wtf story

[DanielBenoit]

Once when we were playing football at a stadium we accidently kicked the ball out of the field. So I thought and said "here use my head" and I took it off and we kicked off. We won the superbowl that day. I look back on that now and. . .. .

[neilgee]

wonder when human beings became so evolved that footballs and heads were interchangeable. I guess it all began the day we got our first footballing president elected, and not just an old, retired footballer either, but 25 year old Joey Mathis who scored as often off the field of play as on it...

[neilgee]

Once when we were playing football at a stadium we accidently kicked the ball out of the field. So I thought and said "here use my head" and I took it off and we kicked off. We won the superbowl that day. I look back on that now and. . .. . when human beings became so evolved that footballs and heads were interchangeable. I guess it all began the day we got our first footballing president elected, and not just an old, retired footballer either, but 25 year old Joey Mathis who scored as often off the field of play as on it...

[Maryd.]

But I daren't say anything evil against the man, as he helped me in more ways than one... I was an average player with problems on the homefront as well as the field and he gave me private tuition. Some say I ought be concerned with his antics off field, than on, but he was good to me and that was all that mattered... Until this morning when he tried to...

[neilgee]

Once when we were playing football at a stadium we accidently kicked the ball out of the field. So I thought and said "here use my head" and I took it off and we kicked off. We won the superbowl that day. I look back on that now and I wonder . .. .

Just when did human beings became so evolved that footballs and heads were interchangeable. I guess it all began the day we got our first footballing president elected, and not just an old, retired footballer either, but 25 year old Joey Mathis who scored as often off the field of play as on it...

I daren't say anything evil against the man, as he helped me in more ways than one... I was an average player with problems on the homefront as well as the field and he gave me private tuition. Some say I ought be concerned with his antics off field, than on, but he was good to me and that was all that mattered... Until this morning when he tried to make a startling grope around my groin area. Fortunately I was pretty quick in those days and if you could see me now you would be impressed by the twist, block and elbow defensive manoeuvre I am demonstrating as I write.

Of course I didn't say anything to the Press after I saw the way Monica Lewinksky was treated, but...

[Maryd.]

Once when we were playing football at a stadium we accidently kicked the ball out of the field. So I thought and said "here use my head" and I took it off and we kicked off. We won the superbowl that day. I look back on that now and I wonder . .. .

Just when did human beings became so evolved that footballs and heads were interchangeable. I guess it all began the day we got our first footballing president elected, and not just an old, retired footballer either, but 25 year old Joey Mathis who scored as often off the field of play as on it...

I daren't say anything evil against the man, as he helped me in more ways than one... I was an average player with problems on the homefront as well as the field and he gave me private tuition. Some say I ought be concerned with his antics off field, than on, but he was good to me and that was all that mattered... Until this morning when he tried to make a startling grope around my groin area. Fortunately I was pretty quick in those days and if you could see me now you would be impressed by the twist, block and elbow defensive manoeuvre I am demonstrating as I write.

Of course I didn't say anything to the Press after I saw the way Monica Lewinksky was treated, but I needed to be cautious. What would the fans do to me if the found out what Joey did? I would become Mr. Lewinski, if you know what I mean. So I decided to plot my way out of...

[neilgee]

Once when we were playing football at a stadium we accidently kicked the ball out of the field. So I thought and said "here use my head" and I took it off and we kicked off. We won the superbowl that day. I look back on that now and I wonder . .. .

Just when did human beings became so evolved that footballs and heads were interchangeable. I guess it all began the day we got our first footballing president elected, and not just an old, retired footballer either, but 25 year old Joey Mathis who scored as often off the field of play as on it...

I daren't say anything evil against the man, as he helped me in more ways than one... I was an average player with problems on the homefront as well as the field and he gave me private tuition. Some say I ought be concerned with his antics off field, than on, but he was good to me and that was all that mattered... Until this morning when he tried to make a startling grope around my groin area. Fortunately I was pretty quick in those days and if you could see me now you would be impressed by the twist, block and elbow defensive manoeuvre I am demonstrating as I write.

Of course I didn't say anything to the Press after I saw the way Monica Lewinksky was treated, but I needed to be cautious. What would the fans do to me if the found out what Joey did and I would be Mr. Monica, if you know what I mean. So I decided to plot my way out of this tricky situation by beginning a political career [I swear to you that's where Joey got the idea from, though of course he's never given me any credit] just in a small way running for Govenor in the small state of...

[Maryd.]

Once when we were playing football at a stadium we accidently kicked the ball out of the field. So I thought and said "here use my head" and I took it off and we kicked off. We won the superbowl that day. I look back on that now and I wonder . .. .

Just when did human beings became so evolved that footballs and heads were interchangeable. I guess it all began the day we got our first footballing president elected, and not just an old, retired footballer either, but 25 year old Joey Mathis who scored as often off the field of play as on it...

I daren't say anything evil against the man, as he helped me in more ways than one... I was an average player with problems on the homefront as well as the field and he gave me private tuition. Some say I ought be concerned with his antics off field, than on, but he was good to me and that was all that mattered... Until this morning when he tried to make a startling grope around my groin area. Fortunately I was pretty quick in those days and if you could see me now you would be impressed by the twist, block and elbow defensive manoeuvre I am demonstrating as I write.

Of course I didn't say anything to the Press after I saw the way Monica Lewinksky was treated, but I needed to be cautious. What would the fans do to me if the found out what Joey did and I would be Mr. Monica, if you know what I mean. So I decided to plot my way out of this tricky situation by beginning a political career [I swear to you that's where Joey got the idea from, though of course he's never given me any credit] just in a small way running for Govenor in the small state of Australia. Not a sole knows about him there and I guess he was able to cover his shame by not bringing up his football career. So where does this leave me? Where should I...

[neilgee]

Once when we were playing football at a stadium we accidently kicked the ball out of the field. So I thought and said "here use my head" and I took it off and we kicked off. We won the superbowl that day. I look back on that now and I wonder . .. .

Just when did human beings became so evolved that footballs and heads were interchangeable. I guess it all began the day we got our first footballing president elected, and not just an old, retired footballer either, but 25 year old Joey Mathis who scored as often off the field of play as on it...

I daren't say anything evil against the man, as he helped me in more ways than one... I was an average player with problems on the homefront as well as the field and he gave me private tuition. Some say I ought be concerned with his antics off field, than on, but he was good to me and that was all that mattered... Until this morning when he tried to make a startling grope around my groin area. Fortunately I was pretty quick in those days and if you could see me now you would be impressed by the twist, block and elbow defensive manoeuvre I am demonstrating as I write.

Of course I didn't say anything to the Press after I saw the way Monica Lewinksky was treated, but I needed to be cautious. What would the fans do to me if the found out what Joey did and I would be Mr. Monica, if you know what I mean. So I decided to plot my way out of this tricky situation by beginning a political career [I swear to you that's where Joey got the idea from, though of course he's never given me any credit] just in a small way running for Govenor in the small state of Australia. Not a sole knows about him there and I guess he was able to cover his shame by not bringing up his football career. So where does this leave me? Where should I, now it seems that I am really Joey, go now, if he - meaning I - am in Australia chatting up and making advances to people of both sexes indiscriminately, or has the plot just got too complicated now that I've been groped by myself?

[Maryd.]

Once when we were playing football at a stadium we accidently kicked the ball out of the field. So I thought and said "here use my head" and I took it off and we kicked off. We won the superbowl that day. I look back on that now and I wonder . .. .

Just when did human beings became so evolved that footballs and heads were interchangeable. I guess it all began the day we got our first footballing president elected, and not just an old, retired footballer either, but 25 year old Joey Mathis who scored as often off the field of play as on it...

I daren't say anything evil against the man, as he helped me in more ways than one... I was an average player with problems on the homefront as well as the field and he gave me private tuition. Some say I ought be concerned with his antics off field, than on, but he was good to me and that was all that mattered... Until this morning when he tried to make a startling grope around my groin area. Fortunately I was pretty quick in those days and if you could see me now you would be impressed by the twist, block and elbow defensive manoeuvre I am demonstrating as I write.

Of course I didn't say anything to the Press after I saw the way Monica Lewinksky was treated, but I needed to be cautious. What would the fans do to me if the found out what Joey did and I would be Mr. Monica, if you know what I mean. So I decided to plot my way out of this tricky situation by beginning a political career [I swear to you that's where Joey got the idea from, though of course he's never given me any credit] just in a small way running for Govenor in the small state of Australia. Not a sole knows about him there and I guess he was able to cover his shame by not bringing up his football career. So where does this leave me? Where should I, now it seems that I am really Joey, go now, if he - meaning I - am in Australia chatting up and making advances to people of both sexes indiscriminately, or has the plot just got too complicated now that I've been groped by myself? Am I never to be the man I want to be? If someone would only pinch me then I would believe that this is all a dream. But no! Nothing! I am alone, I am the only one who can help myself. "Nobody cares." I grunt out loudly as I peereed into the distance and there standing like an angel, was my future. Looking glorious in a stunning red dressed, with a bright white laced bolero top, which sat comfortably over her well proportioned breasts. Her golden hair swayed gently by a slight draft as she stood by the doorway calling out to me.
"...

[neilgee]

Once when we were playing football at a stadium we accidently kicked the ball out of the field. So I thought and said "here use my head" and I took it off and we kicked off. We won the superbowl that day. I look back on that now and I wonder . .. .

Just when did human beings became so evolved that footballs and heads were interchangeable. I guess it all began the day we got our first footballing president elected, and not just an old, retired footballer either, but 25 year old Joey Mathis who scored as often off the field of play as on it...

I daren't say anything evil against the man, as he helped me in more ways than one... I was an average player with problems on the homefront as well as the field and he gave me private tuition. Some say I ought be concerned with his antics off field, than on, but he was good to me and that was all that mattered... Until this morning when he tried to make a startling grope around my groin area. Fortunately I was pretty quick in those days and if you could see me now you would be impressed by the twist, block and elbow defensive manoeuvre I am demonstrating as I write.

Of course I didn't say anything to the Press after I saw the way Monica Lewinksky was treated, but I needed to be cautious. What would the fans do to me if the found out what Joey did and I would be Mr. Monica, if you know what I mean. So I decided to plot my way out of this tricky situation by beginning a political career [I swear to you that's where Joey got the idea from, though of course he's never given me any credit] just in a small way running for Govenor in the small state of Australia.

Not a sole knows about him there and I guess he was able to cover his shame by not bringing up his football career. So where does this leave me? Where should I, now it seems that I am really Joey, go now, if he - meaning I - am in Australia chatting up and making advances to people of both sexes indiscriminately, or has the plot just got too complicated now that I've been groped by myself?

Am I never to be the man I want to be? If someone would only pinch me then I would believe that this is all a dream. But no! Nothing! I am alone, I am the only one who can help myself. "Nobody cares." I grunt out loudly as I peereed into the distance and there standing like an angel, was my future. Looking glorious in a stunning red dressed, with a bright white laced bolero top, which sat comfortably over her well proportioned breasts. Her golden hair swayed gently by a slight draft as she stood by the doorway calling out to me.


"I'm sorry if this has all got too daft but I can't do anything about it, it's that Mary taking the plot in peculiar directions again. I think it's up to you Joey - or whatever your name is now - as President of the United States to do something about it, like invade Australia right now. I know Mary has a secret stash of chocolate so you could easily square it with the UN afterwards..."

[Maryd.]

Once when we were playing football at a stadium we accidently kicked the ball out of the field. So I thought and said "here use my head" and I took it off and we kicked off. We won the superbowl that day. I look back on that now and I wonder . .. .

Just when did human beings became so evolved that footballs and heads were interchangeable. I guess it all began the day we got our first footballing president elected, and not just an old, retired footballer either, but 25 year old Joey Mathis who scored as often off the field of play as on it...

I daren't say anything evil against the man, as he helped me in more ways than one... I was an average player with problems on the homefront as well as the field and he gave me private tuition. Some say I ought be concerned with his antics off field, than on, but he was good to me and that was all that mattered... Until this morning when he tried to make a startling grope around my groin area. Fortunately I was pretty quick in those days and if you could see me now you would be impressed by the twist, block and elbow defensive manoeuvre I am demonstrating as I write.

Of course I didn't say anything to the Press after I saw the way Monica Lewinksky was treated, but I needed to be cautious. What would the fans do to me if the found out what Joey did and I would be Mr. Monica, if you know what I mean. So I decided to plot my way out of this tricky situation by beginning a political career [I swear to you that's where Joey got the idea from, though of course he's never given me any credit] just in a small way running for Govenor in the small state of Australia.

Not a sole knows about him there and I guess he was able to cover his shame by not bringing up his football career. So where does this leave me? Where should I, now it seems that I am really Joey, go now, if he - meaning I - am in Australia chatting up and making advances to people of both sexes indiscriminately, or has the plot just got too complicated now that I've been groped by myself?

Am I never to be the man I want to be? If someone would only pinch me then I would believe that this is all a dream. But no! Nothing! I am alone, I am the only one who can help myself. "Nobody cares." I grunt out loudly as I peereed into the distance and there standing like an angel, was my future. Looking glorious in a stunning red dressed, with a bright white laced bolero top, which sat comfortably over her well proportioned breasts. Her golden hair swayed gently by a slight draft as she stood by the doorway calling out to me.


"I'm sorry if this has all got too daft but I can't do anything about it, it's that Mary taking the plot in peculiar directions again. I think it's up to you Joey - or whatever your name is now - as President of the United States to do something about it, like invade Australia right now. I know Mary has a secret stash of chocolate so you could easily square it with the UN afterwards..."

"Hm. You may be right there. But what kind of chocolates are they and is it worth invading a country filled with Kangaroos and fluffly kaolas, just for some wicked chocolates, that a crazy chick made. Oh and just between you and I, I have changed my name to Neil Gee. This way people in Australia, won't know who I am!" He replied as stared at this blonde vision. Was she sent to him as a plot. Was he about to be manipulated into invading Australia, just for her famous chocolates. Valentines Day, can be murder, he thought as he approached her...

[neilgee]

Just when did human beings became so evolved that footballs and heads were interchangeable. I guess it all began the day we got our first footballing president elected, and not just an old, retired footballer either, but 25 year old Joey Mathis who scored as often off the field of play as on it...

I daren't say anything evil against the man, as he helped me in more ways than one... I was an average player with problems on the homefront as well as the field and he gave me private tuition. Some say I ought be concerned with his antics off field, than on, but he was good to me and that was all that mattered... Until this morning when he tried to make a startling grope around my groin area. Fortunately I was pretty quick in those days and if you could see me now you would be impressed by the twist, block and elbow defensive manoeuvre I am demonstrating as I write.

Of course I didn't say anything to the Press after I saw the way Monica Lewinksky was treated, but I needed to be cautious. What would the fans do to me if the found out what Joey did and I would be Mr. Monica, if you know what I mean. So I decided to plot my way out of this tricky situation by beginning a political career [I swear to you that's where Joey got the idea from, though of course he's never given me any credit] just in a small way running for Govenor in the small state of Australia.

Not a sole knows about him there and I guess he was able to cover his shame by not bringing up his football career. So where does this leave me? Where should I, now it seems that I am really Joey, go now, if he - meaning I - am in Australia chatting up and making advances to people of both sexes indiscriminately, or has the plot just got too complicated now that I've been groped by myself?

Am I never to be the man I want to be? If someone would only pinch me then I would believe that this is all a dream. But no! Nothing! I am alone, I am the only one who can help myself. "Nobody cares." I grunt out loudly as I peereed into the distance and there standing like an angel, was my future. Looking glorious in a stunning red dressed, with a bright white laced bolero top, which sat comfortably over her well proportioned breasts. Her golden hair swayed gently by a slight draft as she stood by the doorway calling out to me.


"I'm sorry if this has all got too daft but I can't do anything about it, it's that Mary taking the plot in peculiar directions again. I think it's up to you Joey - or whatever your name is now - as President of the United States to do something about it, like invade Australia right now. I know Mary has a secret stash of chocolate so you could easily square it with the UN afterwards..."

"Hm. You may be right there. But what kind of chocolates are they and is it worth invading a country filled with Kangaroos and fluffly kaolas, just for some wicked chocolates, that a crazy chick made. Oh and just between you and I, I have changed my name to Neil Gee. This way people in Australia, won't know who I am!" He replied as stared at this blonde vision. Was she sent to him as a plot. Was he about to be manipulated into invading Australia, just for her famous chocolates. Valentines Day, can be murder, he thought as he approached her tapped her lightly on the shoulder and said "So are you the famous Mary Gee? Sorry but I'm a little confused here..."

She slid down from her perch by the window and winked at him as if swearing him to secrecy, but she also completely ignored the question and said "If you ask me a feller's got to do something to fill his time!"
"Pardon?" he asked, although he had heard her perfectly clearly, but she just turned away and began humming to himself absently.
"Blimey" he thought to himself, "this Mary's abit of a space cadet, very attractive though..." and so thinking he tried to regain her attention by tapping her on the shoulder again...

[Maryd.]

Just when did human beings became so evolved that footballs and heads were interchangeable. I guess it all began the day we got our first footballing president elected, and not just an old, retired footballer either, but 25 year old Joey Mathis who scored as often off the field of play as on it...

I daren't say anything evil against the man, as he helped me in more ways than one... I was an average player with problems on the homefront as well as the field and he gave me private tuition. Some say I ought be concerned with his antics off field, than on, but he was good to me and that was all that mattered... Until this morning when he tried to make a startling grope around my groin area. Fortunately I was pretty quick in those days and if you could see me now you would be impressed by the twist, block and elbow defensive manoeuvre I am demonstrating as I write.

Of course I didn't say anything to the Press after I saw the way Monica Lewinksky was treated, but I needed to be cautious. What would the fans do to me if the found out what Joey did and I would be Mr. Monica, if you know what I mean. So I decided to plot my way out of this tricky situation by beginning a political career [I swear to you that's where Joey got the idea from, though of course he's never given me any credit] just in a small way running for Govenor in the small state of Australia.

Not a sole knows about him there and I guess he was able to cover his shame by not bringing up his football career. So where does this leave me? Where should I, now it seems that I am really Joey, go now, if he - meaning I - am in Australia chatting up and making advances to people of both sexes indiscriminately, or has the plot just got too complicated now that I've been groped by myself?

Am I never to be the man I want to be? If someone would only pinch me then I would believe that this is all a dream. But no! Nothing! I am alone, I am the only one who can help myself. "Nobody cares." I grunt out loudly as I peereed into the distance and there standing like an angel, was my future. Looking glorious in a stunning red dressed, with a bright white laced bolero top, which sat comfortably over her well proportioned breasts. Her golden hair swayed gently by a slight draft as she stood by the doorway calling out to me.


"I'm sorry if this has all got too daft but I can't do anything about it, it's that Mary taking the plot in peculiar directions again. I think it's up to you Joey - or whatever your name is now - as President of the United States to do something about it, like invade Australia right now. I know Mary has a secret stash of chocolate so you could easily square it with the UN afterwards..."

"Hm. You may be right there. But what kind of chocolates are they and is it worth invading a country filled with Kangaroos and fluffly kaolas, just for some wicked chocolates, that a crazy chick made. Oh and just between you and I, I have changed my name to Neil Gee. This way people in Australia, won't know who I am!" He replied as stared at this blonde vision. Was she sent to him as a plot. Was he about to be manipulated into invading Australia, just for her famous chocolates. Valentines Day, can be murder, he thought as he approached her tapped her lightly on the shoulder and said "So are you the famous Mary Gee? Sorry but I'm a little confused here..."

She slid down from her perch by the window and winked at him as if swearing him to secrecy, but she also completely ignored the question and said "If you ask me a feller's got to do something to fill his time!"
"Pardon?" he asked, although he had heard her perfectly clearly, but she just turned away and began humming to himself absently.
"Blimey" he thought to himself, "this Mary's abit of a space cadet, very attractive though..." and so thinking he tried to regain her attention by tapping her on the shoulder again, but she giggled like a school girl and carefully jumped off the tree and onto the ground landing clumsily on her backside. She let out a roar of laughter and turned to Neil. Neil was ogled eyed and in a trance. But he couldn't let her beauty betray his judgement. He had to get away from her and fast, or she would lead him onto dangerous grounds. But how to do it? Where to run? It was hopeless, he couldn't help himself. He watched her stand up, brush herself clean and followed her. Down the path, past the old green gate and into the local park...

[neilgee]

Just when did human beings became so evolved that footballs and heads were interchangeable. I guess it all began the day we got our first footballing president elected, and not just an old, retired footballer either, but 25 year old Joey Mathis who scored as often off the field of play as on it...

I daren't say anything evil against the man, as he helped me in more ways than one... I was an average player with problems on the homefront as well as the field and he gave me private tuition. Some say I ought be concerned with his antics off field, than on, but he was good to me and that was all that mattered... Until this morning when he tried to make a startling grope around my groin area. Fortunately I was pretty quick in those days and if you could see me now you would be impressed by the twist, block and elbow defensive manoeuvre I am demonstrating as I write.

Of course I didn't say anything to the Press after I saw the way Monica Lewinksky was treated, but I needed to be cautious. What would the fans do to me if the found out what Joey did and I would be Mr. Monica, if you know what I mean. So I decided to plot my way out of this tricky situation by beginning a political career [I swear to you that's where Joey got the idea from, though of course he's never given me any credit] just in a small way running for Govenor in the small state of Australia.

Not a sole knows about him there and I guess he was able to cover his shame by not bringing up his football career. So where does this leave me? Where should I, now it seems that I am really Joey, go now, if he - meaning I - am in Australia chatting up and making advances to people of both sexes indiscriminately, or has the plot just got too complicated now that I've been groped by myself?

Am I never to be the man I want to be? If someone would only pinch me then I would believe that this is all a dream. But no! Nothing! I am alone, I am the only one who can help myself. "Nobody cares." I grunt out loudly as I peereed into the distance and there standing like an angel, was my future. Looking glorious in a stunning red dressed, with a bright white laced bolero top, which sat comfortably over her well proportioned breasts. Her golden hair swayed gently by a slight draft as she stood by the doorway calling out to me.


"I'm sorry if this has all got too daft but I can't do anything about it, it's that Mary taking the plot in peculiar directions again. I think it's up to you Joey - or whatever your name is now - as President of the United States to do something about it, like invade Australia right now. I know Mary has a secret stash of chocolate so you could easily square it with the UN afterwards..."

"Hm. You may be right there. But what kind of chocolates are they and is it worth invading a country filled with Kangaroos and fluffly kaolas, just for some wicked chocolates, that a crazy chick made. Oh and just between you and I, I have changed my name to Neil Gee. This way people in Australia, won't know who I am!" He replied as stared at this blonde vision. Was she sent to him as a plot. Was he about to be manipulated into invading Australia, just for her famous chocolates. Valentines Day, can be murder, he thought as he approached her tapped her lightly on the shoulder and said "So are you the famous Mary Gee? Sorry but I'm a little confused here..."

She slid down from her perch by the window and winked at him as if swearing him to secrecy, but she also completely ignored the question and said "If you ask me a feller's got to do something to fill his time!"
"Pardon?" he asked, although he had heard her perfectly clearly, but she just turned away and began humming to himself absently.

"Blimey" he thought to himself, "this Mary's abit of a space cadet, very attractive though..." and so thinking he tried to regain her attention by tapping her on the shoulder again, but she giggled like a school girl and carefully jumped off the tree and onto the ground landing clumsily on her backside. She let out a roar of laughter and turned to Neil. Neil was ogled eyed and in a trance. But he couldn't let her beauty betray his judgement. He had to get away from her and fast, or she would lead him onto dangerous grounds. But how to do it? Where to run?

It was hopeless, he couldn't help himself. He watched her stand up, brush herself clean and followed her. Down the path, past the old green gate and into the local park where a scruffy Irishman was shouting at some schoolboys, a big mistake because he was so drunk he couldn't defend himself in any way and the boys had found a puddle of stagnant water that they began scooping up with their hands to throw at the Irishman. Sensing his helplessness he staggered towards the approaching adults and tried to mingle with them, just standing there beside Neil, Mary, Joey and Frances as they admired the boating lake. The boys hung back while he was near the other adults but...

[Nax]

Just when did human beings became so evolved that footballs and heads were interchangeable. I guess it all began the day we got our first footballing president elected, and not just an old, retired footballer either, but 25 year old Joey Mathis who scored as often off the field of play as on it...

I daren't say anything evil against the man, as he helped me in more ways than one... I was an average player with problems on the homefront as well as the field and he gave me private tuition. Some say I ought be concerned with his antics off field, than on, but he was good to me and that was all that mattered... Until this morning when he tried to make a startling grope around my groin area. Fortunately I was pretty quick in those days and if you could see me now you would be impressed by the twist, block and elbow defensive manoeuvre I am demonstrating as I write.

Of course I didn't say anything to the Press after I saw the way Monica Lewinksky was treated, but I needed to be cautious. What would the fans do to me if the found out what Joey did and I would be Mr. Monica, if you know what I mean. So I decided to plot my way out of this tricky situation by beginning a political career [I swear to you that's where Joey got the idea from, though of course he's never given me any credit] just in a small way running for Govenor in the small state of Australia.

Not a sole knows about him there and I guess he was able to cover his shame by not bringing up his football career. So where does this leave me? Where should I, now it seems that I am really Joey, go now, if he - meaning I - am in Australia chatting up and making advances to people of both sexes indiscriminately, or has the plot just got too complicated now that I've been groped by myself?

Am I never to be the man I want to be? If someone would only pinch me then I would believe that this is all a dream. But no! Nothing! I am alone, I am the only one who can help myself. "Nobody cares." I grunt out loudly as I peereed into the distance and there standing like an angel, was my future. Looking glorious in a stunning red dressed, with a bright white laced bolero top, which sat comfortably over her well proportioned breasts. Her golden hair swayed gently by a slight draft as she stood by the doorway calling out to me.


"I'm sorry if this has all got too daft but I can't do anything about it, it's that Mary taking the plot in peculiar directions again. I think it's up to you Joey - or whatever your name is now - as President of the United States to do something about it, like invade Australia right now. I know Mary has a secret stash of chocolate so you could easily square it with the UN afterwards..."

"Hm. You may be right there. But what kind of chocolates are they and is it worth invading a country filled with Kangaroos and fluffly kaolas, just for some wicked chocolates, that a crazy chick made. Oh and just between you and I, I have changed my name to Neil Gee. This way people in Australia, won't know who I am!" He replied as stared at this blonde vision. Was she sent to him as a plot. Was he about to be manipulated into invading Australia, just for her famous chocolates. Valentines Day, can be murder, he thought as he approached her tapped her lightly on the shoulder and said "So are you the famous Mary Gee? Sorry but I'm a little confused here..."

She slid down from her perch by the window and winked at him as if swearing him to secrecy, but she also completely ignored the question and said "If you ask me a feller's got to do something to fill his time!"
"Pardon?" he asked, although he had heard her perfectly clearly, but she just turned away and began humming to himself absently.

"Blimey" he thought to himself, "this Mary's abit of a space cadet, very attractive though..." and so thinking he tried to regain her attention by tapping her on the shoulder again, but she giggled like a school girl and carefully jumped off the tree and onto the ground landing clumsily on her backside. She let out a roar of laughter and turned to Neil. Neil was ogled eyed and in a trance. But he couldn't let her beauty betray his judgement. He had to get away from her and fast, or she would lead him onto dangerous grounds. But how to do it? Where to run?

It was hopeless, he couldn't help himself. He watched her stand up, brush herself clean and followed her. Down the path, past the old green gate and into the local park where a scruffy Irishman was shouting at some schoolboys, a big mistake because he was so drunk he couldn't defend himself in any way and the boys had found a puddle of stagnant water that they began scooping up with their hands to throw at the Irishman. Sensing his helplessness he staggered towards the approaching adults and tried to mingle with them, just standing there beside Neil, Mary, Joey and Frances as they admired the boating lake. The boys hung back while he was near the other adults but...

the boys had discovered a small duck! The first boy loaded two lemons into the duck, and picked it up. He aimed the beak right at the adults and the irishmen. They were completely awstruck at the boys, the tension in the air was thick as watermelons. Suddenly without warning the duck wielding boy fired upon them! The Irishman jumped in the way, coping two lemons right in the chest which blew a hole in him the size of tacos. The adults ran to him, trying to comfort him as the boy reloaded his lemon-duck gun. With his dying breath the irishman said to them.

"when life gives you lemons....

[Nax]

arg, this story is moving too quickly, double posts

[Maryd.]

arg, this story is moving too quickly, double posts

Yes, true that, but I stick with it... It's fun.

[Silas Thorne]

Just when did human beings became so evolved that footballs and heads were interchangeable. I guess it all began the day we got our first footballing president elected, and not just an old, retired footballer either, but 25 year old Joey Mathis who scored as often off the field of play as on it...

I daren't say anything evil against the man, as he helped me in more ways than one... I was an average player with problems on the homefront as well as the field and he gave me private tuition. Some say I ought be concerned with his antics off field, than on, but he was good to me and that was all that mattered... Until this morning when he tried to make a startling grope around my groin area. Fortunately I was pretty quick in those days and if you could see me now you would be impressed by the twist, block and elbow defensive manoeuvre I am demonstrating as I write.

Of course I didn't say anything to the Press after I saw the way Monica Lewinksky was treated, but I needed to be cautious. What would the fans do to me if the found out what Joey did and I would be Mr. Monica, if you know what I mean. So I decided to plot my way out of this tricky situation by beginning a political career [I swear to you that's where Joey got the idea from, though of course he's never given me any credit] just in a small way running for Govenor in the small state of Australia.

Not a sole knows about him there and I guess he was able to cover his shame by not bringing up his football career. So where does this leave me? Where should I, now it seems that I am really Joey, go now, if he - meaning I - am in Australia chatting up and making advances to people of both sexes indiscriminately, or has the plot just got too complicated now that I've been groped by myself?

Am I never to be the man I want to be? If someone would only pinch me then I would believe that this is all a dream. But no! Nothing! I am alone, I am the only one who can help myself. "Nobody cares." I grunt out loudly as I peereed into the distance and there standing like an angel, was my future. Looking glorious in a stunning red dressed, with a bright white laced bolero top, which sat comfortably over her well proportioned breasts. Her golden hair swayed gently by a slight draft as she stood by the doorway calling out to me.


"I'm sorry if this has all got too daft but I can't do anything about it, it's that Mary taking the plot in peculiar directions again. I think it's up to you Joey - or whatever your name is now - as President of the United States to do something about it, like invade Australia right now. I know Mary has a secret stash of chocolate so you could easily square it with the UN afterwards..."

"Hm. You may be right there. But what kind of chocolates are they and is it worth invading a country filled with Kangaroos and fluffly kaolas, just for some wicked chocolates, that a crazy chick made. Oh and just between you and I, I have changed my name to Neil Gee. This way people in Australia, won't know who I am!" He replied as stared at this blonde vision. Was she sent to him as a plot. Was he about to be manipulated into invading Australia, just for her famous chocolates. Valentines Day, can be murder, he thought as he approached her tapped her lightly on the shoulder and said "So are you the famous Mary Gee? Sorry but I'm a little confused here..."

She slid down from her perch by the window and winked at him as if swearing him to secrecy, but she also completely ignored the question and said "If you ask me a feller's got to do something to fill his time!"
"Pardon?" he asked, although he had heard her perfectly clearly, but she just turned away and began humming to himself absently.

"Blimey" he thought to himself, "this Mary's abit of a space cadet, very attractive though..." and so thinking he tried to regain her attention by tapping her on the shoulder again, but she giggled like a school girl and carefully jumped off the tree and onto the ground landing clumsily on her backside. She let out a roar of laughter and turned to Neil. Neil was ogled eyed and in a trance. But he couldn't let her beauty betray his judgement. He had to get away from her and fast, or she would lead him onto dangerous grounds. But how to do it? Where to run?

It was hopeless, he couldn't help himself. He watched her stand up, brush herself clean and followed her. Down the path, past the old green gate and into the local park where a scruffy Irishman was shouting at some schoolboys, a big mistake because he was so drunk he couldn't defend himself in any way and the boys had found a puddle of stagnant water that they began scooping up with their hands to throw at the Irishman. Sensing his helplessness he staggered towards the approaching adults and tried to mingle with them, just standing there beside Neil, Mary, Joey and Frances as they admired the boating lake. The boys hung back while he was near the other adults but...

the boys had discovered a small duck! The first boy loaded two lemons into the duck, and picked it up. He aimed the beak right at the adults and the irishmen. They were completely awstruck at the boys, the tension in the air was thick as watermelons. Suddenly without warning the duck wielding boy fired upon them! The Irishman jumped in the way, coping two lemons right in the chest which blew a hole in him the size of tacos. The adults ran to him, trying to comfort him as the boy reloaded his lemon-duck gun. With his dying breath the irishman said to them.

"when life gives you lemons...' which was kind of pointless really, not having the decency to die until after completing his sentence. But then, as luck would have it, the boy with the duck gun fell over backwards and his head hit a small rock, exploding like a pinata , and the adults frantically raced around trying to catch the sweets that fell around them...

[DanielBenoit]

Yes, true that, but I stick with it... It's fun.

Yay, I've finally made a game thread that hath succeeded! :driving:

[Maryd.]

Yay, I've finally made a game thread that hath succeeded! :driving:

You sure have Dan, I am loving this one... but where's your imput deary.

[Nax]

Just when did human beings became so evolved that footballs and heads were interchangeable. I guess it all began the day we got our first footballing president elected, and not just an old, retired footballer either, but 25 year old Joey Mathis who scored as often off the field of play as on it...

I daren't say anything evil against the man, as he helped me in more ways than one... I was an average player with problems on the homefront as well as the field and he gave me private tuition. Some say I ought be concerned with his antics off field, than on, but he was good to me and that was all that mattered... Until this morning when he tried to make a startling grope around my groin area. Fortunately I was pretty quick in those days and if you could see me now you would be impressed by the twist, block and elbow defensive manoeuvre I am demonstrating as I write.

Of course I didn't say anything to the Press after I saw the way Monica Lewinksky was treated, but I needed to be cautious. What would the fans do to me if the found out what Joey did and I would be Mr. Monica, if you know what I mean. So I decided to plot my way out of this tricky situation by beginning a political career [I swear to you that's where Joey got the idea from, though of course he's never given me any credit] just in a small way running for Govenor in the small state of Australia.

Not a sole knows about him there and I guess he was able to cover his shame by not bringing up his football career. So where does this leave me? Where should I, now it seems that I am really Joey, go now, if he - meaning I - am in Australia chatting up and making advances to people of both sexes indiscriminately, or has the plot just got too complicated now that I've been groped by myself?

Am I never to be the man I want to be? If someone would only pinch me then I would believe that this is all a dream. But no! Nothing! I am alone, I am the only one who can help myself. "Nobody cares." I grunt out loudly as I peereed into the distance and there standing like an angel, was my future. Looking glorious in a stunning red dressed, with a bright white laced bolero top, which sat comfortably over her well proportioned breasts. Her golden hair swayed gently by a slight draft as she stood by the doorway calling out to me.


"I'm sorry if this has all got too daft but I can't do anything about it, it's that Mary taking the plot in peculiar directions again. I think it's up to you Joey - or whatever your name is now - as President of the United States to do something about it, like invade Australia right now. I know Mary has a secret stash of chocolate so you could easily square it with the UN afterwards..."

"Hm. You may be right there. But what kind of chocolates are they and is it worth invading a country filled with Kangaroos and fluffly kaolas, just for some wicked chocolates, that a crazy chick made. Oh and just between you and I, I have changed my name to Neil Gee. This way people in Australia, won't know who I am!" He replied as stared at this blonde vision. Was she sent to him as a plot. Was he about to be manipulated into invading Australia, just for her famous chocolates. Valentines Day, can be murder, he thought as he approached her tapped her lightly on the shoulder and said "So are you the famous Mary Gee? Sorry but I'm a little confused here..."

She slid down from her perch by the window and winked at him as if swearing him to secrecy, but she also completely ignored the question and said "If you ask me a feller's got to do something to fill his time!"
"Pardon?" he asked, although he had heard her perfectly clearly, but she just turned away and began humming to himself absently.

"Blimey" he thought to himself, "this Mary's abit of a space cadet, very attractive though..." and so thinking he tried to regain her attention by tapping her on the shoulder again, but she giggled like a school girl and carefully jumped off the tree and onto the ground landing clumsily on her backside. She let out a roar of laughter and turned to Neil. Neil was ogled eyed and in a trance. But he couldn't let her beauty betray his judgement. He had to get away from her and fast, or she would lead him onto dangerous grounds. But how to do it? Where to run?

It was hopeless, he couldn't help himself. He watched her stand up, brush herself clean and followed her. Down the path, past the old green gate and into the local park where a scruffy Irishman was shouting at some schoolboys, a big mistake because he was so drunk he couldn't defend himself in any way and the boys had found a puddle of stagnant water that they began scooping up with their hands to throw at the Irishman. Sensing his helplessness he staggered towards the approaching adults and tried to mingle with them, just standing there beside Neil, Mary, Joey and Frances as they admired the boating lake. The boys hung back while he was near the other adults but...

the boys had discovered a small duck! The first boy loaded two lemons into the duck, and picked it up. He aimed the beak right at the adults and the irishmen. They were completely awstruck at the boys, the tension in the air was thick as watermelons. Suddenly without warning the duck wielding boy fired upon them! The Irishman jumped in the way, coping two lemons right in the chest which blew a hole in him the size of tacos. The adults ran to him, trying to comfort him as the boy reloaded his lemon-duck gun. With his dying breath the irishman said to them.

"when life gives you lemons...' which was kind of pointless really, not having the decency to die until after completing his sentence. But then, as luck would have it, the boy with the duck gun fell over backwards and his head hit a small rock, exploding like a pinata , and the adults frantically raced around trying to catch the sweets that fell around them...

unfortunately this resulted in late onset diabetes for all of them, it was caught too late and they ended up losing all of their limbs. The five of them would sit around, just a bunch of torso's thinking about the days of yore, when they had limbs, and irishmen. "I'm sick of this!" Cried Joey. "im building a time machine!" Now I am not sure if you have ever built a time machine without arms or legs, but it takes a while. So long in fact that Joey died before it was fully operational. But the remaining 4 decided it was a risk worth taking to have their appendages back. They piled into the time machine, and set it for a day before the duck-lemon-shooting. If Joey had still been alive, he would have warned them of the perils of climbing into an unfinished time machine. But he was dead, so all he could say was "*rot*"

[neilgee]

Am I never to be the man I want to be? If someone would only pinch me then I would believe that this is all a dream. But no! Nothing! I am alone, I am the only one who can help myself. "Nobody cares." I grunt out loudly as I peereed into the distance and there standing like an angel, was my future. Looking glorious in a stunning red dressed, with a bright white laced bolero top, which sat comfortably over her well proportioned breasts. Her golden hair swayed gently by a slight draft as she stood by the doorway calling out to me.


"I'm sorry if this has all got too daft but I can't do anything about it, it's that Mary taking the plot in peculiar directions again. I think it's up to you Joey - or whatever your name is now - as President of the United States to do something about it, like invade Australia right now. I know Mary has a secret stash of chocolate so you could easily square it with the UN afterwards..."

"Hm. You may be right there. But what kind of chocolates are they and is it worth invading a country filled with Kangaroos and fluffly kaolas, just for some wicked chocolates, that a crazy chick made. Oh and just between you and I, I have changed my name to Neil Gee. This way people in Australia, won't know who I am!" He replied as stared at this blonde vision. Was she sent to him as a plot. Was he about to be manipulated into invading Australia, just for her famous chocolates. Valentines Day, can be murder, he thought as he approached her tapped her lightly on the shoulder and said "So are you the famous Mary Gee? Sorry but I'm a little confused here..."

She slid down from her perch by the window and winked at him as if swearing him to secrecy, but she also completely ignored the question and said "If you ask me a feller's got to do something to fill his time!"
"Pardon?" he asked, although he had heard her perfectly clearly, but she just turned away and began humming to himself absently.

"Blimey" he thought to himself, "this Mary's abit of a space cadet, very attractive though..." and so thinking he tried to regain her attention by tapping her on the shoulder again, but she giggled like a school girl and carefully jumped off the tree and onto the ground landing clumsily on her backside. She let out a roar of laughter and turned to Neil. Neil was ogled eyed and in a trance. But he couldn't let her beauty betray his judgement. He had to get away from her and fast, or she would lead him onto dangerous grounds. But how to do it? Where to run?

It was hopeless, he couldn't help himself. He watched her stand up, brush herself clean and followed her. Down the path, past the old green gate and into the local park where a scruffy Irishman was shouting at some schoolboys, a big mistake because he was so drunk he couldn't defend himself in any way and the boys had found a puddle of stagnant water that they began scooping up with their hands to throw at the Irishman. Sensing his helplessness he staggered towards the approaching adults and tried to mingle with them, just standing there beside Neil, Mary, Joey and Frances as they admired the boating lake. The boys hung back while he was near the other adults but...

the boys had discovered a small duck! The first boy loaded two lemons into the duck, and picked it up. He aimed the beak right at the adults and the irishmen. They were completely awstruck at the boys, the tension in the air was thick as watermelons. Suddenly without warning the duck wielding boy fired upon them! The Irishman jumped in the way, coping two lemons right in the chest which blew a hole in him the size of tacos. The adults ran to him, trying to comfort him as the boy reloaded his lemon-duck gun. With his dying breath the irishman said to them.

"when life gives you lemons...' which was kind of pointless really, not having the decency to die until after completing his sentence. But then, as luck would have it, the boy with the duck gun fell over backwards and his head hit a small rock, exploding like a pinata , and the adults frantically raced around trying to catch the sweets that fell around them...

unfortunately this resulted in late onset diabetes for all of them, it was caught too late and they ended up losing all of their limbs. The five of them would sit around, just a bunch of torso's thinking about the days of yore, when they had limbs, and irishmen. "I'm sick of this!" Cried Joey. "im building a time machine!" Now I am not sure if you have ever built a time machine without arms or legs, but it takes a while. So long in fact that Joey died before it was fully operational. But the remaining 4 decided it was a risk worth taking to have their appendages back. They piled into the time machine, and set it for a day before the duck-lemon-shooting. If Joey had still been alive, he would have warned them of the perils of climbing into an unfinished time machine. But he was dead, so all he could say was "*rot*

and rot is exactly what the time machine seemed to do, at least it was giving off a horrid aroma of the pungent gases you might well encounter at an old landfill site and black smoke began pouring from the roof into the atmosphere so quickly that passers by thought the whole park was on fire and a man with a clipboard from the environmental agency was bearing down on our would-be time travellers with a vitriolic look upon his face when suddenly the time machine disappeared altogether.

[DanielBenoit]

Am I never to be the man I want to be? If someone would only pinch me then I would believe that this is all a dream. But no! Nothing! I am alone, I am the only one who can help myself. "Nobody cares." I grunt out loudly as I peereed into the distance and there standing like an angel, was my future. Looking glorious in a stunning red dressed, with a bright white laced bolero top, which sat comfortably over her well proportioned breasts. Her golden hair swayed gently by a slight draft as she stood by the doorway calling out to me.


"I'm sorry if this has all got too daft but I can't do anything about it, it's that Mary taking the plot in peculiar directions again. I think it's up to you Joey - or whatever your name is now - as President of the United States to do something about it, like invade Australia right now. I know Mary has a secret stash of chocolate so you could easily square it with the UN afterwards..."

"Hm. You may be right there. But what kind of chocolates are they and is it worth invading a country filled with Kangaroos and fluffly kaolas, just for some wicked chocolates, that a crazy chick made. Oh and just between you and I, I have changed my name to Neil Gee. This way people in Australia, won't know who I am!" He replied as stared at this blonde vision. Was she sent to him as a plot. Was he about to be manipulated into invading Australia, just for her famous chocolates. Valentines Day, can be murder, he thought as he approached her tapped her lightly on the shoulder and said "So are you the famous Mary Gee? Sorry but I'm a little confused here..."

She slid down from her perch by the window and winked at him as if swearing him to secrecy, but she also completely ignored the question and said "If you ask me a feller's got to do something to fill his time!"
"Pardon?" he asked, although he had heard her perfectly clearly, but she just turned away and began humming to himself absently.

"Blimey" he thought to himself, "this Mary's abit of a space cadet, very attractive though..." and so thinking he tried to regain her attention by tapping her on the shoulder again, but she giggled like a school girl and carefully jumped off the tree and onto the ground landing clumsily on her backside. She let out a roar of laughter and turned to Neil. Neil was ogled eyed and in a trance. But he couldn't let her beauty betray his judgement. He had to get away from her and fast, or she would lead him onto dangerous grounds. But how to do it? Where to run?

It was hopeless, he couldn't help himself. He watched her stand up, brush herself clean and followed her. Down the path, past the old green gate and into the local park where a scruffy Irishman was shouting at some schoolboys, a big mistake because he was so drunk he couldn't defend himself in any way and the boys had found a puddle of stagnant water that they began scooping up with their hands to throw at the Irishman. Sensing his helplessness he staggered towards the approaching adults and tried to mingle with them, just standing there beside Neil, Mary, Joey and Frances as they admired the boating lake. The boys hung back while he was near the other adults but...

the boys had discovered a small duck! The first boy loaded two lemons into the duck, and picked it up. He aimed the beak right at the adults and the irishmen. They were completely awstruck at the boys, the tension in the air was thick as watermelons. Suddenly without warning the duck wielding boy fired upon them! The Irishman jumped in the way, coping two lemons right in the chest which blew a hole in him the size of tacos. The adults ran to him, trying to comfort him as the boy reloaded his lemon-duck gun. With his dying breath the irishman said to them.

"when life gives you lemons...' which was kind of pointless really, not having the decency to die until after completing his sentence. But then, as luck would have it, the boy with the duck gun fell over backwards and his head hit a small rock, exploding like a pinata , and the adults frantically raced around trying to catch the sweets that fell around them...

unfortunately this resulted in late onset diabetes for all of them, it was caught too late and they ended up losing all of their limbs. The five of them would sit around, just a bunch of torso's thinking about the days of yore, when they had limbs, and irishmen. "I'm sick of this!" Cried Joey. "im building a time machine!" Now I am not sure if you have ever built a time machine without arms or legs, but it takes a while. So long in fact that Joey died before it was fully operational. But the remaining 4 decided it was a risk worth taking to have their appendages back. They piled into the time machine, and set it for a day before the duck-lemon-shooting. If Joey had still been alive, he would have warned them of the perils of climbing into an unfinished time machine. But he was dead, so all he could say was "*rot*

and rot is exactly what the time machine seemed to do, at least it was giving off a horrid aroma of the pungent gases you might well encounter at an old landfill site and black smoke began pouring from the roof into the atmosphere so quickly that passers by thought the whole park was on fire and a man with a clipboard from the environmental agency was bearing down on our would-be time travellers with a vitriolic look upon his face when suddenly the time machine disappeared altogether.

And vanished into nothingness, space and time, nothingness, space and time, and ad infimum. Wondered if it would be possible to fly, so I jumped off a skyscraper to find out. Medical emergency people have such inhuman plastic hands that taste like bubble-gum. I know this because I was getting a molar pulled out at the dentist and bit down as hard as I could. . . . . .

[neilgee]

Am I never to be the man I want to be? If someone would only pinch me then I would believe that this is all a dream. But no! Nothing! I am alone, I am the only one who can help myself. "Nobody cares." I grunt out loudly as I peereed into the distance and there standing like an angel, was my future. Looking glorious in a stunning red dressed, with a bright white laced bolero top, which sat comfortably over her well proportioned breasts. Her golden hair swayed gently by a slight draft as she stood by the doorway calling out to me.


"I'm sorry if this has all got too daft but I can't do anything about it, it's that Mary taking the plot in peculiar directions again. I think it's up to you Joey - or whatever your name is now - as President of the United States to do something about it, like invade Australia right now. I know Mary has a secret stash of chocolate so you could easily square it with the UN afterwards..."

"Hm. You may be right there. But what kind of chocolates are they and is it worth invading a country filled with Kangaroos and fluffly kaolas, just for some wicked chocolates, that a crazy chick made. Oh and just between you and I, I have changed my name to Neil Gee. This way people in Australia, won't know who I am!" He replied as stared at this blonde vision. Was she sent to him as a plot. Was he about to be manipulated into invading Australia, just for her famous chocolates. Valentines Day, can be murder, he thought as he approached her tapped her lightly on the shoulder and said "So are you the famous Mary Gee? Sorry but I'm a little confused here..."

She slid down from her perch by the window and winked at him as if swearing him to secrecy, but she also completely ignored the question and said "If you ask me a feller's got to do something to fill his time!"
"Pardon?" he asked, although he had heard her perfectly clearly, but she just turned away and began humming to himself absently.

"Blimey" he thought to himself, "this Mary's abit of a space cadet, very attractive though..." and so thinking he tried to regain her attention by tapping her on the shoulder again, but she giggled like a school girl and carefully jumped off the tree and onto the ground landing clumsily on her backside. She let out a roar of laughter and turned to Neil. Neil was ogled eyed and in a trance. But he couldn't let her beauty betray his judgement. He had to get away from her and fast, or she would lead him onto dangerous grounds. But how to do it? Where to run?

It was hopeless, he couldn't help himself. He watched her stand up, brush herself clean and followed her. Down the path, past the old green gate and into the local park where a scruffy Irishman was shouting at some schoolboys, a big mistake because he was so drunk he couldn't defend himself in any way and the boys had found a puddle of stagnant water that they began scooping up with their hands to throw at the Irishman. Sensing his helplessness he staggered towards the approaching adults and tried to mingle with them, just standing there beside Neil, Mary, Joey and Frances as they admired the boating lake. The boys hung back while he was near the other adults but...

the boys had discovered a small duck! The first boy loaded two lemons into the duck, and picked it up. He aimed the beak right at the adults and the irishmen. They were completely awstruck at the boys, the tension in the air was thick as watermelons. Suddenly without warning the duck wielding boy fired upon them! The Irishman jumped in the way, coping two lemons right in the chest which blew a hole in him the size of tacos. The adults ran to him, trying to comfort him as the boy reloaded his lemon-duck gun. With his dying breath the irishman said to them.

"when life gives you lemons...' which was kind of pointless really, not having the decency to die until after completing his sentence. But then, as luck would have it, the boy with the duck gun fell over backwards and his head hit a small rock, exploding like a pinata , and the adults frantically raced around trying to catch the sweets that fell around them...

unfortunately this resulted in late onset diabetes for all of them, it was caught too late and they ended up losing all of their limbs. The five of them would sit around, just a bunch of torso's thinking about the days of yore, when they had limbs, and irishmen. "I'm sick of this!" Cried Joey. "im building a time machine!" Now I am not sure if you have ever built a time machine without arms or legs, but it takes a while. So long in fact that Joey died before it was fully operational. But the remaining 4 decided it was a risk worth taking to have their appendages back. They piled into the time machine, and set it for a day before the duck-lemon-shooting. If Joey had still been alive, he would have warned them of the perils of climbing into an unfinished time machine. But he was dead, so all he could say was "*rot*

and rot is exactly what the time machine seemed to do, at least it was giving off a horrid aroma of the pungent gases you might well encounter at an old landfill site and black smoke began pouring from the roof into the atmosphere so quickly that passers by thought the whole park was on fire and a man with a clipboard from the environmental agency was bearing down on our would-be time travellers with a vitriolic look upon his face when suddenly the time machine disappeared altogether.

And vanished into nothingness, space and time, nothingness, space and time, and ad infimum. Wondered if it would be possible to fly, so I jumped off a skyscraper to find out. Medical emergency people have such inhuman plastic hands that taste like bubble-gum. I know this because I was getting a molar pulled out at the dentist and bit down as hard as I could and abruptly everything went white snow-glare in 3D and we found ourselves right back in the park with the drunk still standing behind us and all our arms and legs intact. Wow! The time machine had worked after all! What geniuses we clearly were we said, slapping everybody else on the back, even the drunk, who promptly fell into the pond roaring "I thought you were on my side!"...