Battle

[amandab]

it's coming again
i feel the darkness creeping upon me
will i survive another trip to that place
where the monster lives in me
will i let it loose on me and those that are close to me
or will i be able to put it back into the recess again
the pain and despair that so few understand
so easy it would be to slide away
let it run free
i've tried so hard to keep
keep my logic my sanity if you will
but will all that is starting to fall down
what will keep me strong
i've lost so much in the past two years
the only thought i still cling to
is that it would her her most of all
the one i gave life too
the one it's been so long since i've seen or held
it's for the best now
that she not see
the monster that is me
but her at such a young age would forget eventually
no matter what my monsters rampage did
i look around
im alone even thought other people are in the room the world
there was a time when i did not fight it
i would let it come reek its havoc
then it would be sated for a time
i survived so many years of hell that way
it wouldn't be hard to return to the old way of life

to the few i've chose to share with you are the only ones that know
know me once loved and protected me
but now you're all out of reach
mostly me to blame i shove everyone away
no matter what
you few have always meant so much to me
at different times in life
but now in my dark hour there is no one here
but me and my beast

[PrinceMyshkin]

Strong ending and a heartfelt testimony but it might have been easier to read as a letter in prose. I hope you have a handle on your suffering.

There are some typos:
in line 12: "will" instead of 'with;
in line 16: "her" instead of 'hurt'
and further down, "thought" instead of 'though'

[amandab]

'but it might have been easier to read as a letter in prose'

not sure what this means

thanks you for your input and pointing out the typos