Woodland Angel: A Cycle

[Pendragon]

Woodland Angel: A Cycle

Life is carried via invisible spores,
borne on the crest of wafting breezes
to a place of incubation,
where it feeds on the many nutrients
released by decaying organic matter,
until it is reborn,
Angelic-white, nigh irresistible.
The hiker sees it there
at the end of the day,
as he rounds a trailbend whistling,
Thinking about supper.
The tender, succulent morsels
are cut up into a stew
and eaten with gusto.
Memo in trail log:
Picked wild mushrooms for supper. Delicious!
Sometime later come the rending pains,
dizziness, disorientation, nausea, Death.
Life is carried via invisible spores,
borne on the crest of wafting breezes
to a place of incubation
where it feeds on the many nutrients
released by decaying organic matter—
nearby lies a skeleton with a pack…

Pendragon

[paperleaves]

Ooh! What a haunting, memorable piece this proves to be, Pen! There is something uniquely disturbing (if you will) about the last few lines that shocks the reader into smiling at your clever repetition. Thanks for sharing!

love
Kate

[PrinceMyshkin]

That



Memo in trail log:
Picked wild mushrooms for supper. Delicious!


is a most effective turning point, a glimpse into someone's misguided innocence!

[Alexander III]

Wow what a great poem, I really enjoy the theme. For some reason this poem reminds me of the fate of Christopher McCandless.

[Buh4Bee]

Yes, it does. But we weren't sure.

Awesome poem Pen.

[firefangled]

Enjoyed this, Pen.

I would put a stanza break after, "Picked wild mushrooms for supper. Delicious!"

[Bar22do]

I only add my applause to this exquisite moment of poetry, of deceptive swarming of life and hunting death... thanks

[blank|verse]

Yeah, there's an argument to say you should just stop the poem after the 'Delicious!' line; I think you've said enough for the reader to work out the hiker's fate.

And a stanza break after


Angelic-white, nigh irresistible.

wouldn't be a bad thing.

Other than that, it's very prose-y and I think I would just like to read more poetry as I've said with PrinceMyshkin's work.

[MorpheusSandman]

I think the beginning and middle is much stronger than the end where I think the repetition isn't really needed. I'm inclined to think it would be a stronger piece if you ended it after "Delicious!" as well or if you added a coda that alluded to the death by those mushrooms without being so obvious.

I should also mention the piece kinda reminded me of Into the Wild...

[qimissung]

Yeah, I guess you put the baby to bed with the ending. I suspect that will not bother you a whit. It's a great piece, Pendragon, really caught me by surprise. I like the prose feel, a fan of it in fact, since I use it occasionally myself.

[cogs]

lol, as soon as i saw the hiker, that was the end. would have liked to see him angelic white, decaying organic matter, in a closing line. the plot sort of mushroomed and replicated. SPORES!

[Buh4Bee]

:lol::lol::lol:

[Pendragon]

Thanks, guys. The poem was actually published in a magazine that is somewhere in a drawer, can't recall the name now. As I retained the copywrite, I can post it when and where I please. I wanted to get the reaction of litnet. You guys rock!