Collection of Poems (03-04)

[Nax]

Well seeing as I haven't qualified for a blog yet, and I am at work and bored, I decided to go home at lunch and dig up a bunch of my old poems from when I was still living in Canada.

These are the unedited original poems as written by me age 15 or so.

For readers sake, I will post two at a time.



ELEGY TO A BOY

I once knew a boy, innocent and kind
A shy little boy, yet he always spoke his mind
But now that boy is dead and has left behind,
A black void of a man who could drink turpintine

A hard shell of a man who lies awake in his bed
No visions of sugar plums dance in his head
A man empty of feeling never destined to wed
Most people in the town feel he'd be better of dead

This is the elegy to a boy forgotten
A boy who's mind and very soul became rotten
A boy weighted down as his father's only begotten
His life is a war, one the he never faught in

He is dead.

Oct. 29 2003



FOOL WOMAN

You are my sun, moon and sky
You've made a peice inside you die
You changed for him, you changed your style
But all he wants is your verticle smile

You think you're better, you think your cool
If you think he'll love you, you are a fool
He'll never love you althought you date
And you wonder why he's late

You snuggle and kiss, he hugs you too
But there's only one thing he wants to do
You say "oh well" he's just a boy
He says "thats right, you're just my toy"

You say you long to have his ****
To him you're just a fancy sock
You say "NO!" I must be wrong
But does he know your favorite song?

Does he know what you're about
All he does is laugh and shout
Truth is he cares not for what's inside
But only what's between your thighs

I only wish to make you see
Why settle for him, when there is me
I've always cared for whats inside
The bonus is what's between your thighs


Nov. 12 2003

[Nax]

THE FACELESS LOVER

I see you but do you see me?
My soul is filled with what could be
My heart is in a vice you see
And you turn the crank with glee

All you do is cause hurt and pain
You gaze at him, it drives me insane
My unshed teard, a falling crystal rain
Would you even care if I was slain?

I long to touch your lucious breast
I long to clutch you to my chest
I swear to you I'll try my best
My love for you is now confessed

You shrink away from my caress
Shut up! I've made this such a mess
The world is just a game of chess
And you've moved me into checkmate


Nov. 12 2003


ALONE WITH THE ILL FATED LOVER

You think you see what isn't there
A slash of light, tis just a hair
You feel his breath, its only air
You're sure he's dead but its not fair
He left, this means he doesn't care?
You answer the silence with only a stare
You mind runs as a wild mare
Across the table an empty chair
You long to see what isn't there.


Nov. 13 2003

[JuniperWoolf]

2003 we were in grade ten, yeah?

[Nax]

THE NAMELESS

Hiding in the shadows of the mind
The nameless, an entity
Blackness, void of light
Shadows move as he moves
To find him is to unleash him
Do not gaze apon his evil
An evil never meant to see light
Now plagues the world we know
I am sorry


Oct. 10 2003

THE EYES

Do not be afraid to look into my eyes
For they are the only part of me, not filled with lies
They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul
Which is why my dear, you can see yourself in them


Date Unknown

[Nax]

Hey you, um, somewhere around there surely. It was pretty close to when I moved so like 9/10ish

[Nax]

A RING

A ring upon your finger
The third one from the right
A secret ring, one unseen
One hidden from the sight
Of prying eyes and selfish lies
And those who'd try and stop
Our climb to eternal happiness
Upon the mountain top
A mountain built on love and trust
As tiny feet do move
Sweet little Ryde and Sabastian
The products of our love
A life of love ahead to see
A time with many a memory
A life time that you'll spend with me
Our secrecy is, at time, the fee


Jan. 13 2003


YOUR ANGER

Your anger is like a thousand hot pokers
They jab into my very soul
And when they sink into my heart
They leave a gaping hole
Your anger hurts more than any blow
Even more when its my fault
The inner wounds burn and sting
As if rolled in salt
I never want to make you angry
Because it hurts me so
But sometimes I do **** up
And that you're sure to know
Please dont hate me
I know I am wrong
I know that I failed you
I try and be strong
The bottom line is
I broke your trust
I failed as a friend
And yes I ****ed up
But I still love you
And I hope you do me
Because without you
I just couldn't be


Date Unknown

[Nax]

This one is a personal old favorite of mine

TWO SIDES TO LOVE

The sweet sound of silence
Is shattered by solilique
The thousand thoughts of a lovers mind
Swell in my head and fill me
Thought of love and loving you
Lust is lost as love is more
A blanket over a glowing coal
Though the heat, a hole does bore
A hole in you I too shall bore
To love two sides there is
Sex and love, love and sex
No sweeter song the this
Love is the soup of a hungry heart
The more you drink the more you fill
You soft sweet stomach bursts inside
And soon your body's still
But in the moment the senses stagger
You thrash and scream and moan
Your pressed against a feather matress
By a body made of stone
This is the moment you know for sure
That he is the one or not
So you scream yes in reply
Your hair he does pull taught
You can't take it
Stop! No more!
You roll to the floor
And crawl to the door
Your knees are sore
You look back at me
My chest heaving
And all you want is more.


Date unknown

This one was written towards the end of the collection, right before I was forced to move to Australia, my shrink said it would be good for me to vent my frustration via creative means, you be the judge


WHY I DONT WANT TO MOVE

I feel as though im dying
That my body is stripped away
And I die a little more
With each ensuing day
I'll never live this way again
Never the same me
I'll never know what could have been
Or what that I could be
I'll never go back to the way I was
I never be this me again
I spit at this journey, I spit at growth
All it does is cause me pain
When the world give you lemons
Make ****ing lemonaide
But I ordered just plain water
So why the hell was juice made?
"You've got to roll with the punches"
and "deal with what comes"
Say all the lucky people
Returning to their homes
Thank you for your advice
Nice to know you all care
But I'm the one who's going
And YOU are staying here
Its just so easy to say
How nice that it will be
When you're sitting on the outside
Just try at being me
You get to stay with those that you love
And those who love you too
Im the poor bastard leaving it all
Must be nice to be you.

[Nax]

UNTITLED

Fears and loves
Loves and fears
Both will shed
A million tears
Both cause pain
Both tear the soul
Both cause fright
And leave a hole
The truth is that
They both come from the heart
They can bring people together
Or tear them apart
But in the end
We get over our fears
But the heart never forgets
The ones we held dear


Date Unknown


UNTITLED

Love is a word overly used
A word which should never be abused
But when you say it and look at me
I know its used the way it should be

When I hold you the world seems at peace
I feel my breath deepen, and my pain seems to ease
No words can explain how you make me feel
And that's how I know that this love is real

When I kiss your lips my heart starts to race
And I start to melt when you touch my face
When we are apart I can't take the pain
I count down the hours till I see you again

When I hold you close, I feel like I'm whole
I know that I love you with every ounce of my soul
When you rub your hands all over my body
I know that you are about to get naughty

I love how you treat me like I'm the only man living
Your just like a gift, and you keep on giving
I know im cute and corny and sappy
But God **** woman, you make me so happy


Date Unknown

[Nax]

I NEED YOUR GUIDANCE?

Where was your oh so insightful guidance
When I was learning to ride a bike
I would tip and fall and tumble over
When i was just a "tike"

Where was your oh so insightful guidance
When I was learning to swim
I could still be gasping and drowning
My future looking grim

Where was your oh so insightful guidance
When I wanted to learn of the world
But instead I knew nothing of it at all
Blindly into it I was hurled

Where was your oh so insightful guidance
When the world had me down on the rocks
When I was dirty and poverty stricken
With stained slacks and holes in my socks

Where was your oh so insightful guidance
It was passed out on the chair
With dinner burning in the stove
And the smell of booze in the air

Your oh so insightful guidance
Has come to late in the game
And now I struggle feircly
To try not to be the same

Although now I may have a dad
My father died long years that passed
You think the time has gone by so fast
But they didn't, you just missed a few


Date Unknown


Last one, written after I got to Australia

STUPID GIRL

Stupid girl
Can't you see
He toys with you
So easily
He's made you his
Own private whore
Why can't you see
You're nothing more
He cheats, he lies
And yet, you stay
He kills your soul
More every day
He knows you're his
No woes has he
Because he knows
You'll come back with glee
If he loves you
Why does he cheat
You have no backbone
You kiss his feet
I once thought
That you were smart
Pure, untainted
You follow your heart
But now I see
You're weak, moronic
And this love for me
Is simply, plutonic