Epilepsy

[Delta40]

A descent into
face-tic honesty
is wrung from my
Sham-Wow amygdala
My compass spins
pointlessly
to electrical chaos
Here, baseness speaks
through gnashed teeth
the bloody tale
of my wretchedness

My fluffy snuggie brain
wouldly if it couldly
waver and list to port
But who will navigate
to safe seas?
What pirate would
lash me to the rail
of impulsive convulsive
and render me minute,
meaningless
like dribble on the floor?

[PrinceMyshkin]

Very powerful and evocative of what such an attack must be like. (But "wouldly/couldly"?)

[Delta40]

its silly talk, the way speech leans as my form alters

[PrinceMyshkin]

its silly talk, the way speech leans as my form alters

Maybe so, but the 2nd half of your sentence might well be the beginning of a new poem.

[~Sophia~]

Wow Delta. Very graphic and gives great insight into an episode. I have a friend who's son suffers the same way. Bravo for the strength you show in sharing this with us. I think it's a wonderful poem and the wouldly/couldly wobble is I think, apropos in this case. Beautifully done!

[Bar22do]

Very poignant to me, so vivid! you challenge suffering with the beauty of your art! woudly/coudly sound so much in place here and allow to feel even better the growing lost of control... it is such a good really good poem.

[blank|verse]

Yeah, it's nicely ambitious and uses language in an imaginative way, I really liked that (although admit have no idea what's going on in line 4!). The frustration of the condition really comes through strongly in the last four lines of the first stanza through your language choices: baseness - gnashed - bloody - wretchedness.

(They were probably unintentional references, but reading this I was reminded a couple of times of Shakespeare - there's a line about an 'epileptic visage' in King Lear and the ghost of Hamlet says 'List, oh list!'....)

[Delta40]

I think sham-wow is very phoney. I guess I wanted to reveal the base working of my brain as worthless pap....

[MorpheusSandman]

It's powerful stuff. I also love how you play with language to mimic the subject matter. It reminds me strongly of the lyrics to Meshuggah's Spasm:


Stroboscopic contortion-assault. Light bulb language
translated into fits
Codes of tendon-flickers I can't grasp. Focus lost as
I writhe and twitch
Random beats of blinding shockwaves. Erratic suns
that twist my eyes
Flashes pounding at my thoughts as the intrinsic pains
multiply

Muscle and tissue twined with every violent lash
Battered by an unrelenting shine
Immobilized by the increasing pains,
the procreating agonies of system breakdown

Lightwave frequency body-oscillation. Undeciphered
motions pass through my flesh
Bodily reverberation induced. A corporeal system lost
in its waves
Bleached into their existence by tremulous epileptic
strokes
Blasts of irregular pulsar-radiation - Triggering the
process of mind and body control

Lost to their control
A sentence - in flashes told
Enticed by their calls; - Insane, divine

Torn, undone, dissolved
By incandescent gods condemned
Burned. Their mark on my soul
To my inverted shadow confined

Twisted, spun. Vertebras and spinal column unaligned
Joints shattered and torn apart. Spasm-rendered
distortion
Organic spiral. Stretched and torn into a new
creation
A worldless thing, a thingless word. Lightborn
malformation

[Virgil]

It's outstanding Delta. The only thought that might improve it if you wre to use some more assonance - internal rhyming sounds. But it's solid as is. I hope you don't suffer much when this happens. Be careful. :)