Flu pandemic

[Biggus]

FEVERISH

I don’t think I have swine flu
As I haven’t been to Mexico
But I don’t feel well at all
I feel like crap if you must know
I thought of the NHS for advice
On the flu and perhaps its tackling
So I phoned the swine flu hotline
But all I got was crackling

FEVERISH AGAIN

I am suffering from gammon flu
It’s not particularly nasty
I was suffering from swine flu
But then they cured me

FEVERISH YET AGAIN

That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as expected
It’s not even an epidemic
A large number of reported cases
Turned out to be MAN flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed whine flu

FEVERISH AGAIN AND AGAIN

That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as expected
It’s not even an epidemic
A large number of reported cases
On closer examination
Were found to have been
Preceded by intoxication
This is a totally different strain
Of contagious flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed wine flu

FEVERISH ONCE AGAIN

That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as expected
It’s not even an epidemic
A large number of reported cases
On closer examination
Were found to have been
Preceded by infatuation
This is a totally different strain
Of contagious flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed swain flu

FEVERISH ONCE MORE

That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as expected
It’s not even an epidemic
A large number of reported cases
On closer examination
Were found to have been
In contact with evergreen vegetation
This is a totally different strain
Of contagious flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed Pine flu

FEVERISH MORE AND MORE

That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as expected
It’s not even an epidemic
A large number of reported cases
On closer examination
Were found to have been
Preceded by infatuation
This is a totally different strain
Of contagious flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed swoon flu

[PrinceMyshkin]

I loved the first of these best of all, after which it became an amusement to follow and see how many variations you could wring out of puns on "swine".

Thanks.

PS Couldn't there have been one of a political nature re "spine flu"?

[firefangled]

Also loved the first, but all were enjoyable for their punchlines. It's a fine flu you have.

[Biggus]

Thank you both

[MorpheusSandman]

I liked "whine flu" the best. I'm not sure what the point of repeating the opening over and over again is. It's a bit like variations on a theme...

[Biggus]

Thanks