My first Hiaku Poem

[novlist*star*]

Haiku (俳句 haikai verse), is a form of Japanese poetry. haiku in English usually appear in three lines, to parallel the three metrical phrases of Japanese haiku..

My Hiaku Poem,



The moon...and darkness-
Iron fences-
Behind them I am..

[BienvenuJDC]

You should join us in our Haiku games...

[MorpheusSandman]

It's a lovely Haiku. I also second JDC's rec.

[Scout]

Haiku (俳句 haikai verse), is a form of Japanese poetry. haiku in English usually appear in three lines, to parallel the three metrical phrases of Japanese haiku..

My Hiaku Poem,



The moon...and darkness-
Iron fences-
Behind them I am..

Hi I'm new but I know haiku's and that doesn't sound like one its five syllables on the first live seven and back to five and you didn't spell haiku rite

From, ____

[Jack of Hearts]

Puke on the conversation this invariably leads to. Every. Single. Time.


But Scout is right.







J

[qimissung]

Haiku is spelled haiku, but the 5-7-5 thing is mostly the western interpretation of how one should be written. A haiku is short so it could be said in one breath, and this one fits that definition.

[hillwalker]

My hair is also short - but it's not a haiku.

Why do posters keep trying to label their latest poem a haiku when it plainly is not?
It's so depressing (see JoH's comment above) - either research the haiku form properly (there's no excuse for getting it so wrong) or just call your short poem a short poem. Calling it a haiku doesn't suddenly elevate it into something more refined and enigmatic...

H

[Haunted]

I've seen so many instances where people put words together that either contradict each other or just don't make sense. How does moon and darkness go together?

The thought is good, but do get your images straight. Seriously THINK harder next time.

[Jassy Melson]

Sorry, but it's not a haiku. Does a sonnet have fifteen lines? Thirteen lines? Enough said.

[Delta40]

this thread is rehashed
after nearly fifteen months
I sit, wondering.

[BienvenuJDC]

Technicalities
Creativity cast down
A kind word is nice

[qimissung]

Here is a discussion of haiku:

http://www.ahapoetry.com/keirule.htm

Our use of 5-7-5 is acceptable, but somewhat dated idea.

Here is a brief exerpt from the article:




Thus there are more places where a Japanese phrase can be divided without disrupting its meaning. If English had the same degree of segmentation flexibility as Japanese, the following haiku,

across the arroyo
deep scars
of a joy ride

Keiko

can be rewritten to approximate the 3-5-3 form as

across the
arroyo, deep scars
of a joy ride

without affecting the meaning. As it is, doing so sacrifices too much in the flow of words and interferes with the image. Since Japanese haiku are written on one line, with no spacing between the segments, there is no danger of disrupting the flow in this manner. It is merely an artifact borne of the linguistic differences between the two languages and of the three-line convention of English haiku that makes the former appear as if it does not have a classic form. The type of unnatural line breaks seen in the latter is a problem associated with the 3-5-3 (or other short) form, whereas the 5-7-5 form is long enough to accommodate natural line breaks dictated by the English grammar, due to a greater degree of freedom provided by the extra syllables.

Thus we are in a bind, a catch twenty-two. If one wishes to have the brevity and the fragmented quality of Japanese haiku in English haiku, 17 syllables are too long. On the other hand, if a rigid structure is desired, 11 syllables are too short. One must choose between the two. The choice depends on which of the two factors a poet considers more important to haiku. The majority of contemporary English-haiku poets have let go of the tight forms in favor of brevity to develop the mainstream North American haiku.



I know Wikipedia is not really considered a trustworty reference, but this a very understandable article on the English Haiku:



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku_in_English


and on the Janpanese Haiku:


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku

And I will stop now. :)

As to whether novelis*star*'s work is a haiku, I'm not sure I'm qualified to say. Haiku can be a juxtaposition of images, and I think she has done that with her work. She is certainly a novice, but I have taken writing workshops where my work has been read by moderators and then simply handed back to me. My feeling is guidance is helpful, but let's go lightly, lightly. What springs from the heart should be honored.

[hillwalker]

Regardless of the syllable count (either English or Japanese) a traditional haiku should have a theme involving nature or a particular season and the verse should hinge on a pair of images (that are not generally described in so many words) with a pivotal line separating the two.
It's not enough to come up with 3 short lines and call the result a haiku - small wonder many Japanese poets despair of Western haikus.

H

PS - I'll also stop now :):)