Pain on Paper

[drakemortuare13]

How can I compete against
That which is not real?
A beign of flesh and blood
And a figment of imagination

She is in love with him.
Dark hair, glistening eyes
Eyes thast lead her down to
An artist's conception of a heart

What is he, but a drawing?
Lines, curves, and color
Drawn on a piece of paper
And yet, he is greater than me.

What can I do?
I'm human, a living being
I am what I am, only living
I try all that I can. It's not enough

Because he is of the mind,
He can be all taht she wants
Everyhting I cannot be
Everything that is impossible to me

I can't take it anymore
I've thrown in the towel
My girlfriend is in love...
With a ****ing anime character.

[MorpheusSandman]

Haha, I like the humorous violence of the last line. Given the circles I run in I know plenty of men and women who are in love with anime characters. It's a bizarre phenomenon. I think the theme of falling for fictional characters is a fascinating one because it really taps into our unconscious ideals of what people should be. As for your poem, I think it's a bit technically dry. But you have a fascinating subject; I'd just think about how to make it more "poetic"...

[drakemortuare13]

I'm not really too focused on the rhyme and meter. Several others have advised me to drop it, so I have. Come to think of it, you're one of them. I mainly just focus on putting my emotions on paper.
Strangely, some of my friends also find the last line humurous. It wasn't meant to be that way: it was an expression of pure anger spawned by the fact that my girlfriend loves a false being more than me. And frankly, people falling in love with fictional characters is an outrage. If girls can fall in love with a drawing, I might as well just give up now.

[Babyguile]

drakemortuare I know how you feel. Often in some of my earlier poems (I'm still a complete amateur btw) a lot of my anger was misintepreted by readers as hmour and I felt like I had failed to communicate effectively as a poet. Usually what you find though is that it's just interpretation, so there'll be people who'll understand what you're expressing.

Just stick to your style.

I think a lot of people may misinterpret this ending though. Part of the problem is that you don't reveal what the poetic voice is talking about until the very last line of the poem and so it's like BAM! It has the effect of a punchline.

[Sionn Harrow]

haha. i'm not even going to start on all the people i know who are in love with anime characters...haha. i personally went through a Howl's Moving Castle obsession...but that was (*ahem*) a very very long time ago xD

i personally liked your style-- usually i don't enjoy poetry, but this was great. keep up the good work;)

[everyadventure]

I like that you tackled this issue, giving voice to it rather than pretending its a benign obsession. You treat your girlfriend's fondness of this character like it's as destructive to your relationship as... well, a pornographic addiction. Which, given your fierce anger and jealousy, might be right on the mark.

An original topic, a lot of food for thought. Thanks for sharing!

[Delta40]

Omg! I knew this was going to be about an animie character. My daughter is desperately in love with Reno. Her boyfriend dresses up as him to please her and they go to animie conventions together.

Great poem!