Boogiedown
02-18-2010, 02:52 PM
Hey, this is one of the first stories I've written. It's short and i know it's not the greatest, but feedback would be appreciated. Thanks!
Brian walked into his living room. Sitting on the sofa was a set of silver spoons. The spoons ranged in size, and many had intricate engravings on the handles. He sat down on the couch and picked on up, admiring it. The sunlight from the window shined off it, and he smiled. He looked down at the spoons again, and realized something was wrong. A spoon was missing. Had anyone been over today? He pondered in him mind. No one had of course. No one had been over to visit him in what seemed like months, although it was probably only a few weeks. Brian was no longer smiling. So where could the spoon be? He looked over at his lazy grey cat lying under the window, sound asleep. She had never touched his spoons before, and he highly doubted she would start to now.
He walked out of the room and into the kitchen. He poured a cup of coffee and brought it back to his living room. He sat on the sofa and took a sip of the warm coffee, thinking. When he looked down again he saw the spoon sitting there, just as magnificent as he had remembered. He picked it up, looked at it and just about choked on his coffee. Was he losing his mind? Was someone playing tricks on him?
“Hello?” he shouted, as he looked around the room. His cat raised its head, turned to look at him and went back to her nap. He heard something in the kitchen and got up suddenly. He shuffled over quickly as he could and turned the corner. One of the chairs was pulled out of place. His chairs were always perfect. Everything in his house was always perfect. He may not be able to control his health, but the house was a different story. If someone was trying to mess up his house, they would have to answer to him.
Brian walked over and pushed the chair back in. He let out a sigh. This was more of an annoyance then anything. He turned around, and was about to ask if anyone was there, when suddenly something smashed in his living room.
“What are you doing? Who’s there?” he murmured, getting angrier each second. He saw that they had broken his favourite vase. It lay shattered in pieces on the floor. The cat was nowhere to be seen. “What the...” he started, and then saw something out of the corner of his eye. As he turned to look, he felt a pain in the back of his head. Then everything went black.
When Brian awoke, he was laying on the bathroom floor. He saw blood in the sink, and stood up as fast as he could. He looked in and couldn’t believe what he saw. His beloved cat lay there, in a heap. It was just a small bundle of blood and fur. He felt a tear drop roll down his cheek. He brought his hand up to his face to brush it away, and noticed something strange about his hands. They were covered in blood.
Had he done this to the cat? No he couldn’t have, he thought. He loved this cat more than anything else in the world. Who had done this to him? What was going on? He stepped outside of the bathroom and into his hallway. Bloody handprints littered the walls. He stared at them in shock and made his way down towards the end of the hall. When he turned the corner to face the large window that led to the street, there was no window. Broken glass stained the ground beneath him, and he noticed that it was cutting his feet.
Making his way back to the middle of the hallway, he sat down on the floor, and everything went black again.
When he awoke he was in a hospital. He looked around but there was too much to process all at once. Sharp needles stuck in his arm. A mask was over his face, providing oxygen. An uncomfortable gown was tied around him. Machines showed lines jotting this way and that, going up and down. Beeps were heard, people talking, and televisions could be head. He tried to bring his arm up, but he was handcuffed to the bed. He struggled a minute with it, and then someone approached him.
The male wore no clothing. His pale white body did not have any shoes, pants, shirt or underwear. He looked him up and down and realized there was something even more strange about him. On his head was a gasmask, and his breathing could be heard through it. In his one hand he held a scalpel, and he approached Brian, and took hold of his robe. He took the scalpel and cut the small band holding the robe in place on his body, and then he removed the robe. Brian’s nude body lay there, out in the open. He opened his mouth to scream, but couldn’t. Confused, he felt his lips with his tongue. To his horror he realized that his mouth was sewn shut. The more he tried to open it, the more pain he felt. This did not seem to matter though, because suddenly near his stomach immense pain formed. He looked down, and saw a long precise incision. He tried to scream again, but couldn’t open his mouth, although he started to taste copper. This was the taste of blood, something that had long become unfamiliar to him since he stayed in his house all day and night. The man in the mask stretched the cut open, and clipped it to keep it from closing. Brian saw his insides and immediately felt wheezy. The pain was unbearable, but the worst was yet to come. He saw the man make a series of cuts, remove pieces of tissue, flesh and other parts of his body. He replaced them with strange objects. They almost looked like parts of the human body, but for some reason they didn’t. They looked almost mechanical. After a couple minutes of this, the man released the clips and stitched up the cut. He got up and walked away, without saying a thing. Brian then again passed out.
This time when he awoke, he wore nicely ironed khaki pants, and an old sweater. It was blue and red with white diamonds on it. Strings were sticking out all over it from fraying. He looked up and noticed a television on in front of it. A man was spinning and wheel, hoping to win something. Wheel of Fortune Brian thought to himself. When he looked around him, he noticed many other men and women around, dressed in the same fashion as him. They all stared blankly at the television, not paying attention to anything else. He looked back and saw two nurses, one pointed at him, whispered and the other immediately left the room. Brian tried to get up, but the other nurse came and starting talking to him.
“How are you feeling? What can I get you?” she kept asking trivial questions that he could tell she couldn’t care less about. He tried to get up again and she put a hand on his shoulder, pushing him down. “Where am I?” he asked, to no response.
The other nurse entered the room with a syringe. Brian tried to struggle but both nurses held him down as she put the needle into his arm. He felt a slight pain, following by a numbing feeling. Then everything started to get a little slower. Just a little bit, not too much. He felt lazy, and unmotivated. He looked up at the nurse and couldn’t tell if he’d seen her before. In fact at this point, Brian had no clue who he was either. Looking straight ahead, he saw a television. On it, a man was spinning a wheel, hoping to win something. Intriguing he thought, and stared ahead intently. He didn’t think, only watched the television, loving every second of it. The two nurses walked back to the end of the room and stood there in silence.
Brian walked into his living room. Sitting on the sofa was a set of silver spoons. The spoons ranged in size, and many had intricate engravings on the handles. He sat down on the couch and picked on up, admiring it. The sunlight from the window shined off it, and he smiled. He looked down at the spoons again, and realized something was wrong. A spoon was missing. Had anyone been over today? He pondered in him mind. No one had of course. No one had been over to visit him in what seemed like months, although it was probably only a few weeks. Brian was no longer smiling. So where could the spoon be? He looked over at his lazy grey cat lying under the window, sound asleep. She had never touched his spoons before, and he highly doubted she would start to now.
He walked out of the room and into the kitchen. He poured a cup of coffee and brought it back to his living room. He sat on the sofa and took a sip of the warm coffee, thinking. When he looked down again he saw the spoon sitting there, just as magnificent as he had remembered. He picked it up, looked at it and just about choked on his coffee. Was he losing his mind? Was someone playing tricks on him?
“Hello?” he shouted, as he looked around the room. His cat raised its head, turned to look at him and went back to her nap. He heard something in the kitchen and got up suddenly. He shuffled over quickly as he could and turned the corner. One of the chairs was pulled out of place. His chairs were always perfect. Everything in his house was always perfect. He may not be able to control his health, but the house was a different story. If someone was trying to mess up his house, they would have to answer to him.
Brian walked over and pushed the chair back in. He let out a sigh. This was more of an annoyance then anything. He turned around, and was about to ask if anyone was there, when suddenly something smashed in his living room.
“What are you doing? Who’s there?” he murmured, getting angrier each second. He saw that they had broken his favourite vase. It lay shattered in pieces on the floor. The cat was nowhere to be seen. “What the...” he started, and then saw something out of the corner of his eye. As he turned to look, he felt a pain in the back of his head. Then everything went black.
When Brian awoke, he was laying on the bathroom floor. He saw blood in the sink, and stood up as fast as he could. He looked in and couldn’t believe what he saw. His beloved cat lay there, in a heap. It was just a small bundle of blood and fur. He felt a tear drop roll down his cheek. He brought his hand up to his face to brush it away, and noticed something strange about his hands. They were covered in blood.
Had he done this to the cat? No he couldn’t have, he thought. He loved this cat more than anything else in the world. Who had done this to him? What was going on? He stepped outside of the bathroom and into his hallway. Bloody handprints littered the walls. He stared at them in shock and made his way down towards the end of the hall. When he turned the corner to face the large window that led to the street, there was no window. Broken glass stained the ground beneath him, and he noticed that it was cutting his feet.
Making his way back to the middle of the hallway, he sat down on the floor, and everything went black again.
When he awoke he was in a hospital. He looked around but there was too much to process all at once. Sharp needles stuck in his arm. A mask was over his face, providing oxygen. An uncomfortable gown was tied around him. Machines showed lines jotting this way and that, going up and down. Beeps were heard, people talking, and televisions could be head. He tried to bring his arm up, but he was handcuffed to the bed. He struggled a minute with it, and then someone approached him.
The male wore no clothing. His pale white body did not have any shoes, pants, shirt or underwear. He looked him up and down and realized there was something even more strange about him. On his head was a gasmask, and his breathing could be heard through it. In his one hand he held a scalpel, and he approached Brian, and took hold of his robe. He took the scalpel and cut the small band holding the robe in place on his body, and then he removed the robe. Brian’s nude body lay there, out in the open. He opened his mouth to scream, but couldn’t. Confused, he felt his lips with his tongue. To his horror he realized that his mouth was sewn shut. The more he tried to open it, the more pain he felt. This did not seem to matter though, because suddenly near his stomach immense pain formed. He looked down, and saw a long precise incision. He tried to scream again, but couldn’t open his mouth, although he started to taste copper. This was the taste of blood, something that had long become unfamiliar to him since he stayed in his house all day and night. The man in the mask stretched the cut open, and clipped it to keep it from closing. Brian saw his insides and immediately felt wheezy. The pain was unbearable, but the worst was yet to come. He saw the man make a series of cuts, remove pieces of tissue, flesh and other parts of his body. He replaced them with strange objects. They almost looked like parts of the human body, but for some reason they didn’t. They looked almost mechanical. After a couple minutes of this, the man released the clips and stitched up the cut. He got up and walked away, without saying a thing. Brian then again passed out.
This time when he awoke, he wore nicely ironed khaki pants, and an old sweater. It was blue and red with white diamonds on it. Strings were sticking out all over it from fraying. He looked up and noticed a television on in front of it. A man was spinning and wheel, hoping to win something. Wheel of Fortune Brian thought to himself. When he looked around him, he noticed many other men and women around, dressed in the same fashion as him. They all stared blankly at the television, not paying attention to anything else. He looked back and saw two nurses, one pointed at him, whispered and the other immediately left the room. Brian tried to get up, but the other nurse came and starting talking to him.
“How are you feeling? What can I get you?” she kept asking trivial questions that he could tell she couldn’t care less about. He tried to get up again and she put a hand on his shoulder, pushing him down. “Where am I?” he asked, to no response.
The other nurse entered the room with a syringe. Brian tried to struggle but both nurses held him down as she put the needle into his arm. He felt a slight pain, following by a numbing feeling. Then everything started to get a little slower. Just a little bit, not too much. He felt lazy, and unmotivated. He looked up at the nurse and couldn’t tell if he’d seen her before. In fact at this point, Brian had no clue who he was either. Looking straight ahead, he saw a television. On it, a man was spinning a wheel, hoping to win something. Intriguing he thought, and stared ahead intently. He didn’t think, only watched the television, loving every second of it. The two nurses walked back to the end of the room and stood there in silence.