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Alexander III
02-08-2010, 12:43 PM
Imagination and Reality, for too long had fought,
Living in one painted mansion of mind,
Their ritual rage roared, trough halls of thought,
As all other living aspects, were intertwined;
The mansion’s façade was gilded in regal might,
Yet its soul was withered in chaotic passions.
The two could no longer bear each others blight,
Thus an honorable duel was set, in proper fashions:
Lord Fact and Fancy, were chosen as loyal seconds,
The tranquil and innocent garden, as venue was set,
At bloodied dawn, death for one beckons,
Etiquette was followed for murder without regret.
That forsaken dawn, Imagination was shot dead,
Later Reality was found, hung by the head…

Sampson
02-08-2010, 12:57 PM
Yes! That's the kinda rare, powerful poem that I love to read. The personification of abstract concepts is possibly my own favourite thing to write, so to see this beautifully polished, multi-faceted, accomplished piece actually provoked a vocal reaction... "That's f***ing awesome!"

Bar22do
02-08-2010, 04:06 PM
Imagination and Reality, for too long had fought,
Living in one painted mansion of mind,
Their ritual rage roared, trough halls of thought,
As all other living aspects, were intertwined;
The mansion’s façade was gilded in regal might,
Yet its soul was withered in chaotic passions.
The two could no longer bear each others blight,
Thus an honorable duel was set, in proper fashions:
Lord Fact and Fancy, were chosen as loyal seconds,
The tranquil and innocent garden, as venue was set,
At bloodied dawn, death for one beckons,
Etiquette was followed for murder without regret.
That forsaken dawn, Imagination was shot dead,
Later Reality was found, hung by the head…

I love your new post. "the mansion of mind" is very evocative!
I would not repeat twice "was set". Otherwise: should not it be Lords not Lord? and "hanged" not hung? and you have a little typo in the second line.
But these are tiny details in this rather witty, well flowing action-poem. Thanks!

Delta40
02-08-2010, 04:59 PM
I loved ;The mansion’s façade was gilded in regal might,
Yet its soul was withered in chaotic passions.' I love the way you have portrayed this turmoil so beautifully

Alexander III
02-09-2010, 12:42 PM
I am pleased to hear the comments :)

And Bardo I prefer to keep Lord and hung( even though not gramaticaly correct) as by changing those words the rhythm would change fore the worse in my opinion.

MorpheusSandman
02-09-2010, 10:50 PM
This is really an extraordinary sonnet and despite the irregular meter I think the rhythm feels extremely natural; as do the rhymes. I love, love, love the personifications of reality and imagination and the complex, internal battle you stage between. That closing couplet is truly powerful stuff; probably better than any closing couplet I've ever written for a sonnet. I really think this is your best yet, Alex. :)

Alexander III
02-10-2010, 11:39 AM
I am astonished to see that you think so highly of my work Morpheus, interesting enough I actually believe this to be one of my ugliest pieces hehe

MorpheusSandman
02-10-2010, 11:52 PM
A good lesson to learn about poetry and art; others will usually NOT see your work the same way you see it. ;)

Buh4Bee
02-11-2010, 10:28 PM
I have read this poem so many times. It is extremely creative and the images are quite rich.
These lines were a favorite of mine:
The two could no longer bear each others blight,
Thus an honorable duel was set, in proper fashions:
Lord Fact and Fancy, were chosen as loyal seconds,

Fact and Fancy as loyal seconds- so creative.

It is dark, like the end of Alice in Wonderland. I love the magical fairy tale land you are able to capture in your writing.

I am a great fan sir!