Rituals of Love

[Dark Muse]

Rituals of Love

Her dark eyes flashed upon me
and I was lanced to the core of my soul,
the world seemed to swim,
while I swirled with the tang of
Mediterranean perfumes
twined around tendrils of smoke
which teased my nostrils,
and seemed to carry dark whispers
through the dancing candle flames.

The heat rose against my skin,
warmth of a dragon's breath,
which sent my heart into the rhythm
of African drum beats,
her skin slithered across my own,
and soon I was falling within the velvet folds
of feminine garments which passed
over me like vanishing shadows,
I watched dancing upon the walls.

In the distance, with trance-like
hypnotic power, music of the Caribbean played,
steady, reverberating sounds which vibrated
against the soul, and traveled along my rib cage,
as I watched the colors move against dark
caramel skin, while these gypsies of the
night danced, embraced within the sacred power.

I would die a death a thousand times
for a taste of the honey upon her lips,
while she fed me her cherry red wine,
and did I detect the essence of a fate metallic
flavor against my tongue, or was it only a dream,
while I began to slip away, loosing myself
to reality, there was laughter somewhere
and waves of midnight strands,
the sour sweet of her sweat, and faces
growing fainter, I fell it seemed forever
into the warmth of the soft caressing folds
of her dress.

[cogs]

very hypnotic, both for the subject and reader. i like how you covered all the senses, throughout the themes. i do like subtlety.

[MorpheusSandman]

Mmmmmm, so sensual I could just close my eyes and lose myself in the ravishing images. I might suggest trimming it just a bit and tightening up. But I definitely love it; very, very romantic. There's a real scarcity of genuinely sensual, almost erotic poetry around here. I've been thinking of trying to write some myself but it's so difficult to have any kind of original voice on the oldest and most well-worn poetic subject.

[Dark Muse]

very hypnotic, both for the subject and reader. i like how you covered the all the senses, throughout the themes. i do like subtlety.

Thank you very much, it was my intent to try and evoke all of the senses within this poem, so I am glad that it came through and I am greatful on your noticing and comenting upon it.

[Dark Muse]

Mmmmmm, so sensual I could just close my eyes and lose myself in the ravishing images. I might suggest trimming it just a bit and tightening up. But I definitely love it; very, very romantic. There's a real scarcity of genuinely sensual, almost erotic poetry around here. I've been thinking of trying to write some myself but it's so difficult to have any kind of original voice on the oldest and most well-worn poetic subject.

Thank you, yes, I agree this poem is a bit verbose. I am always wary of more sensual and erotic poetry upon this forum because I am not sure just what the rules are here about that sort of thing. But I thought while this one was suggustive, it was subdued enough not to get me in trouble.

[Delta40]

You certainly evoke senses here. passion, touch, smell and taste are all interwoven in this beautiful poem

[cogs]

you've definitely explored most other elements, and i thought your verbs were the least of the best. i could also use some suggestions from you.

[Bar22do]

Oh yes, it is more suggestive and it remains subtle, just a last brush to perfect it if you feel like doing it - but - as it is, it hymns to me eternal energies of combining forces that make this whole existence work (and even if Pandora let out all the evils "gifts" from Zeus jar to infect the earth...)... many thanks!
(was it not Sophia who yesterday offered us the first so sensual and exquisite a poem?)

[MorpheusSandman]

I am not sure just what the rules are here about that sort of thing. I can't imagine the rules being that strict. As long as it doesn't get too graphic and pornographic. Of course, I woudln't have a problem with that either. Maybe contact/ask the board staff/admin?

[paperleaves]

wow, DM, this is something exquisite...so sensual, so swollen with passion...

more, more, more!!!


love
Kate

[firefangled]

Let me try to think of a new adjectives to describe this...evocative, tempestuous and I'll repeat sensuous.

I agree that there should be more subtle erotic poetry around here.

The setting for this was perfect. My wife and I were married in Jamaica and we still remember our second night there dancing to steel drums around a huge bonfire on the beach. That's all I'm going to say now. The point, I can vouch first hand for your poems setting.

[Dark Muse]

Thank you very much.