Revolte
02-21-2010, 06:04 AM
This was my first short story I wrote a couple years back, there are a couple things I want to do to make it better but either way.
“ Jane's Revolution “
The night was in the mists of a revolution when I saw her, the goddess with the burning eyes. She walked triumphantly out of the smoking Wall Mart and waved the pink and black flag high in the air. Her faced was masked but I could make out her shining green eyes and I fell in love.
I slowly approached her with trembling knees. I could not think of a thing to say to the one who strikes within me greater passion then the revolution itself. I was only a foot away now and I could smell the sweat off her body. What was I supposed to say? Should I have said anything?
“ Hello “ I said to her “My name is Blue”. She just stared at me with confusion. Feeling like I made a fool of myself I turned to walk away. “My name is Jane” she said nervously. We locked eyes and talked for hours outside the burning building, not paying any attention to the hundreds of people walking around us. We talked about our passions and our desires, what we wanted after the revolution and why we wanted it. It seemed that nothing could have been better then this.
Jane and I walked to a local shelter and I went to rest as she laid in the bed next to me humming silently. I had a dream that night, of me and the goddess with the burning eyes. I dreamed of Jane and I walking through the new world and kissing in the sunlight, finally free. The perfect wind blew, complimenting her hair as she rested her head on my shoulder. Time around us stood still and our hearts would beat in perfect unison. I never had a dream of such beauty.
I was awoken by sirens that morning, sirens from them, the bastards we where at war with. A man covered in blood ran into the shelter “ They have come with hundreds of armed men! They are shooting the women and children and forcing their spouses to watch! They almost killed me, we must leave now!” he screamed.
Jane looked at me as if it was the last time we would see each other “Jane lets go, we can leave together and live to fight another day.” I said nervously fearing her reply “ No. We must fight today, our revolution cannot end now” she replied. A single tear fell from my eye “Jane please, we wont stand a chance there are too many of them! Can you not hear our comrades screaming? They are dying Jane!” I said now trembling “ I would rather die on my feet then live on my knees, I love you Blue” she said proudly and nervously. I kissed her like it was the first time I have ever felt a kiss and I looked into her eyes harder then ever before “I will not leave your side Jane, I see now that no battle is worth fighting without love and I love you. I love you more then revolution itself I would give up freedom to hold you but I will not give you up for freedom” I said.
Jane stood to her proud feet and took my hand. We masked our faces, put on our dark black sunglasses and ran to the streets.
The streets where covered in blood. The riot squads, the police and the army where where all there murdering our friends one by one. Jane and I took off together towards the bastards with grenades in our hands. We ran through gun fire and bombs blowing, we ran through fire and smoke, we ran over our dead comrades, here and there tripping over their body's.
Jane lifted her arm to throw her grenade into their crowd and the gun went off. I saw her fall to the floor covered in her own blood. There was an explosion and a blinding light that seemed to toss me to the ground. Her grenade went off. I sat their for a second in shock of what had happened. All Jane wanted was to be free, and the price for that gift was her life.
I stood to my feet and I looked my enemies in the eyes. “ You can take her body away but the Goddess with the burning eyes will never die! Her name was Jane! Her revolution will not stop at her death! This is the end!” I shouted with passion in my trembling voice as tears showered from my eyes. I lifted my grenade and I ran towards the bastards. I dodged their bullets and jumped into their crowd. The grenade went off.
“ Jane's Revolution “
The night was in the mists of a revolution when I saw her, the goddess with the burning eyes. She walked triumphantly out of the smoking Wall Mart and waved the pink and black flag high in the air. Her faced was masked but I could make out her shining green eyes and I fell in love.
I slowly approached her with trembling knees. I could not think of a thing to say to the one who strikes within me greater passion then the revolution itself. I was only a foot away now and I could smell the sweat off her body. What was I supposed to say? Should I have said anything?
“ Hello “ I said to her “My name is Blue”. She just stared at me with confusion. Feeling like I made a fool of myself I turned to walk away. “My name is Jane” she said nervously. We locked eyes and talked for hours outside the burning building, not paying any attention to the hundreds of people walking around us. We talked about our passions and our desires, what we wanted after the revolution and why we wanted it. It seemed that nothing could have been better then this.
Jane and I walked to a local shelter and I went to rest as she laid in the bed next to me humming silently. I had a dream that night, of me and the goddess with the burning eyes. I dreamed of Jane and I walking through the new world and kissing in the sunlight, finally free. The perfect wind blew, complimenting her hair as she rested her head on my shoulder. Time around us stood still and our hearts would beat in perfect unison. I never had a dream of such beauty.
I was awoken by sirens that morning, sirens from them, the bastards we where at war with. A man covered in blood ran into the shelter “ They have come with hundreds of armed men! They are shooting the women and children and forcing their spouses to watch! They almost killed me, we must leave now!” he screamed.
Jane looked at me as if it was the last time we would see each other “Jane lets go, we can leave together and live to fight another day.” I said nervously fearing her reply “ No. We must fight today, our revolution cannot end now” she replied. A single tear fell from my eye “Jane please, we wont stand a chance there are too many of them! Can you not hear our comrades screaming? They are dying Jane!” I said now trembling “ I would rather die on my feet then live on my knees, I love you Blue” she said proudly and nervously. I kissed her like it was the first time I have ever felt a kiss and I looked into her eyes harder then ever before “I will not leave your side Jane, I see now that no battle is worth fighting without love and I love you. I love you more then revolution itself I would give up freedom to hold you but I will not give you up for freedom” I said.
Jane stood to her proud feet and took my hand. We masked our faces, put on our dark black sunglasses and ran to the streets.
The streets where covered in blood. The riot squads, the police and the army where where all there murdering our friends one by one. Jane and I took off together towards the bastards with grenades in our hands. We ran through gun fire and bombs blowing, we ran through fire and smoke, we ran over our dead comrades, here and there tripping over their body's.
Jane lifted her arm to throw her grenade into their crowd and the gun went off. I saw her fall to the floor covered in her own blood. There was an explosion and a blinding light that seemed to toss me to the ground. Her grenade went off. I sat their for a second in shock of what had happened. All Jane wanted was to be free, and the price for that gift was her life.
I stood to my feet and I looked my enemies in the eyes. “ You can take her body away but the Goddess with the burning eyes will never die! Her name was Jane! Her revolution will not stop at her death! This is the end!” I shouted with passion in my trembling voice as tears showered from my eyes. I lifted my grenade and I ran towards the bastards. I dodged their bullets and jumped into their crowd. The grenade went off.