witty kitten
02-09-2010, 09:03 PM
SCATTERED THOUGHTS ON FOUR SEASONS
Witty Kitten
When the cold gets icy and time draws to the so-called "the year end", my heart always sinks with the incoherent but emotional feelings about what has passed me by and what is waiting for me ahead...
Spring goes and spring comes back, as a matter of course, as a rule of life ever. Yet, there is only a spring in a life span. The happy early years slips away shortly, even before our senses are keen enough to enjoy their smoothness. If only that sweet moment lingered a little longer, if only our way into life were prolonged with the affectionate lullaby of our mothers, then there would be fewer souls lost in evils. That is just a dream which never comes true. Like a fruit that is forced to get ripe earlier, we are ripped off the pair of sheltering arms and thrown into a swift current, forced to be strong to swim ahead. Goodbye to spring of life. Goodbye to the carefree early days.
Half forced and half voluntary, we struggle to swim on. We try to appear strong, or even we are a real hero in the eyes of others, but deep inside we know well that we are weak and fragile. The heat of summer fires enthusiasm inside ourselves. We are driven around and around in a crazy and energetic dance, we never want to stop. We're dying for the applauses from the crowd, though we know that behind the well-lighted stage is immense darkness and emptiness. But there comes a time when our feet become weary, and we need a little rest.
Autumn follows closely behind summer, too closely to be distinguished clearly. We don't know exactly when we become indifferent and emotionless, until the slight touch of fallen leaves stirs the air and makes us startled to realize the presence of autumn. Yet for me, I can feel a long, long autumn, one which stems right from the hot summer and has been continuing across the years. Just having passed the age that is considered not too young, I feel like I have put a full stop to the most beautiful and ambitious period in my life. Days go by with all that routine busyness, as regularly as breath. The laughters sound tasteless in all those smashing get-together. The streets look endless when there are no familiar faces in sight after hours of walking. Aspirations get more and more blurred. Excitement quiets down little by little. I'm not courageous enough to look back, or to look into the future. Summer no longer exists. Winter is still so far away. How can I manage to go through this long autumn? It's surely hard to experience its stillness and emptiness. The road ahead is long, making it not easy at all to bury myself in forgetfulness or a quiet sleep.
How lucky I am to be waken up, excitedly and hopefully, by a new life that have just begun. When I look into the naive eyes of my baby and hold his tiny fingers in my hands, I can feel well another fresh spring hanging around. Once again, I can live the spring that went away long, long ago. I can find myself again, with a loving and tireless heart, when that little creature completely belongs to me. A sense of full bliss takes possession of me when I realize that both my love and care are really needed. I am no longer an insignificant and lonely existence. I can see there I am, in all those beautiful smiles and feeble arms reaching out for a shelter. That's a miraculous rebirth, sustaining the flow of life. We go away yet we're still there, in our later generations, with each new one reviving the last. It's all like the rotation of the years, with no ending nor beginning.
Thank-you to my dearest son. With his presence in my life, I can always feel spring around me, a spring full of hope and trust which is a reason for my going on and holding on...
Witty Kitten
When the cold gets icy and time draws to the so-called "the year end", my heart always sinks with the incoherent but emotional feelings about what has passed me by and what is waiting for me ahead...
Spring goes and spring comes back, as a matter of course, as a rule of life ever. Yet, there is only a spring in a life span. The happy early years slips away shortly, even before our senses are keen enough to enjoy their smoothness. If only that sweet moment lingered a little longer, if only our way into life were prolonged with the affectionate lullaby of our mothers, then there would be fewer souls lost in evils. That is just a dream which never comes true. Like a fruit that is forced to get ripe earlier, we are ripped off the pair of sheltering arms and thrown into a swift current, forced to be strong to swim ahead. Goodbye to spring of life. Goodbye to the carefree early days.
Half forced and half voluntary, we struggle to swim on. We try to appear strong, or even we are a real hero in the eyes of others, but deep inside we know well that we are weak and fragile. The heat of summer fires enthusiasm inside ourselves. We are driven around and around in a crazy and energetic dance, we never want to stop. We're dying for the applauses from the crowd, though we know that behind the well-lighted stage is immense darkness and emptiness. But there comes a time when our feet become weary, and we need a little rest.
Autumn follows closely behind summer, too closely to be distinguished clearly. We don't know exactly when we become indifferent and emotionless, until the slight touch of fallen leaves stirs the air and makes us startled to realize the presence of autumn. Yet for me, I can feel a long, long autumn, one which stems right from the hot summer and has been continuing across the years. Just having passed the age that is considered not too young, I feel like I have put a full stop to the most beautiful and ambitious period in my life. Days go by with all that routine busyness, as regularly as breath. The laughters sound tasteless in all those smashing get-together. The streets look endless when there are no familiar faces in sight after hours of walking. Aspirations get more and more blurred. Excitement quiets down little by little. I'm not courageous enough to look back, or to look into the future. Summer no longer exists. Winter is still so far away. How can I manage to go through this long autumn? It's surely hard to experience its stillness and emptiness. The road ahead is long, making it not easy at all to bury myself in forgetfulness or a quiet sleep.
How lucky I am to be waken up, excitedly and hopefully, by a new life that have just begun. When I look into the naive eyes of my baby and hold his tiny fingers in my hands, I can feel well another fresh spring hanging around. Once again, I can live the spring that went away long, long ago. I can find myself again, with a loving and tireless heart, when that little creature completely belongs to me. A sense of full bliss takes possession of me when I realize that both my love and care are really needed. I am no longer an insignificant and lonely existence. I can see there I am, in all those beautiful smiles and feeble arms reaching out for a shelter. That's a miraculous rebirth, sustaining the flow of life. We go away yet we're still there, in our later generations, with each new one reviving the last. It's all like the rotation of the years, with no ending nor beginning.
Thank-you to my dearest son. With his presence in my life, I can always feel spring around me, a spring full of hope and trust which is a reason for my going on and holding on...