Pain

[amandab]

I can’t stand to look at you
it hurts me so
I fear leaving you
because I need you so
different thing wanted
separation imminent
the pain of all this
to much to take
removal necessary
longing much
for the happiness
I once had
no one even knows
the torment of my days
they say they are
a friend
but no one wonders enough
to check IN
all else is wrapped up in their own messes
to be sturdy for me
I’m needy
I know
but giving I am
try to reach out
no one sees
people only see
when I exploded
with what’s bothering me
so unsafe for me
it pushes others away
what else to do
how else to explain
my
PAIN

[tailor STATELY]

Checking IN

Enjoyed your poem. I sense the angst your protagonist feels.

If I may indulge in a bit of a rewrite (yet try to keep your style intact).
I've included some line breaks to make your poem easier on my eyes:



"Pain"

I can not stand to look at you;
it hurts me so much

Still, I fear leaving
because I need you so

Changes are needed;
separation seems imminent

The pain I feel is much
too much for me to take

I know I must leave

Oh, how I long
for the happiness
we once had

No one knows
the torment of my days

Some say they are
my friends;
but no one cares enough
to check IN

I guess they are wrapped
up in their own messes
to be here, strong for me

I don't feel safe
around myself;
it pushes others away

I’m needy, I know;
yet I give, I am
trying to reach out

No one sees ME

People only notice
when I explode
over what’s bothering me

What else can I do ?

How else to explain
my
PAIN

Forgive me if I'm out of line. I hope this gives you an idea
or two to help you polish up this nice piece.

Sincerely,
tailor STATELY

[Bar22do]

I can’t stand to look at you
it hurts me so
I fear leaving you
because I need you so
different thing wanted
separation imminent
the pain of all this
to much to take
removal necessary
longing much
for the happiness
I once had
no one even knows
the torment of my days
they say they are
a friend
but no one wonders enough
to check IN
all else is wrapped up in their own messes
to be sturdy for me
I’m needy
I know
but giving I am
try to reach out
no one sees
people only see
when I exploded
with what’s bothering me
so unsafe for me
it pushes others away
what else to do
how else to explain
my
PAIN

This is really painful, uff. and you seem so lonely. Though you still have poetry to go through your pain with... and poetry is a powerful mean of catharsis...
StatelyT gave you some good hints to add dynamism and a better shape to your poem. I just wanted to attract your attention to a typo: "to much to take", I suppose you meant "too much to take".
Thanks for your sharing.

[amandab]

thanks for the comment and the correction idea