Like a Moth to a Poet

[~Sophia~]

Like a Moth to a Poet

You don’t think about me, do you - poet?
I mean, why would you... I’m a moth.
One of hundreds circling your light. A
flaming cliche for God’s sake!

Still, I thought you might have noticed
the desperate way I throw myself
at your words

wanting to be cupped in your palm
needing to filter my dusty life through
your cologne tipped fingers

I can’t explain why I become this
tambourine shaking monarch every time
you look in my direction but - oh poet

if just once you’d undress me with daring,
touch me with aching - pen me rare as the
crystal winter breath of a snow leopard
I could be the opus bursting from
your heart.

[Bar22do]

I was missing your poetry! but it was worth waiting... oh poet.

All of this poem is beautiful, intimate and passionate.

" - pen me rare as the
crystal winter breath of a snow leopard
I could be the opus bursting from
your heart."

is simply overwhelming!

This longing is a "dream must come true"!

Moth, an opus burst from your heart.

[ampoule]

Wow! You took the thoughts right out of my head. I think I will write your poem on a frilly Valentine and send it to the poet of my dreams. ;)
I REALLY like this, Sophia.

[Virgil]

I love it! What a brilliant idea to turn a cliche on it's head. Oh, and this was special:

wanting to be cupped in your palm
needing to filter my dusty life through
your cologne tipped fingers

[firefangled]

O fortunate poet to breathe so beautifully and be blessed by beauty breathing!

Sophia, this is magnificent. You are a Luna Moth basking in your own light. Your poet is indeed a lucky poet. The last two stanzas are amazing images.

[~Sophia~]

Dearest Bar! It's hardly an opus but, you are always such a generous reader. Thanks so very much!

________________________________

LOL Amp... go ahead... the one I wrote about will never read it. Thanks sweets!


_________________________________

Virgil! You know what they say... turn about is fair play. Poor maligned cliches just needed someone to speak on their behalf. Thanks friend!!

________________________________

Ah fire... there are times you are the poet. In fact there are times most everyone who writes here is "the poet". Truth is, I had a poet once... he didn't think about me. Thanks for your beautifully poetic reply!

[firefangled]

I had a poet once... he didn't think about me.

So very much his loss.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Poor moth, his/her poet will always have the last word - so deservedly in this case.

It reminds me of an experience I had at an all male week-end, at the end of which we were each invited to stand in front of our fellow participants and say what the week-end had meant to us. I declined the specific instruction but announced that I had a burning desire to hear a group of men sing, in unison:


Falling in love again, I never wanted to.
What am I to do? I can't help it.
Men cluster to me like moths around a flame.
If they get their wings burned, I know I'm not to blame...

But they would have to (and did) do it in their best imitation of Marlene Dietrich.

[qimissung]

Just when you think there is nothing, nothing more to be said about moths, or light or flame someone comes along and puts together a group of words that illuminates all our tired, collective, mothe-eaten ideas. Brava, ~Sophia~!

[~Sophia~]

Hi Prince. Though I can't really tell from your comment whether or not you liked the poem, thanks for stopping by and sharing the highlights of your boy's weekend with us!

____________________

Thanks qim! It's just the little dream of a tired cliche...

____________________

and thanks again ff > hug

[PrinceMyshkin]

Hi Prince. Though I can't really tell from your comment whether or not you liked the poem, thanks for stopping by and sharing the highlights of your boy's weekend with us!


Oh, I liked it all right! Without meaning to take anything away from your other poems, I was delighted to encounter you in such a light-hearted mode.

[~Sophia~]

So glad you liked it but as for being in a lighthearted mood, let's just say I wasn't.

[PrinceMyshkin]

So glad you liked it but as for being in a lighthearted mood, let's just say I wasn't.

It's not a position I aspire to but I appear to be your misreader-in-chief.

[~Sophia~]

It's not a position I aspire to but I appear to be your misreader-in-chief.

That's true. No worries though. ... All art is subjective and open to personal interpretation. Cheers!

[paperleaves]

I especially enjoyed "your cologne tipped fingers"--what an image!

There's an entire poem in that short line, and if that gives you any inclination as to what I think of the other lines, then you've got yourself a fan! What a beautiful piece this is, thanks for sharing, Sophia!

love
Kate

[Buh4Bee]

How romantic! Sophia, I hope Paris is making you an even better poet, although I'm not sure how you could get better. Well done, my friend.

I loved:
A
flaming cliche for God’s sake!

I can’t explain why I become this
tambourine shaking monarch every time
you look in my direction but - oh poet

what words!!!

You say more with less, I only wish I could...

[~Sophia~]

Hi paper! To be honest, I struggled with and have an alternate to "your cologne tipped fingers". In another version it's "your pheromone tipped fingers". The whole bug/animal kingdom thing since a moth might not recognize or appreciate cologne but... in the end, I went with cologne because a poets words are often aromatic. On the other hand, they can be very sexy too. I'm torn.

Anyway... thanks!!!!
__________________________________

Hi Jersea... maybe it's because Valentine's Day is creeping up and like most people, I think it would be wonderful to be in love (or at least have a lover). Thanks for your gracious comments!

[MorpheusSandman]

I'm not sure I have much to add to all the praise but I also found this quite magnificent. Such an impeccable use of metaphor, simile and imagery; the form is elegance itself with the utmost economy. It somehow manages to both show and tell simultaneously. It's rich, but not too much so. It just strikes a perfect poetic balance. I love the idea of personifying poetic subject as a moth. It makes a poet ponder all of the unexplored lands they've yet to look on and try to capture through text and perhaps even all those they don't even know exists.

[Revolte]

this was beautiful!

[cogs]

every time i want to comment, i reread, and am left speechless. the delicate butterfly is sweet, attempting to allure the poet... isn't every poets' hope to not miss simple beauty, even if it's invisible? interesting poem and lesson.

[~Sophia~]

It makes a poet ponder all of the unexplored lands they've yet to look on and try to capture through text and perhaps even all those they don't even know exists.

I think we all tend to overlook the old sneakers under the bed but think of the places they've been and the stories they could tell! Thanks for reading and your kind, kind comments!

__________________________________

Thanks Revolte > nice of you to say that!

__________________________________

Hi Cogs > I'm so glad you did comment! Thanks a bunch!

[PrinceMyshkin]

Hi paper! To be honest, I struggled with and have an alternate to "your cologne tipped fingers". In another version it's "your pheromone tipped fingers". The whole bug/animal kingdom thing since a moth might not recognize or appreciate cologne but... in the end, I went with cologne because a poets words are often aromatic. On the other hand, they can be very sexy too. I'm torn.

Personally, I'm so glad you went with "cologne" because "pheromone" might have seemed clinical, i.e., anti-romantic, and to be a more self-conscious choice.

[Virgil]

Oh, "cologne" is way better. ;)

[Bar22do]

definitely! be blessed for "cologne"!

[~Sophia~]

"cologne" it is then... absolutely... "cologne"! Thanks everyone for the input. I'm no longer torn! Kiss kiss (on both cheeks)

[PrinceMyshkin]

"cologne" it is then... absolutely... "cologne"! Thanks everyone for the input. I'm no longer torn! Kiss kiss (on both cheeks)



Like cologne to a poet
who might otherwise have written
"pheromone" is this day:
the bitter Montreal cold
that is read on the skin
long before the slow brain
can translate it.

[blank|verse]

I don't know whether to laugh or cry reading this!

I like the pitch of your voice thoroughout - it starts off very passionately angry and accusatory, before diminishing with each stanza as your anger subsides and your true feelings shine through - that of this desperate unrequited love - which I think reflects a very human, and feminine, response very well!

I also thought this phrase


pen me rare

was extraordinary, as it comes extremely close to saying 'rape me', particularly coming straight after your desire to be 'undressed'. Maybe a slightly too Freudian reading of that, but who knows?

And just a note of pedantry - isn't a 'monarch' a butterfly, not a moth? Or is that the point? It's a lovely image, but I can't decide if you mean 'nervous' or 'attention-seeking' - maybe both?

[~Sophia~]

PM, are you saying I'm slow? Actually, it is written both ways. I used the "pheromone" version on another site I post to but, here on Litnet... it will stay cologne.
_____________________________

Blnk_vrz > I didn't intend to sound angry in the opening. More deafeated, admitting that there is not much to look at. Just a moth.

"pen me rare", hmmm, I wasn't thinking rape but definitely hoping for a sensual encounter. I think rape is violent and about power and nothing whatsoever to do with sensuality. I understand some people fantasize about it but, nope... that wasn't part of my thought process.

The changing of the moth to a butterfly when the poet looks at her is a bit of both. It's that nervous debutant falling down the steps in her gown and the feeling of wanting to be something she perceives he could love. From a common white household moth to a spectacular flashy monarch which is why she says "pen me rare as the crystal winter breath of a snow leopard". Because I paint as well, I saw it that way in my mind. A snow leopard (in snow of course) his breath a cluster of small white crystalized moths. Uncommon, unordinary, beautiful.

Thanks for reading and your thoughtful comments!!!!!

[PrinceMyshkin]

PM, are you saying I'm slow? Actually, it is written both ways. I used the "pheromone" version on another site I post to but, here on Litnet... it will stay cologne.

Who's misreading whom, now? I admit, however, that the logic of my wee poetic response is somewhat convoluted, but what I meant to say is that one reads and understands "cologne" immediately, whereas "pheromone" necessitates a retreat to one's cerebellum, with consequent loss of visceral immediacy.

[~Sophia~]

Ah, that makes perfect sense now. Thanks for the explanation! Did you know that perfume manufacturers use pheromones? They try all different combinations hoping to find the magic potion that will make someone irresistible. I think they should just bottle poets.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Ah, that makes perfect sense now. Thanks for the explanation! Did you know that perfume manufacturers use pheromones? They try all different combinations hoping to find the magic potion that will make someone irresistible. I think they should just bottle poets.

Ét voila! I see the beginning of an exciting new line of products:


Eau de Verlaine!
Divina di Dante!
Bile of Bukowski!
Miasma of Milton!

[Bar22do]

Like a Moth to a Poet

You don’t think about me, do you - poet?
I mean, why would you... I’m a moth.
One of hundreds circling your light. A
flaming cliche for God’s sake!

Still, I thought you might have noticed
the desperate way I throw myself
at your words

wanting to be cupped in your palm
needing to filter my dusty life through
your cologne tipped fingers

I can’t explain why I become this
tambourine shaking monarch every time
you look in my direction but - oh poet

if just once you’d undress me with daring,
touch me with aching - pen me rare as the
crystal winter breath of a snow leopard
I could be the opus bursting from
your heart.

I already commented on your poem and have no other reason to bump it up than my pleasure to give an opportunity to more readers to discover its intimate beauty... :nod:

[~Sophia~]

Thanks Bar! I don't believe in bumping but, I'm grateful!