a song I wanted to record

[paperleaves]

back when I was learning how to play the acoustic guitar when I was 14. Found it in my files and thought I'd share ^_^


sonny, somehow
you'd better
get your point across,
writing prose
with yr elbows on cold tabletops
those dirty diners can't hold ya anymore
and that dusty '57 chevy aint doin' what it used to
when you're makin turns on the avenue
all the neighbors can hear your radio, oh
sonny, youd better get yr point across
or else
someday a pro, one of dem
big Hollywood dollfaced hotshots
will come and take the lot
all your words, and yr feelings too
sonny you're better off
just me and you

[Bar22do]

I believe, Paper, you were writing poetry in your gifted head way before you learnt to write! For at 14, your pen was already sharp and your phrases (musical and poetical!)- Art!

[MorpheusSandman]

Yeah, it's amazing how accomplished this is for 14. The very distinct voice of a speaker and your way of capturing an idiomatic language. This feels like a wonderfully captured scene in a short story or film.

[firefangled]

I just love these settings you use in poems like this. You can evoke the whole scene with just the dialogue. You make me see Inside Daisy Clover, On the Waterfront, even West Side Story. It's like they got it goin on down in Bed-Stuy.

To have a voice like this at 14 is precious.

[PrinceMyshkin]

What? The response I thought I left is gone...

What I said, more or less, is that at 14 you were merely gifted, funny as aitch and so warm, but since then...

Well, since then I can't say what you've become without getting very gooey.


Before you were you
you had no exact idea what you
was, but

since then, you've been figuring it out
to our advantage!

[PeachesPieces]

beautiful, i have nothing more to say, but just wanted to say..

[Babyguile]

That's quite an accomplishment.

Was this going to be a bluesy song perhaps? Like Fine and Mellow by Billie Holiday? It really has that lyrcal feel that is classic of those vocal jazz standards.

It seems like it's just the kind of song I'd love to hear that's all.

[paperleaves]

Thank you ALL! I am surprised at the response this has received, but excited nevertheless to see that you enjoyed it! I have lots more like this, I'll have to post them.


love
Kate

[Sampson]

"you'd better
get your point across,
writing prose
with yr elbows on cold tabletops"

paper, you're a bloody genius... whether you were 14 or 104 when you wrote it, that verse will always be have a brilliant! you write the kind of quintessentially american poetry i wish i could!

[hack]

It is precocious, and wonderful.
I am glad you saved it.
When will it be performed?