones. What authority there is in this!

[MorpheusSandman]

Oooh, what a powerful piece. Incredibly affecting in its spareness. About the only suggestion I might offer is you might find a way to make it even more elliptical and suggestive. I'd try to make the connections between the lines as loose/ambiguous as possible. Well, maybe ambiguous is the wrong word. But what I mean is use a mode similar to Haikus where the lines don't superficially seem to connect to each other but they do connect strongly on an emotional/aesthetic level.

[Biggus]

Thank you both