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neilgee
02-12-2010, 05:48 PM
And rather than lonliness
I envision empty bathrooms
The glazed steam palaces
I associate you with

Left behind by a Princess;
A wasteground, empty potions;
Sentinels at an abandoned window
Like me, dead to all demands.

Maryd.
02-12-2010, 05:58 PM
Wow. Are you talking about me here... No, oh, I don't know, I heard the word Princess and just thought, well maybe.
Lovely dear. Some people don't like poems starting with "And" but I find it rather suitable in this one. Well done.

neilgee
02-12-2010, 06:06 PM
Crikey Mary you just reminded me how and why I started with an "and" [well it was written awhile ago] it was directly inspired by this line by Philip Larkin

"And immediately

Rather than words comes the thought of high windows:"

That always read like it could be the first line of a poem to me. Just astonishing! I'm in awe of Phillip Larkin's talent if not the man himself.

I can't compete with Larkin

Maryd.
02-12-2010, 07:38 PM
No, don't compete, but keep writing.

MorpheusSandman
02-12-2010, 08:54 PM
I love the fact that this seems to pick up in the middle of a thought or a narrative. It really suggests so much more outside was is directly said. I love those last two lines. About the only criticism is that it really leaves the reader wanting more. :)

blank|verse
02-14-2010, 09:31 PM
Yes, it's a nice observation and I too would have liked this to be longer.

There is a hint of Larkin about it - the mention of him reminded me of the opening line of 'Sad Steps': "Groping back to bed after a piss"!

As you're from Blighty, like me - have you heard of Glyn Maxwell? (He's friends with Simon Armitage, who you must have heard of.) In Maxwell's latest collection Hide Now, there's a Larkin-esque poem called 'Lit Windows' which you might enjoy - it's worth tracking down.

neilgee
02-15-2010, 02:39 PM
Morpheus, the "And" does that, it's like entering a conversation mid way through, but really it's to do with passing and repassing the same house in a car, that's how the poem was inspired, but it's about looking at an empty house with an emotional gaze rather than a gaze that would give you a factual description, and having those hollow feelings repeatedly, and so we begin with an "and", if that makes sense.

blnk vrz I have no idea why I "must" have heard of Simon Armitage, unless you are trying to make me feel stupid lol, but here's his friend's poem for anybody else who has never heard of either of them:

Lit Windows by Glyn Maxwell

When I go home again,
when I know so many homes, but I mean the home
with the longest vowel, when I wander the old realm,
I pass them on the lane,
boys turned to men,

so I turn back to a boy
to pass them saying nothing. For it's death
to be where one is not, where every breath
is a heaving of the oars
alone at sea.

I could grow white and old
and I will, I am well aware, grow white and old
looking through lit windows of the world
for people in their rooms;
for the blue, cold

light of a TV on
in an empty room . . . girl at a light so bright
she's silhouette . . . a man who hangs his coat
and stands quite still . . . a mother
agrees with someone

over cake . . . the frosted light
of suppertime, of bathtime, of sex.
I don't have what I have from reading books
but stopping by your homes
to see these sights

and wondering forever
who is someone else? Who on earth
are all these people to have known this with,
this world? Whole skies of stars
are a lesser wonderfully

than all your lights at evening,
all your lives. When the lights go out I'm there,
moving on. When it's dark the stars are clear,
their immaterial eyes
believing, disbelieving.

Reproduced by kind permission of Picador.

Thankyou for introducing me to this poet.

breathtest
02-15-2010, 03:21 PM
I love 'Empty Bathrooms' so much. It is so well written. It is the kind of thing i can imagine wannabe poets reciting off the top of their head for many years to come.

blank|verse
02-15-2010, 03:53 PM
Neilgee - well, Simon Armitage is one of the bigger names in British poetry, perhaps second only to Carol Ann Duffy - his work is studied in schools as part of the National Curriculum, for example; he has also been talked of as 'the next Larkin', so just presumed you would have heard of him. I suppose it goes to show how difficult it is for poets to make a name for themselves.

Thanks for posting the Glyn Maxwell poem - I presume you got it from the Guardian website - but I'm not sure the forum moderators will be too happy, as there are copyright issues regarding posting modern poetry complete like this. You could always put a link to the Guardian site for people interested instead.

neilgee
02-16-2010, 02:17 PM
Thankyou so much breathtest. I find it hard to believe you enjoy this poem so much, that's not false modesty I'm just not a poet, I've never mastered syllable counting for one thing and I've never been able to follow this poem up. I guess that just shows that I've got to feel it to write it, and I don't feel it anymore.

Good point blank verse, here is the link http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/jan/12/glyn-maxwell-ts-eliot-prize
I was shocked to read when I googled Lit Windows by Glyn Maxwell that a link to my poem comes up under "Empty Bathrooms". I wonder if that happens to everyone who quotes another poem on here?

Yes, it's true, poetry doesn't sell anymore, the days when you could make a living from poetry are long gone, and I left school a long time ago. I only heard of Carol Anne Duffy because she was made poet laureate. I just noticed she lives in Didsbury, South Manchester. My God, that's just up the road from me, maybe I've passed her in the supermarket. She's a serious looking soul though, I don't think I'd have the courage to say hello.

Is Tony Harrison not a popular poet these days? He was the last modern poet I discovered at university about fifteen years back. I thought he was brilliant! Yet I think you are right, it's time I discovered more about what's being written currently so I think I'll have a browse and order something by each of them.