Lost

[Feets]

Lost that's all I can think of
Nowhere to go
I wouldn't know what to do if I got there anyways
I've never been like this
It's all new to me
What the ****
I'm not supposed to be like this
This is definatly not me
I feel like I just traded places with a completely different person
A person that was all ready ****ed to begin with
Now I inherit all that things I've never had
And I figured out now
I am not the person that deals with this very well
No this is not for me

Maybe I'm not strong enough
Or I just don't know how to handle it
Or a combo of both
Either way is bad and I sure the hell do not like it
I miss laughing and having fun
Actually being able to have fun
I miss the old me
I wonder where the he went and what's he doing

Wherever he's at I hope he's up to his normal shenanigans
Have fun for both of us my friend
Because I can't seem to do it for myself
Drink one for me because I can't myself
I don't miss that and it seems so odd
That I could just stop
Cut it out of my life like that
I would have done it a long time ago
If I would have known it was this easy
Maybe it's the motivation behind this one
The thoughts of what I'd lose
What I've all ready lost because of it
Either way it is I'm glad I'm doing it

That's just one fix to a mountain of things broke
Mainly me
I feel broke I definatly do not feel whole
Not all together
No I feel like there are parts of me spread all over
I'm searching around
Blindly trying to get them back
To rebuild and start over
The parts I do have
Don't seem to fit together right
Im missing something still
The glue that holds my everything together
I know what it is
I know where it is
But it's the thing that tore it all apart in the first place
Now it wants to mend and rebuild
Restart redo whatever you want to call it
And I'm like you *******
Why'd you break it apart in the first place
It wasn't working right
But it didn't need a complete overhaul
Just a tune up
No I got the whole enchilada

Break it down to bare bones
Start all over
Do it right this time
Learn from the mistakes
On both sides
Admit guilt
Have remorse for everything
It doesn't make the pain go away
But it let's me know
Something still there

And it wants to do right by me
And I will try to do the same.

[cogs]

i feel lost sometimes, and i can understand the uncertainty of a cause. i think this contrast is interesting, the result of an unknown agent of change. also, a possible result, had the agent not acted at all.