The Bird My Valentine

[Revolte]

Nestled in a branch, the branch within my mind
Lies the burning bird, the bird my valentine
Stunning wings of flame, flame of burning blight
I crush the burning bird, the bird my valentine
Smoking from her corpse, comes blackened cough of life
Death comes for the bird, the bird my valentine
Alas my troubles end, and shortly shall I find
I need the burning bird, the bird my valentine

[MorpheusSandman]

Hmmm, it's a very interesting piece. If nothing else this is a great use of meter and rhyme. I do wonder what exactly the burning bird (a fascinating image in itself) represents.

[Revolte]

Hmmm, it's a very interesting piece. If nothing else this is a great use of meter and rhyme. I do wonder what exactly the burning bird (a fascinating image in itself) represents.

Thank you!

The burning bird is really just the physical manifestation of love in my current situation. Elegant, beautiful and free yet painfully difficult to keep close and at my side, hints the murdering of the bird ( trying to rid it from the heart to rid its difficulty) but the inability to do so without missing it.

[firefangled]

There is something basic and yet elegant about the difficulties of love in this piece.

I like the repetition in the center of the lines. You handled it well.

[Bar22do]

Nestled in a branch, the branch within my mind
Lies the burning bird, the bird my valentine
Stunning wings of flame, flame of burning blight
I crush the burning bird, the bird my valentine
Smoking from her corpse, comes blackened cough of life
Death comes for the bird, the bird my valentine
Alas my troubles end, and shortly shall I find
I need the burning bird, the bird my valentine

Is it not charming and well written! and today's valentine - may it bring you a new burning bird!! love Bar

[PrinceMyshkin]

Thank you!

The burning bird is really just the physical manifestation of love in my current situation. Elegant, beautiful and free yet painfully difficult to keep close and at my side, hints the murdering of the bird ( trying to rid it from the heart to rid its difficulty) but the inability to do so without missing it.

Many thanks, especially for the poem and the mesmerizing repetition of "the bird my valentine" but also for your explanation.

Supported a bit by your nom de plume, I venture to guess that your first language is French as there is something a touch Prévert in this? Vives Barbara ét toutes ces autres poèmes!

[Revolte]

Many thanks, especially for the poem and the mesmerizing repetition of "the bird my valentine" but also for your explanation.

Supported a bit by your nom de plume, I venture to guess that your first language is French as there is something a touch Prévert in this? Vives Barbara ét toutes ces autres poèmes!

I really dont speek a lick of french, but I LOVE the language more then any other.

[qimissung]

It is interesting and very well done. What a beautiful bit of imagery, the burning bird, my valentine.

[blank|verse]

I always seem to say this, but it's very William Blake - especially 'Tyger, tyger, burning bright'! So much in fact, my brain can't help but rearrange the poem into quatrains (four-line stanzas):

Nestled in a branch,
the branch within my mind
Lies the burning bird,
the bird my valentine

Stunning wings of flame,
flame of burning blight
I crush the burning bird,
the bird my valentine...
It's a fiery image and a fiery poem! Personally, I could have done without the reference to the 'branch within my mind' - it's a bit of a cliche. And do you mean 'flame of burning blight'?

Also, I would change 'comes blackened cough of life' to 'come blackened coughs of life' or similar, because otherwise it reads awkwardly without an article before 'blackened'.

Still, good stuff.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I really dont speek a lick of french, but I LOVE the language more then any other.

Wall, hit seems to me you spick it lak ha nateev!

[Buh4Bee]

I liked this poem, for the simple reason of how well it articulates the complicated emotions love can ignite. Yet, the poem is still elegant and uncomplicated in its message, as I read it.