Rain-Dance

[PeachesPieces]

Hey, here's a goofy little poem that i wrote just now, if y'all could take some time to give me some comments.

Rain-Dance
A drip and a drop, and a penny in my pocket
Pondering the rain, as I walk along the dock
Whence they came, where they fall, do I slip up on the wall
A simple trip, to end the day, “c’est la vie” or so they say

A rip, and a tear, a torn pair of underwear
Another patch, made from scratch, a storm drips into my hair
Still I dance, in sodden rags, all my drawings safe in bags
Off I go, down the street, a song still tapping in my feet

-Peaches-

[PrinceMyshkin]

Lovely beat, lovely lilt, here's to goofyness!

[PeachesPieces]

and here is to you!

[MorpheusSandman]

I really like this piece; such a pleasing rhythm and jolly use of rhyme, aliteration, and assonance! It reminds me vividly of the famous Singin' in the Ring section of the same film (which happens to be one of my favorites).

[Delta40]

I like the springiness of it. it has a skipping effect