Minimalist Poetry Contest

[drago]

Anesthesia
Four years ago,
Scabbed over -
Cut, cut, cut
Me up?
And if I wrote a thousand
Sonnets -
Each one more carefully
Than the rest,
Would I be avoiding you?
Avoiding me, at best.
Band aids gave way
To thighs and hips,
Saliva ships,
Crashing into your Rock of Gibraltar
And I fear I’m
Far too
Seasick
To remember.

[jajdude]

He offered children candy
The young ones found him kind
Their families went off elsewhere
The twins stayed behind

Now let's have some fun
Let's see what we can do
You go here and you go here
I wonder who is who

Uncle Mengele
He acted nice and sweet
He had a butcher shop
He liked to deal with meat

[autolycus]

No rose-red cities nor the mighty ships
Just sudden darkness and distant poundings
An itch I couldn't scratch and silent lips
Slack and still set soft in my surroundings

They went all armed once more into my breach
Their blades and tools into the deeper mines
A sea of islands on a distant reach
A hidden jungle grown festooned with vines

They cut my freedom from the world they found
They took my green redoubt, my ancient ground
They built me cities, called for elections
Cast their doubt like stones on my selections
They cut my soul, a cancer, from my land
And made me suck the money-making gland

[Pendragon]

I broke my leg as a teen somewhat wild
The doctor that set it made a mistake
One year later it snapped again
They said surgery was my only hope of avoiding going lame
I remember how scared I was lying on that table
Wondering if I'd wake up again
I saw five seconds slip by on the clock
Then I woke up in recovery
Cold weather always brings back the memory
When the metal in my ankle stabs pain
At least I can still walk and even run...

Pendragon

[autolycus]

Here's a comment...

I've noticed that our 'minimalist' poems are getting less and less minimalist. I am appalled that I just wrote a sonnet and passed it off as minimalist, which it clearly is not. I'm so sorry. :(

[DieterM]

…doo-Doom…
…doo-Doom…
Pick up your scalpel
Cut through my flesh

…doo-Doom…
…doo-Doom…
Crush my ribs and pull it out
That darn pulsing lump

…doo-Doom…
…doo-Doom…
Take it out, take it
Hold it up, bleeding, red

…doo-Doom…
…doo-Doom…
It still hurts, you know,
Under the cold neon light

…doo… d…
… …
Hurts less now
Than when it beat for you

[YesNo]

The flat line has begun to form,
A new exception to the norm.

I try to tell them I don't mind:
That light refreshingly feels kind.

[qimissung]

Invisible Surgery

the man with the
sightless eyes
leans over me
his hand
with rusty knife
begins its invisible
surgery

a bloodletting
the corpus christi
flows
benign and mirthful
down my throat
streaking the white
with the memory of birth and violence

but of all this I remain unaware
the blood is gone
the light is all around
and all I can hear is your
laughter, good, and clean,
and strong

Qimissung
December 2010

[krymsonkyng]

We've got plenty of excellent entries thus far, but only one day remains! I'll judge the entries around six tomorrow night, so there's plenty of time if anyone wants to take a last stab at maximizing the potency of their language.

[jajdude]

Death comes

happy

but

sad

[krymsonkyng]

Lots o good entries. Let's take a look, shall we?

Dark Muse- Great concrete imagery, my favorite lines are:
"white hot pain
beneath the cold knife,
a heart beat of awareness,"

SarahDrago- Excellent manipulation of form, your poem reminded me of the groggies post op. Favorite lines were:
"And if I wrote a thousand
Sonnets -" and
"Saliva ships,"

jajdude- Two entries it seems, so I'll go with the most recent poem.Truly bare bones and simple, you use several potent words to create a strange dichotomy surrounding death. I most enjoyed the simplicity created through formatting and a lack of punctuation.

Autolycus- Wow. Your poem straddles both micro and macro at once. Either the world is operated on, or the speaker is, or both. In three stanzas a story that winds back into itself is told with a florid and colorful portrayal of Gaia under the knife. Very well done, my favorite lines included the last line's punch, and
"They went all armed once more into my breach
Their blades and tools into the deeper mines"

Pendragon- Touching and personal, Pendragon, your work is always a pleasure. In my opinion, the poem sports a steady flow and an intricate rhyme scheme surrounding the solid imagery. It is a bittersweet tale, in that order. Favorite lines:
"I broke my leg as a teen somewhat wild" and
"When the metal in my ankle stabs pain
At least I can still walk and even run..."

DieterM- Good repetition using the ominous heart beat's "Doom" that reminded me of "Bodies" from the Smashing Pumpkins for some reason. Strong.
Favorite lines:
"It still hurts, you know,
Under the cold neon light"

YesNo- A nice bite in rigid form, and highly efficient. It's the kind of short that you can carry around and think about. For the nice little break my favorite lines were:
"I try to tell them I don't mind:
That light refreshingly feels kind. "

Qimisung- Haunting. I went through line by line, and I am still unsure of whether I should be afraid, or satisfied by the speaker's sacrifice. There seem to be two voices within the last two stanzas. Each stanza carries several lines that strike the reader, but my favorites were:
"streaking the white
with the memory of birth and violence"
"laughter, good, and clean,
and strong"

Good entries, all. I enjoyed going through each, weighing and balancing who, for me at least, provided the most bang with the least blah. For me, that was Autolycus. Congratulations, you win this round.

[qimissung]

Congratulations, Autolycus. A fine poem, but then yours always are. I do not, however, know what it means.

Also, per your earlier comment, you have a point, but please don't make us be too minimilist. Although I like the challenge, minimilism is essentially a state of mind, isn't it? :D

[DieterM]

Most sincere congrats, Autolycus. I just love this contest as it allows us to discover so many great poems!

[autolycus]

krymsonkyng, thank you very much for the honour...

qimissung and DieterM: thank you very much for the encouragement...

...and to all my worthy colleagues, thank you all for the continuing inspiration!

=====

The subject of the next contest will be: Zero.

I don't think it can be much more minimalist than that! :)

Let's make the deadline midnight GMT, between 2359 on 9 Jan 2011 and 0001 on 10 Jan 2011. :)

[moonbird]

infinity
confined
to finite dimensions

a nonentity
destroyer of
sanity

black oblivion
white void

matter
time
ripped apart
shredded
then stitched back together
mutated
strange
and unruly

two
half-entities
so perfectly
opposite
that they are
identical
indistinguishable
two parts
of a whole

unending optical illusions
invisible infinity
false randomness

conjoined twins
one cannot
function
without the other

blasting us with
nothingness
until we are
blinded by darkness
deafened by silence

impossibility
meets
reality

[Pendragon]

There is no sound in a vacuum
No joy in a frozen heart
Absolute zero is more than a temperature
For some it's a way of life...

[blank|verse]

zero

the discovery of
zero

left them
none
the wiser

[YesNo]

A zero here, a zero there won't get you anywhere.

[Silas Thorne]

.....oh!

[moonbird]

ahhh... your guys' poems are a lot more "minimalist" than mine :)

[firefangled]

people
wait
in your head,

aspirin
on the radio
is there,
you too,
a poem,

almost —

ringing phone

[firefangled]

mistaken posting

[jajdude]

One needs one, nothing to do;
One meets one, one has two;
One hurts one, one runs away;
One is cold, one is clay;
One has no one, no one for fun,
One has nothing, one has none.

[autolycus]

Hmmm. Some of you have posted comments which might (fortunately or unfortunately) be mistaken for entries, being pretty minimalist themselves. So sorry, but could you please let me know (especially if your entry is a single line), if it is meant to be a comment? By default, I shall assume they are all entries. :D

[YesNo]

Hmmm. Some of you have posted comments which might (fortunately or unfortunately) be mistaken for entries, being pretty minimalist themselves. So sorry, but could you please let me know (especially if your entry is a single line), if it is meant to be a comment? By default, I shall assume they are all entries. :D

My single line offering was supposed to be a poem. (But who knows what it is. :) )

I formatted it below to make it look more like a poem. Nice topic by the way.

Zero

A zero here, a zero there
Won't get you anywhere.

[moonbird]

Hmmm. Some of you have posted comments which might (fortunately or unfortunately) be mistaken for entries, being pretty minimalist themselves. So sorry, but could you please let me know (especially if your entry is a single line), if it is meant to be a comment? By default, I shall assume they are all entries. :D

my 12/14 post is a comment

[DieterM]

Nut tree lifting
its bare branches
like snow-covered arms

Each step a crunch
on the frozen meadow
a white ocean

Alone in winter
with temperatures
below zero

[autolycus]

Excellent, all, so far. I can foresee headaches... :)

[Silas Thorne]

My earlier posting was a joke. Perhaps you could also take it as a poem. :)

[krymsonkyng]

It was nt
until the discver y
f nil
_
that math culd prgress
where ever it will

[Haunted]

#0



I’m just fine thanks
yes I got disconnected
no I don’t know the number
no don’t know the name either
ummm actually...........
...........
I have no one to call.
none.
................did you know
......you can implode
in a void
here I am, alone
in a dark place
dying inside as we speak
...
operator can you please
reconnect me

[RaoulDuke]

Zero -
12 o'clock,
Ironsights, muzzleflash,
Potassium nitrate, sickly sweet,
Cast iron earthquake;
The rising sun smoulders
With Bellerophon's fury...
Pain,
Darkness,
Zero.

[zoolane]

Zero Hour

Zero hour approach in dead of sleep.
The body stir with never ending time loop.
The zero hour here.
My stomach cramp with pain.
Did I leave my latest Stephen King in here?

[autolycus]

Results to be announced soon!

[autolycus]

Hello. I was right, a few days in, to realise with sinking heart that there were going to be too many good entries...

There was Moonbird's 'Black Hole', an infinity of nothing, with all the paradox that implies, as well as the clever idea of 00 being ∞ (or something else, even, maybe '..').

Then came Pendragon's neat juxtaposition of the physics and the human condition.

And blank|verse's elegantly typeset, playful little 'zero'. Clever.

And YesNo's little non-geography lesson, so to speak.

Silas Thorne gave me a problem though. I wasn't sure how to read the five little dots. Surely there was an ellipsis in there somewhere. Or not. Then I had an eureka moment and said, "Oh!"

A difficult test was posed by firefangled. The first poem was pretty sharp, a dramatic thumbnail. The second (as usual) supersedes the first. But was the second, 'mistake deleted', meant to be a poem? If so, it was as much a potential winner as the first, and as much a potential winner as the others. But was it an entry?

Jajdude came up with a motif very much like a traditional nursery rhyme. Here was creepy excellence. Or binary excellence. I was beginning to lose myself in ones and nones. Or something.

And then DieterM, who wrote a poem I wished I could have written. Sigh. That nut tree got into my dreams.

It was typical of kryms-nkyng to write s-mething clever which was als- a p-tted hist-ry. The 'h-les' in it were pretty -bvi-us. It's alm-st a classic clerihew. S-rt -f.

I really wished Haunted's poem hadn't quite been so haunting. I could just about imagine a missing persona trying hard not to be quite so missing, and... missing.

And RaoulDuke's evocative rising sun smouldering with Bellerophon's fury, like some mad hybrid of WW2 and Greek myth. Argh. Another great Zero.

The last entry was zoolane's. Understated, with lovely flavour and balance.

=====

And I was stuck. They were pretty much all genuine winners. So I had to make some losers, and none deserved to be. This is the nightmare of everybody who has to moderate such contests around here. Many of you know this well.

=====

I had to settle this by making myself this really picky person. It's hard to decide in the narrow space between zero and zero. I had five winners after a long hard look. But that was technically still four too many. You need one choice so that you get one person running the next show...

=====

In the end, that person was RaoulDuke. Every line has a zero of time, space, existence. There is the beginning of the end and the end of beginning. From one kind of Zero to another. RD, you win because it was a hero among zeroes. Go ahead, start the next one!

And there is an honorable mention for firefangled's 'mistake deleted'. I had to reason that an entry which got rid of itself should win ANY minimalist poetry contest, and hence should be disqualified in a way.

Thanks, everybody! :)

[DieterM]

Congrats to RaoulDuke, and I feel the heavy responsability of you, dear autolycus, because as you've said, there have been really so many different ways of celebrating zero in so many little poetic gems. Let me just correct you, autolycus: in my sense, there are never any losers in this contest. I at least always feel like such a winner only in participating and in reading the other contestants' entries. Some make me mull over them for a long time, some make me giggle, some make me want to be able to write material as good as the one offered on here. For those to whom I haven't said it yet: all my best wishes for this new year!

[Pendragon]

Nice going, RaoulDuke! :wave:

[moonbird]

Congrats RaoulDuke! :)

[jajdude]

Props to RD, and good job all.

[Haunted]

RaoulDuke, yours would be my top pick too. Congrats!

[RaoulDuke]

Thankyou all. A good contest with some stiff competiton; all entries had their merits but I was particularly fond of DieterM's frosty little gem.

The next subject is sunset and I will set the deadline as midnight on the 8th of February - good luck!

[YesNo]

Congrats, RaoulDuke! Here's one to start off the new contest:


Sunset

Across the bay the sun has set.
The rain tonight won't get it wet.

[moonbird]

the richly-painted horizon
an explosion of vibrant color
dims like a flickering bulb
and fades to shimmering black sky

[Dark Muse]

Fire breaks
through
the sky
in one brief
splendid
moment
of rapture
and than

darkness

[DieterM]

The golden ball dives
into its own reflection
on orange waves

My healthy hunger and I
arise from our vault
with fangs politely bared

I'm not mad about apples
if they're not Adam's –
my 'Juicy Fluid Appetizers'

Spotted a sweet-necked girl
in the 'Crushing Wave' bar
downing gin tonic after gin tonic

So I might get plastered tonight
'Poor girl' you say? what is life
to one who ain't living?

[jajdude]

...................................morning........ ......................
............................and...............the. .......................
........................in........................ ..in......................
..................the............................. .....rose..............
......evening..................................... ..........sun.......
.set.............................................. ....................The

[RaoulDuke]

24 hours (ish) left to submit an entry.

Five posted so far, and a diverse batch to be sure.

[krymsonkyng]

Where do the birds go
when the sun's past low
and the skies are burning
the treetops turning into
fodder for fantasy?

[Pendragon]

Fiery ball of life giving light
Taking a plunge into the sea
To refresh for its next moment on stage
Encore! Encore!

Pendragon

[RaoulDuke]

Fortunately your respective poetry is better than my timekeeping :frown5:

YesNo - A lovely example of a minimalist poem. There are echoes of Hemingway in your simple description of the sun setting over the sea. Two short lines that add up to a very stirring description, and yet leave much for the reader to fill in for themselves.

moonbird - Paints a vivid picture with some evocative words; "flickering" and shimmering" are perfect for the aftermath of the dying sun.

Dark Muse - After reading your poem I assumed that you intended line 8 to read "and then". A short and sweet entry that captures the euphoria of the moment but I was left wanting for some more descriptive language to leap out from the screen and set my imagination off wandering.

DieterM - Macabre yet lecherous, gruesome yet sensual. You've taken the theme down a very dark alley and it absolutely worked!

Jajdude - The notion of the sun setting in the west completely evaded me and it took numerous readings to find the true beginning of your poem. A clever idea, but as with DarkMuse's entry it didn't set a spark between my ears.

krymsonkyng - I absolutely love the idea of the setting sun as "Fodder for fantasy" and how you have inserted a delicate rhyming scheme into such a short poem.

Pendragon - A refreshing take on the matter that leaves the reader wanting more (and indeed shouting "Encore"). The world is a stage, but does it host a a melodrama or a farce?


My winner this round is krymsonkyng. Five short lines that add up to far more than the sum of their parts - the very essence of minimalist poetry. Your poem captured the magic of the moment far more than any other, and for this reason it's over to you maestro...

[jajdude]

well done krymsonkyng, a good one

[DieterM]

congrats! another excellent round with many excellent new poems!

[moonbird]

Congrats krymsonkyng, a deserving win!

[krymsonkyng]

Thank you to everyone who participated! The next deadline shall be 5 March, and the topic for this next round will be Book Covers. Contest begins... Now!

[autolycus]

Stiff spine
Smooth face

I wonder what
Book covers when
Not being Book

[YesNo]

Congratulations, krymsonkyng! Here is one for the next contest.


Book Covers

They tease of joys they barely hide,
Spread-opened secrets deep inside.

[moonbird]

Golden swirls, slanted together
Form calligraphic letters
Singing songs of stories
Yet untold
To entrance our eyes
And call us to read

[blank|verse]

Your Book

Under the covers
let me flick
the pages
of your book

[DieterM]

I book a flight to New York
I book in at the Waldorf Astoria

I book car-rides and concerts
And a blonde hooker from Pittsburgh

Then I grow bored with my life
And call a Lookalike-agency where I

Book covers…

[Pendragon]

Never judge
a book by its cover
that which we call diamonds
were once a lump of coal

[krymsonkyng]

Thanks to all the great entries so far!
To everyone else,
the deadline is mere days away! March 5th will be here before you know it, and you will regret not taking part in this game. Go go go go go!

[RaoulDuke]

Sand in the pages
and blood on the blurb
A cover painted pale by the Afghan sun.

Pages in the sand
and blood on the curb
A brother painted pale by an Afghan son.

[jajdude]

Flashy loud covers: too much make up, insecure;
Torn covers: dressed in rags;
Dull covers: clothed in gray;
Quiet covers: gems within.

[krymsonkyng]

Sorry everyone, weekending at the moment. I'll post the winner this Monday!

[krymsonkyng]

Autolycus- Oddly enough, this reminds me of Book from Firefly. I reeeeally like Firefly.
YesNo- A pleasant rhyming couplet that sums up the subject matter well.
moonbird- Sweet description in a short package. Well written.
blank|verse- Wow, that's eheh... well done! In four lines, eleven words for a librarian's pickup line. I'm blushing. Good work.
DieterM- Excellent spin on the topic, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and considering the lifestyle. Fun.
Pendragon- A simple and eloquent iteration of the common phrase. A good fact to remember.
RaoulDuke- Wow. What a six line switch. The scene becomes more clear with a quick punch to the gut. I've got a brother in Afghanistan, this resonates with me.
jajdude- An interesting analysis on the nature of book covers. Simple, and it begs more thought from the reader. Looking at my bookshelf I found myself trying to classify the things I have read and want to read.

This is... This is a pretty terrible task. Thank you to everyone who participated. Wonderful poems all, but in the end it came down to four or so entries that really hit. First prize though, goes to RaoulDuke. Congratulations!

[moonbird]

Congrats RaoulDuke! :)

[jajdude]

Well done RD, a deserving win.

[RaoulDuke]

Thanks very much folks, and krymsonkyng - an excellent choice :D

The next theme is The Old (Wo)Man and the Sea. Post your entries by 1st of April (I shall try to refrain from fooling around too much when judging).

[moonbird]

last night i dreamt of
you, my prized catch,
roaming free again
in all your magnificence
a silver and black
silhouette
above the gray waves
and your sword
slashing the air

[Dark Muse]

Temptress

Hypnotic
voices speak
tantalizing rhythms

come hither come hither

Into the deep
darkness abound
temptation
of secrets kept

She
Enchantress
alluring
with smooth
graceful movements

come away come away

Sings
a thousand songs
of forgetfulness
and sorrow.

[DieterM]

Very well done, indeed, RD, and what a good pick for the new round!

Here's my entry:

The Blind Man

Walking slow-motion along the empty beach
A lonesome, wordless tune on my lips
Salt on my cheeks and spray like tears
And in my mind a bitter taste

Seagulls screech around the blind old man
Who’s on his knees in the wet sand
I stand and stare and throw two coins
Into his wind-worn, shabby hat

He reaches out, brushes away my sobs
Rocks me to sleep, and things fall into place
Then comes high tide and floods him away
And leaves me back alone and cold

To carry the burden of my shallow self

[YesNo]

The tsunami came. The man was gone
Who watched the rising of the sea.
He joined the others rushed upon
By water moving restlessly.

[Pendragon]

Beside the sea, the salt air stings
He watches the birds fly by on wings
Dreaming of dreams he'll never see
The lonely old man who sits by the sea

[jajdude]

The sea waves.

That's all she does.

[RaoulDuke]

The deliberation is over; poets of LitNet hold your breath no longer!

moonbird - a more literal homage to the book and a great description an angler's adualtion for his prize catch. Simple, effective. I like it.
Dark Muse - a beautiful personification of the sea, the bringer of woe and fortune to many a person down the ages.The poem has mystical overtones while remaining grounded in the realm of the physical world.
Dieter M - atmospheric with an introspective twist. I like some how the 'bitter taste' follows on from the salty describtion of the sea. I was left with the sounds of the ocean in my ears and the smell in my nostrils.
YesNo - a touching poem focusing on an individual caught up in a national tradegy. Sometimes in an event of awesome scale its easy to get lost among the numbers.
Pendragon - a meloncholy little number with a simple rhyme to it. Again, the picture it paints adds up to much more than four short lines.
jajdude - sticking rigidly to minimalist theme, good on you! The first time I read it I took it as a cheeky observation, but now I'm not so sure. I have in my head the image of lone figure looking out over the sea annoyed at something and venting their frustration on the world they see around them. Although, this is probably me projecting a meaning upon a poem that isn't there. Anyway...

A tricky one to call, but my favourite is the poem by Dark Muse.

[moonbird]

Well done Dark Muse! I was mystified by your poem as well :)

[DieterM]

Indeed a worthy winner, DarkMuse. I was torn between your poem and, strangely enough, jajdudes (much like RaoulDuke, I thought I could read more things between the lines than in the lines). I'm waiting impatiently for the next round – this contest is not only fun but always reveals fine pieces of poetry and helps us all, I gather, to improve…

[Dark Muse]

Thank you very much, and I will work on thinking of the next subject

[Dark Muse]

For the next one I decdied to go with an image.

So enjoy and I look forward to seeing what you all come up with.

http://img3.visualizeus.com/thumbs/09/02/02/girls,hot,branch,tattoo,art,photo,self,portrait-02cc84d39708db8bf3463ebbea5ad58d_h.jpg


Deadline April 30th

[YesNo]

Upon her side a flower shows
Dark like her hair that also flows.

[tailor STATELY]

Fair Hamadryad

A portrait of the wood nymph
Would do no justice to her grace
The sun, the moon, the stars in heaven
Are all diminished by her face

No poem - be it written with the choicest
Words a mortal could conceive
Would ever catch her matchless beauty
And lead one to disbelief

A song of unbridled love accompanied by
Golden lyre - sung for all eternity
Could offer, still, no recompense
Nor match her soliloquy

:tailor STATELY

[moonbird]

There once was a girl
And she was beautiful.

A man asked once
To paint on her skin
As it was so pure and fair.

Now the man is gone.

His painting remains.

[Pendragon]

When the canvas is skin, and the medium is ink
Sometime the result is a grand masterpiece

[breathtest]

It eats her, the tattoo,
like the parting words
of a generation

[DieterM]

born to turn your back on people
gracefully straight your spine indeed
reminding of Japanese woodcut prints
of old

your life remains sad and empty though,
your story written in black and white
as you invent it again and again and anew
overnight

crystal lies fly out of your mouth
truths as twisted as a tatoo tree
with branches rambling up your skin
your canvas

[jajdude]

He's gone and she's alone
With memories and longing
Carved into her like a stone

[Dark Muse]

I want to thank everyone who has entered with thier great entires so far, and remind you all that the dealine is five days away, so those who have not entered yet, don't delay.

[krymsonkyng]

Tarp below canvas.
A paintbrush of needles. Art
demands sacrifice

[Dark Muse]

Ok for once I am actually on time with this. I know the last few times I have got behind in my judging.

I want to thank everyone for your great entries which I enjoyed reading and which made my job difficult as always, but now here goes:

YesNo: I love the way in which you say so true to the minimalist style, and captured such an elegant moment in only two brief lines. You have captured the beauty of the image and I also enjoyed the way in which you incorporated the use of rhyme in the poem.

tailor STATELY: I loved the subject of your poem, and I thought you captured some wonderful imagery. I really enjoyed the style of Romanticism which came through in your words, and how you gave it such a classical feeling. You gave a beautiful story to the image.

moonbird: I really liked your use of minimalism, and the way in which you were able to tell a complete story within such few words as well I think the last line of the poem does leave a lasting impression upon the mind which reflects the effect to the painted image.

Pendragon: I like the touch of humor which your poem had. I really enjoyed the opening/first line of the poem and it caught my attention right away making me curious to see what would come next, and something about the last line gave my a chuckle and I enjoyed the overall concept of the idea.

breathtest: I have to see I really enjoyed this one. A great use of minimalism and I loved the originality within your poem. I loved the way in which you were able to capture the image without running the risk of becoming too literal in simply describing it, but you gave your own unique impression of it and provided a very different approach. This poem was a very near runner up.

DieterM: First of all I have to say I loved the title of your poem. I loved your reference to the Japanese woodcuts because when I was first seeking out a picture, I started by trying to find a good image of a cherry blossom tree because of coming spring, and ended up coming across all these beautiful sensual images of Japanese styled tattoos of cherry blossoms, which led me to this image, so I was under the Asian influence in choosing this picture. You have some beautiful lines and I love that touch of melancholy and sadness within your poem, particularly I found the 2nd stanzas to be quite moving. I loved the line "crystal lies fly out of your mouth" and thought that the last stanza was very powerful.

krymsonkyng: I thought you were able to create a very powerful poem in the use of such few words, and I really enjoyed the way in which I could feel the sparseness within your poem. There is a subtle suggestion to it which leaves one with the feeling of things which are not said and reading between the lines of the poem.


But without further ado the winner is.........

jajdude: I do not like, the first word out of my mouth after reading your poem was WOW. I though this was brilliantly done. You captured such a profound emotion and said so much in so little. It was both beautiful and very moving and I think in this way it captures the true sprit of minimalism, as well as capturing the soul of the image, and brining one captured moment into vivid life.

[julian94]

5 seasons

Summer we sit together.
Autumn we fit together.
Winter we lie together.
Spring we die together.
Eternal we are together.

[jajdude]

Me? Really? Ok thank you Muse.

For our next bit of nonsense, the topic is

"Food"

good luck all.

After a week or so with no entries I shall be the 'judge' dude.

[moonbird]

Well done jajudge! I'll start it off...


As you glut yourself
with packets of sugar
do not forget
to taste the sweetness.

[Pendragon]

Would have been my choice as well, jajdude!

MENU

Sautéed cerebellum Julianne,
served with a small bowl of diced dreams
and a mixed emotions salad
topped with Cream Of Hope dressing.
Off to the left,
a side order of shish-a-bob of chopped remembrances, flambé.
The wine?
Absinthe of Lethe, please.
And hold the slice of cold reality…

Pendragon

[YesNo]

Complaining to the Waiter

Too many teeth your monster had.
His eyes were far too wide
And as I ate him, piece by piece,
The parts remaining cried.

[tailor STATELY]

Congrats jajdude !

Will enter shortly.

OK just a far-sickle:


Farcical

Sandwich
Sand witch ?
Sand which
Hand me a sandwich !

Sand which ?
Sand witch
The witch's sandwich
Sand in me sandwich !


Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Jaked]

I'm new here - just found this site. Love this thread - have played a game like this via email and really enjoyed it! Hope to be a regular. That introduction out of the way, my first submission. Enjoy! [cue drum roll...]

[indiscretion]

chocolate slivers melt the sting
of her betrayal;
succor grief’s stomach knots;
sate Temperance.


jake

[tailor STATELY]

Welcome to litnet Jaked !

Excellent first posting.

Look forward to more of your writing.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[moonbird]

Welcome Jaked! I expect you'll become a regular here as I now am :)

[Dark Muse]

Salivating
.....with hungry eyes.....
wanting.....
.......just a taste

[Sano]

Hello! I hope I can also participate!

my empty stomach gives way
to my empty heart today
in this summer morning
is she really gone?

[jajdude]

Interesting work you guys. I'm lazy, so no commentary.

Pen, your turn.

[Pendragon]

Caught me off guard there! Thank you.

How about Mother Nature, perhaps in the sense of surviving even after all man has done to trash this world. A few carefully chosen words are better than many. June 15 is the deadline. Good luck.

[jajdude]

The world lives,
so it has and so it will,
despite your phlegm.

[YesNo]

Prayer to Mother Nature

Mother Nature may you see
All the good you'd want from me.

[moonbird]

Rather than dancing in the rain
It rains when she dances.

[tailor STATELY]

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p219/bomrox/PoemBeautifulBright5_23_2011.gif

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[DieterM]

… and somewhere under the concrete
and cement and asphalt and steel and glass,
under the weary pavements and jaded streets,
the wasted buildings, the throttled cars and trucks,
she lies in awaiting, uncomplainingly,
she hopes and dreams and sighs in pain…
… and time, time, time her faithful lover…

[Dark Muse]

She Remembers

Sorrow lingers
with deep impenetrable scars,
who still hears?

A voice long forgot
but resiliency trembles,
she is the one who
will not forget.

Pained love
becomes shadowed
in anger.

Her waking wrath
soon, poor ungrateful
dears.

She will swallow
back into the womb
and life begin anew.

[Pendragon]

As there seems to be no more entries, the judging starts:

jajdude To tell you the absolute truth, I have no idea where you are going with this poem. And please remember that this is only one man's opinion.

YesNo Nice little couplet!

tailor STATELY I kinda liked this. Interesting choice of font!

Dark Muse As usual, you poem just echoes with vibrant color and sound!

But we can have one winner only ahd that is:

DieterM Your poem really made a statement and was exactly what I was looking for! Congrads! You deserve them! And you're up next!

[moonbird]

Congrats DieterM, I enjoyed your poem as well!

[tailor STATELY]

Congratulations DieterM !

Yes, an excellent and most poignant poem.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Pendragon]

Congrats DieterM, I enjoyed your poem as well!
Sorry, moonbird, chalk it up to my illness and recent hospital stay. You had a rather nice couplet there! Again I am sorry for skipping you.

[moonbird]

Sorry, moonbird, chalk it up to my illness and recent hospital stay. You had a rather nice couplet there! Again I am sorry for skipping you.

No problem, Pendragon. :)

[jajdude]

Good one Dieter, was quite a bunch of words. Pen, I also had no idea what I wrote. Booze. Hope you are well. We love you.

[DieterM]

Wow, thanks a lot guys, that really makes my day! I'm not sure it's deserved as all the other poems, each in its own personal way, were great. But it's a subjective decision anyway, and I mesure the responsability as it's mine now. First thing: what shall we write about next? That's a hard one... **still pondering**

Okay, for lack of space in my flat (and because I was too lazy to clean them yet again, I confess), I've been recently throwing away all my childhood cuddy toys.

So let's use this simple topic as our leitmotiv: 'Toys'.

Deadline is July 15th (incidentally the day after my birthday so I'll take your submissions as this year's birthday gift ;-))

To your quills, my friends!

[Pendragon]

It seems today
we have so many toys
but I have a picture
of a little girl with a corn shuck doll
The look in her eyes is rapture...

Pendragon

[jajdude]

The teddy bear without eyes
sits soiled in the corner
next to some broken Lego Blocks
and a few half-melted plastic soldiers

[YesNo]

Nothing Happened

Jane's boy toy from last weekend's gone.
Her husband asks about something.
"Nothing happened." Life will bring
The varied flowers from the spring
Along to feel the winter's frost.
They end like toys once played upon
With memories that linger on
Reminding them of what they lost.

[tailor STATELY]

Little Lost Teddy


O Father dear
I've lost my teddy
O what am I to do ?

O sleepy one
Ere the sun went down
You left him on the swing

O Father dear
By starlight's grace
I could not espy him there

O dearest child
Perhaps he's gone, and
Run off with the moon to play

O Father dear
Will he return
When the sun should rise ?

O precious one
His will be done
For this we too shall pray

:tailor STATELY

Inspiration for this poem came from a talk at church given by a visiting High Councilman last Sunday (except his child asked him to join her in prayer); and a banner in Placerville, CA up for auction by Cathie Urquhart titled "Bearly Summer" with a teddy bear sitting in a swing in a sunny country backyard.

[DieterM]

Half of the time is up already, 4 excellent poems foreshadow heavy migraines when the day of decision will be there for me… Let's say no more; I just wanted to cheer you on. 15 days left to submit your entry. The subject still being Toys.

[moonbird]

Plastic smile
shining white
under vacant eyes

Elegant feet
perfectly arched
to fit her shoes

Frozen in time
like a statue
in her cold beauty

The sun shines
on her face
but she cannot feel it

She is smiling
but somehow I doubt
she is happy

[breathtest]

The toy is him, because it is
his shape and his size, and it fits
her as he fits her,

and she feels him when he is not there.

[DieterM]

Thanks everyone for participating; decision time has come. I didn’t anticipate so many different poems dealing with the subject at hand yet, when reading your entries, with each new one, I told myself ‘Yes, exactly! Ah, and yes, there, too, another new way to speak of toys!’ Needless to say, thus, that I’m really happy to find all of you would qualify to be the winner (I never doubted that).

Now, my sincere excuses; as eager as I am to read your poems, I’m very very bad at analyzing them. I’m maybe just too enclosed in my subjectivity. I will try however to point out the things that touched me with each entry.

Pendragon, I loved the image you created in my mind of that little girl (I somehow see her black-skinned, serious look in her eyes, hair standing up in neat little peaks, perhaps because I see so many of them in this part of Paris) without ever describing her physically.

Jajdude, all the same, your poem makes images arise in my mind more with the things you don’t say than with what you say. You masterfully hint at something awful having – maybe –happened (war? earthquake?) that could be nothing at all, too (just some toys being left behind because people moved out or grew too old to play with the toys).

Yes No, I hadn’t thought of the idea of a boy toy bringing back some meaning to a frustrated wife’s life (and her husband’s as well, or at least, that’s how I read your lines) and find your poem very fitting as it turns the whole subject to something completely different (yet, it IS the same subject after all). Couldn’t prevent from singing ‘The Way We Were’ all along to your poem (“…can it be that life was all so simply then, or has memory re-written every line?…”)

Tailor Stately, I see that teddy bear sitting on the swing, and I hear the little child’s prayer. The structure reminded me of that great Goethe poem ‘Der Erlkönig’ where a father and his feverish son have a poetic dialogue until the little one dies at the end. I particularly liked the idea of the being having ‘run off with the moon to play’.

Moonbird, I simply loved that simple comparison of the doll as seen by the child (again, something you don’t say but imply) and the way we adults would see her, with all the questioning we add. Can a doll be happy? For a child, a non-question (of course she is ‘cause she’s my baby); for us, perhaps the essential (Ive-ish unanswered) one.

Breathtest, I’m not sure I’ve understood what you wanted to say; I had to re-read your poem over and over again. Yet, I don’t have to understand poems (or music) with my mind; if there is something that touches my heart. And ‘he fits her’ is such a strong, magic image (for good ol’ romantic me)… a great poem.

But there can only be one winner. And the decision is not easy. It took me a day too much (remember, I promised to be ready on July 15th). Congratulations, YesNo, the (virtual( prize is yours this time. And congrats & thanks to all of you for that wonderful birthday gift of your precious lines…

[blithe spirit]

Congratulations YesNo...I liked the metaphor you tucked in the middle and the creative use of "toy". "Bridges of Madison County" came to mind.

[YesNo]

Thanks, DieterM! And thanks, blythe spirit!

The next topic is beach. I haven't been to one recently, but with Lake Michigan nearby, I have no real excuse.

Deadline: August 6th, three weeks from now.

[jajdude]

A crowd gathers in the sun
The sun darkens everyone
And everyone's gone when darkness comes

[Delta40]

She pursed her salty lips
as the ferry docked at the terminal.
It's titanic ramp clanged open
while her wrought iron hopes sunk.

[YesNo]

Thanks, jajdude and Delta40! Nice contributions!

[Dark Muse]

A Moment Caught in Gold

Liquid sky stretched
beyond the world's edge,
warm water-worn
grains of gold beneath
bare toes leaving
fading impressions
like the memory
of the sun before
it sinks below,
and moonlight
floats across
the mirrored
surface.

[moonbird]

i never was so happy
as when there was
sand between my toes
and ice cream on my tongue

[YesNo]

Thanks for the contributions to the contest, Dark Muse and moonbird!

[Pendragon]

I look at a tiny shell
and wonder how long it took
and how far it traveled
to this place where I find it

[YesNo]

Thanks, Pendragon!

[tailor STATELY]

At the Beach #2


When at the beach
My joy is best described
as that of a year old
Labrador pup
free from restraint
When at the beach

7/30/2011

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[YesNo]

Thanks, tailor STATELY!

[YesNo]

Thanks, everyone, for the submissions! They were all a pleasure to read.

jajdude: I liked the idea of the sun darkening the bathers who leave when darkness comes, I assume, both to their skin and the sky.

Delta40: There is a strangeness about your piece that I liked, especially the "wrought iron hopes".

Dark Muse: The idea of the beach sand resembling grains of gold as the sun set was nice.

moonbird: I also have happy memories of the beach and ice-cream and your poem helped recall them.

Pendragon: Your thoughts about shells made me realized I've wondered something similar about fossilized shells I've found at some stony shores.

tailor STATELY: Dogs do seem to enjoy the beach. Perhaps it is just the large area they can run in.

It was difficult to pick a winner from this selection, but the winner is Delta40! The unusual idea of sinking hope made your poem stand out.

Congratulations!

[Pendragon]

Congratulations! Delta40

[Delta40]

Wow! This is the first time I've won anything! Thanks so much! (are 3 exclamations a little over the top for this occasion?)

(Days later) Sorry guys I didn't realise I get to pick the next topic so here it is!

Building

[breathtest]

The nightmare's terrible vision broke,
and in the dream a building,
and in the nighttime it towers
like a false God, this house
of God.

[YesNo]

Building

I built a castle in the sand.
The waves pushed it away.
The castles built up in my mind
Won't leave. They tend to stay.

[jajdude]

Time builds us,
binds us, minds us, blinds us,
and we build time
until time unbinds us, reminds us, unblinds us
and unbuilds us.

[Pendragon]

Just a couple of bricks
A few two by fours
Everyone has to start somewhere
Add some drywall
Tin for the roof
Now we're getting there
Be sure to add love
And a lot of your time
Building your dream...

[tailor STATELY]

Haunted by Hydrangeas


Am I the tardy guest
this Midsummer Eve
Silver with the breeze
Or melancholy:
Two dancers, divinely fair
building castles in the aire !

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Pendragon]

Where is Delta? We need a judge, here! :willy_nilly::willy_nilly::willy_nilly:

[moonbird]

Maybe the winner of the last contest should judge?

[YesNo]

Let's give her a couple more days. Otherwise I could judge it as moonbird suggests.

[Delta40]

Sorry guys. I'm here and I will read them after my poached egg on toast!

[Delta40]

Breathtest - I like the linking lines in this poem and particularly the end, This house of God.

YesNo - Nice metaphor and I wondered about the difference between castles in the sand and castles in the air!

Jajdude - Nice play on words projecting life as a full circle.

Pendragon - What an optimistic poem and so true!

Tailor - There is something magical about Midsummer Eve, silver with the breeze and melancholy. Are your castles in the aire similar to castles in the sand?

I give a poor critique but enjoyed them all immensely. Each of them cover a gamut of emotions and strong images and makes me appreciate the diversity of Lit-Net poets so much.

The winner of this minimalist contest on a bright spring morning in Australia is (drum roll) Pendragon! I found the wisdom of the piece to be inspiring.

Congratulations to you all though and thank you for giving me this opportunity.

[tailor STATELY]

Congratulations Pendragon ! And wonderful poems all !!


Tailor - There is something magical about Midsummer Eve, silver with the breeze and melancholy. Are your castles in the aire similar to castles in the sand?
- from http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/build+castles+in+the+air : Fig. to daydream; to make plans that can never come true... (example) "I really like to sit on the porch in the evening, just building castles in the air." So perhaps similar to castles in the sand - just as ephemeral.

The inspiration for my piece came about when trying to help a fellow litnetter to find a 19th century painting. I didn't succeed in my quest but there are (8), if I recall correctly, names of paintings from that search in the poem and its title; paintings I found astounding and personal (I'll leave it at that) that drove the poem's creation.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Pendragon]

Wow. Thanks Delta. I'm gonna be busy, I see. So many contests to judge at once...

Topic for the next round: Sunset. Hope to have a huge turnout! :arf:

[moonbird]

I rouged the sky
with flashing horse tails
and fading petals
of dying dandelions.

[YesNo]

Sunset

The sun is setting as my breath
Is flowing toward some future death,
But now there's time to watch the sun
Who warms me till my breath is done.

[Dark Muse]

Sky on Fire

It is a beautiful
death of violent
color that alights
the sky on fire
just moments
before sweet darkness
swallows the sun
whole.

[MystyrMystyry]

Red Gold of Velvet
Flames subside to
Unleash the Sparkling
Ultramarine toward
Midnight

[Pendragon]

The contest will be judged September 30th. If you haven't entered, there is still time. You must enter to win! :drool5:

[Delta40]

I watched you flounder
like a turbulent sunset.
Dragonflies cradled the lake
with tempestuous drone
as if nature was beholden
to your flotsam hasta la vista.

[Delta40]

I take it you're busy Pendragon. C'mon - soak in your victory on this thread too!

[krymsonkyng]

pavement slick with the evening storm
reflects
fire stained clouds and the coming black

[Pendragon]

Nine more days to enter the contest. Any other poets out there? :smash::smash::smash:

[Pendragon]

Everybody had such great poems that to comment individually on them would require me to simply repost everybody's poem, they were all that good! Excellence in turn-out for the contest, and magnificent excellence in poetry! You all take a bow! Encore, all! Encore!

After a good hour or so of debating with myself, I declare MystyrMystyry to be the winner! :hurray::hurray::hurray:

Let's remind everyone of that award-winning poem:


Red Gold of Velvet
Flames subside to
Unleash the Sparkling
Ultramarine toward
Midnight

You're up, MystyrMystyry!

[MystyrMystyry]

Thankyou Pen, I'll keep it flowing with the last word:

Midnight

[Silas Thorne]

Midnight

Before morning, night passed away.

[Pendragon]

Midnight
The Witching Hour
Time of Evil Rampant
The Bell Tolls One
It's Over

[Dark Muse]

The Spirit Hour

Embrace me
in your seductive silence,
lost within the ivory Goddess,
my dreams stolen among
the spirit lights.

[jajdude]

Midnight came and said goodbye,
sadly, you were next to die.

[YesNo]

Midnight Insomnia

It's midnight and I'm still awake.
Impatience drives without a brake.

[FozzieFunk]

At the peak of the silly moons high
I reserve the right to find
my mind, melting of midnight

[Jakeb]

[Midnight]

Alive by sight now deprived
I hear breath,
smell sweat,
taste salt,
and am cold.

[krymsonkyng]

This year fall-back's different:
Chronos promised us the missing hour
off the record
so monsters may make prey
of the snoring.

[RaoulDuke]

Rapidly wrap your little old chap
In tipsy trysts with Midnight Mary,
Or hear the rap of the no-hand clap;
Oh, Wiley Will thou must be wary!

[MystyrMystyry]

Only two weeks to go!

[breathtest]

It is always near to midnight
that the orphan elephants
sneak from the compound
to rejoin the wild herd.

[ShadowsCool]

Midnight unleashed
The awakening sound of bells
Mistakenly set for a.m.
Believing it was noon.

[MystyrMystyry]

This is going to be difficult.

One day to go everyone!

[MystyrMystyry]

There were some astounding ones there, and you should all continue with your own excellent standards. It wasn't easy to decide, but ultimately I narrowed and narrowed until I think The Spirit Hour was a close first:

Embrace me
in your seductive silence,
lost within the ivory Goddess,
my dreams stolen among
the spirit lights

Over to you Dark Muse

[Pendragon]

Congrads, Dark Muse! :wink5::wink5::wink5:

[Dark Muse]

Thank you, I will have a new subject shortly.

[Dark Muse]

Ok your next subject is Harvest

Deadline Nov. 25

[moonbird]

The year is ripe
As sweet golden corn
And the fat rich moon
Stares down
Like an eye

The apples are plump
With crisp sweet juice
And piercing their skin
It flows
The music

The starlight is pure
Gleams like polished glass
As the leaves shimmer down
And gently
Rest

[Pendragon]

The harvest moon shines
Illuminating the golden wheat
Where are the combines?
Many people need to eat...

[YesNo]

Harvest

Picked from the tree or from the ground,
The apple is a treat.
Some plants bring gifts without a sound.
They know we need to eat.

[blank|verse]

Harvest (1972, Reprise Records)

By his own admission, his musical direction
was one he needed to switch:
I was travelling down the middle of the road,
so I headed for the ditch.

[MystyrMystyry]

Death's scythe reaps the harvest of souls
Be warned those unready with unfinished goals
Do what thou must while the sun still shines
And be prepared when it's you He finds

[DieterM]

Dried flower crown above a bright mouth,
and a combine harvester rumbles by,
and blonde hair flies in the wind,
and a swing screeches under the big chestnut tree

[cacian]

HarVest

horizon light crosses the fields
amassing lune shadowing winds
rise up the crops amongst the slopes
vibrant in seeds spellbound and freed
elements fours wage up and tilt
the sound and light earthen and heat
trespasses Not !for nature's here

[Dark Muse]

Thank you all who entered. This was a tough one and there were some that were really close but here are the results:

Pendragon: I really loved the first couple of lines, and though they captured a beautiful image. And kudos for teaching me a new word. I had to look up what a combine was. I thought in these few lines you created a perfect portrait of life on the farm.

YesNo: I loved the line "Some plants bring gifts without a sound." I also really liked the sentiment behind the last line. It captures the idea of the cycle of nature, and the bounty which the earth gives. It speaks of the old traditions in which it was believed the animals and plants gave themselves as a gift to man knowing his need to eat.

blanklverse: I really liked your creative approach to the subject and how you took it in a very different and original direction.. The first line did grab my attention right away and made me want to read more but because I am not familiar with the record which is being referred to in the poem I feel like I do not quite grasp the full meaning of it.

MystyrMystyry: I loved your take on the subject. You can rarely go wrong with the Grim Reaper for me, he is a favorite of mine. I enjoyed the darker imagery, and the very October/Halloween feeling of your poem.

DieterM: Loved your opening lines and thought you created a nice image with your poem. You created a since of nostalgic with mention of the swing under the tree. But I think that you used one too many and's and the repetition of the word at the start of each line broke up some of the natural flow of the poem.

cacian: I thought your poem had some beautiful imagery and I loved your use of language. There were some wonderful lines here and originality. I really enjoyed the atmosphere which your poem created but I think it would have benefited from the use of some more punctuation. I did find it could be a bit difficult to read.


And the winner goes to.......

moonbird: You created some wonderful imagery and your words had such an elegant flow to them. I also really enjoy the way in which your poem really invokes the sense. Each verse was beautifully written and I particularly loved the compassion of the moon to an eye, and describing the eating of the apples as being like music. T

[Pendragon]

Thanks, DarkMuse, and congratulations to moonbird! :seeya:

[cacian]

Dark Muse thank you for taking time to read our entries.
It is very much appreciated.
and very many congratulations to moonbird:thumbs_up

[blank|verse]

Well done, moonbird.

(But Dieter - you was robbed! Fine effort.)

[MystyrMystyry]

Thankyou Dark Muse :)

Congratulations Moonbird :)

[Dark Muse]

Dark Muse thank you for taking time to read our entries.
It is very much appreciated.
and very many congratulations to moonbird:thumbs_up

You are welcome

[moonbird]

Thank you everyone.

Next subject will be Eyes.

Deadline December 15. Good luck!

[cacian]

In another world
is another place,
In a single blow
a breeze has born
and flown
looking to mellow
trees,
refreshing airs and beams
to paint another
phase,
with hands on heart
and quests
for colours all around,
a vision of a past
reflected in your
Eyes,
looking to move
a day into a future glance

[Pendragon]

Your eyes
Pristine pools
Dreamy depths
Keen knowledge
Window of the Soul
Loaded with Love

[sundarramchand]

Loving an Amazon (Title)

There she was,
The rough tomboy
Could ride the horse
And float with the buoys

This was her fourth
Of many such
Delicate ways as befits a court
And Amazonian (yet maternal and feminine) ways like a butch

A cloth around her neck tied
Like an adventuring fisherwoman dressed
Dagger against her dress pressed
Her opponents like brides cried

Could gut the whale
And cut the wolf rabid
Take care of her followers avid
Yet tame and shear the recalcitrant male

She takes her fifth shot
I am struggling with my second
Her scars the “medals” from battles fought
Mine arise from feelings for her heightened

She treats me by turns
As a fool, a stool pigeon, a clown
And at times an idiot to be controlled by treatment stern
Or more often ridiculed and humiliated for the edification of the town

She hoists me up to be exhibited like in statues
In tarred finery, hugging mannequins
Prompting me to ask : Is My love for her fatuous ?
Am I doomed to be hoisted on pedestals only to be let down by my self indulgent sins

One day, like a painted and (pinned and pained) bird,
I rise on the wings of my feeling seared
I cry out both for myself and the amazon I have loved
Who across the oceans of the world has rowed

Like a swarthy female version of Othello
Myself the male Desdemona to whom she at last consents
To relate the tales of the seas , black to yellow
Through which she has sailed up to times present
The characters whom she has met , rascals and saints
And of every hue in between
Her tales were enough to give a delicate lad like me the faints
Telling of a world beyond what he had ever seen

She wonders and marvels at my innocence
Like a diver , she means to torment and bully me out of my shell
And extract the pearls of good sense
That lies buried in my dell

At last we give way to the feelings of mutual affection and love
A mating like that between land and sea
Between the fiery eagle and a gentle dove
Each loving the other, both know “Who is me ?”
The Amazon warrior in star like hues her lover dyed
Who in pain filled ecstasy cried

Zen like In the morning after,
Things are the same fore and after,
The sun still shines, the birds still sing
But the lovers view it as the beginning of eternal spring

[sundarramchand]

Though the above poem is long, it is minimalist and an attempt (after a long time) to write verse in rhyme form

[sundarramchand]

Essentially, this does relate to the theme "eyes" in the sense of attempting to look at the world through the beloved's eyes without losing one's sense of self

[YesNo]

Opened eyes
Drop disguise.

[Dark Muse]

The Eyes of Medusa

Stone cold beauty,
her eternal eyes
project the agony
hidden deep inside.

Alluring,
her deadly gaze
entrapping
unfortunate souls.

With a glance
freezing
those who would
prey upon her.

Yet she is
the one they call
predator.

[krymsonkyng]

Up close and open
jagged colored edges that
surround smiling black.

[DieterM]

You,
two echoes away from me,
peppery-musky, shower fresh,
my senses tingling
under your loving gaze.
Your toothpaste breath coming close,
your lips pressing against mine,
my fingertips locking eyes
with your clean shaven cheek.

[tailor STATELY]

The Spiritual Eye

With one's third eye opened
to beyond all that is at hand
One may heed the Spirit
to bring forth understanding
Surpassing the wisdom of man

:tailor STATELY

[breathtest]

Eye see your
I's, your terrible
formation of
lies.

[moonbird]

1 week til the deadline, still plenty of time to submit!

[Haunted]

irresistible

it never fails
to wake me
every time I see
your bedroom eyes

[moonbird]

Alas, I'm late yet again. But your results are finally here!

cacian: Interesting and unique. I liked the last few lines.

Pendragon: Perfectly minimalist and lovely alliteration.

sundarramchand: A bit lengthy for a minimalist contest, but in other contexts I certainly enjoyed it.

YesNo: It takes true talent to write a full poem in only four words, and you've succeeded.

Dark Muse: Beautiful, unique, and original. Loved the last stanza.

krymsonkyng: Simple and lyrical. I liked "smiling black."

DieterM: I adored your lovely descriptions using the senses, it really made the piece feel real and come alive.

tailor STATELY: An interesting take using the third eye.

breathtest: Your alliteration and use of eyes and I's made it entertaining to read and very unique.

Haunted: Romantic and lyrical.

This was a very close one but I'll have to give the win to................DieterM. You're up!

I'd like to add an honorable mention as well to Dark Muse, who was a close second.

[Dark Muse]

Thank you! And congrats to DieterM

[cacian]

Dark Muse I thank very much for the feedback and congratulations to DieterM.:santasmil

[Pendragon]

Congratulations, DieterM! :seeya:

[DieterM]

Hey, guys, I'm really really flattered - made my day, it did. Thanks to moonbird. And of course I stumbled upon the outcome rather late. I think I'm desperately gagging for holidays... So, what shall we write about next time, huh? How about "smoke"?

Yeah, let's make it smoke then. Up to you, as always, to make something out of it. I'm sure you'll come up with fine & fascinating poetry yet again.

Deadline? Jan. 22nd 2012.

In the meantime, I wish you all a merry merry XMas, a happy new year; have yourself a wonderful time, and see ya next year - that is, inch'allah, if God wants it. :santasmil:ciappa:

[YesNo]

Clearing the Air

Smokey future, smokey past--
The present's clear and it will last.

[Dark Muse]

Toxic Love

Smoke lingers off the edge
of your lips, sensuously
curling in the air.

Drawing me in,
a subtle reminder
of the poison you are
but like any addiction
there is no escape.

I only want a taste
of the nicotine
on your lips,
to inhale your sins,
knowing it will
be the death of me.

[cacian]

it feels so dense
dark is the fence
that stands apart
with doors ajar,

light is the smoke
that lifts the tense
around the clays
wood and terrains,

fenced up
the doors,
open once more
freeing the senses
letting the denses
out of their ways
breath upon fresh!
windows of hope!

[Pendragon]

The smoke forms vague shapes
The Past
The Present
And even ghosts
Of that which is yet to come

Pendragon

[jajdude]

He smoked his cigarettes like commas,
or sometimes like semi-colons;
Vague the meaning was.

[breathtest]

the breathsteam
looked like smoke, and
the harbor like a yawning
God.

[moonbird]

Two lips
Thin and pale
Like crescent moons
Breathed forth words
In a whisper of smoke
And embers burnt her
Throat

[Meta Penguin]

The Man-God and Cigarette Smoke


a god bellowed,
lit cigarettes

inhaled smoke and
exhaled insects

which flew, floated in density,
around an end-entailing god

[Pendragon]

Bumpity-bump?

[DieterM]

Hi all, very good stuff so far... 2012 starts perfectly well, and perfectly well inspired, I can see. Just one day left to post your poem; I remind you the subject is "smoke".
See y'all tomorrow.

[Bar22do]

Smoke’s pinions flutter, fold over
and wilt, as dawn melts the moon.
This is how you disappear, love,
dream ashes silvering your pyre.

[DieterM]

YesNo: A clear and witty aphorism; I guess you can’t get any more minimalist while still expressing something so eternal and eternally true.

Dark Muse: Personally, I had a slight problem with two line breaks (stanza 1 where it would make for a smoother reading if you wrote “Smoke lingers / off the edge of your lips, / sensuously curling in the air.”; and the last two lines “knowing it will be/ the death of me.”). Apart from those minor technicalities, I really, really enjoyed your poem and the metaphor of toxic nicotine/toxic love worked perfectly well for me.

Cacian: You’ll forgive me, but I’m not really sure to have understood everything in your poem. Which is not important as, with modern paintings, only the result (i.e. how we perceive someone else’s offering) counts. And several images (e.g. the light smoke lifting the tense) really did it for me.

Pendragon: Your poem more or less joins YesNo’s aphorism in contents, yet is clearly different in form. I especially liked the use of the ghosts, which normally are used to talk of the past and which you made foretell the future.

Jajdude: One of my favourites, and I can’t say why. Perhaps because I’m a smoker? Or because I somehow wished for something like this when proposing “smoke” as our subject? Dunno, really. But what if you just changed the last line into something more natural (i.e. “The meaning was vague.”)? Just a suggestion...

Breathtest: Short and delicious. Need I say more? I loved it.

Moonbird: There’s something almost mystical in your lines (must be what the image of crescent moons does to me). I really liked the whisper of smoke and the embers in her throat.

Meta Penguin: Rather enigmatic than mystical here. Why did I think of Egypt and the Plagues (was it 7? 8? Gee, I’m getting forgetful…) The beginning worked fine for me, but I got stuck when the insects started floating in density (couldn’t really figure out that one), and the repeating of “god” was a little bit disappointing.

Pendragon (second offering): I am not sure if you a) posted in the wrong thread, b) wanted me to consider “Bumpity-bump?” as a second offering for this round (you sure you didn’t read too much Wolf Larsen lately? Lol) or c) proposed the lines written in bold. As I tend to prefer your first poem in this round, I simply say “nicely done”.

Bar22do: smoke-like, reads like a dream you only vaguely remember once you wake up. Loved the “silvered pyre”...

All I can offer is personal impressions. I apologize: I love to read poems, but I’m awfully clumsy when it comes to analyzing them, or analyzing why I like some of them and have quibbles with others. Plus, it’s a hard job to decide which one to choose. But a decision has to be made, and it's a really close one (only one winner, and several on the second place).

So it’s... Jajdude this time.

Congrats!

[cacian]

Dieter thank you for such a constructive and rich feedback!
and congratulations to Jajdude
:hurray:
well done!!

[Bar22do]

Bravo Jajude! congratulations! from Bar!!!

[Pendragon]

congratulations to Jajdude! :cheers2:

[Dark Muse]

Congrats to Jajdude

[YesNo]

Congratulations, jajdude!

[jajdude]

Oh, I didn't know till I just saw a PM. Thanks. Don't remember writing in this one even. So be it.

Another topic, eh? Let's go with "Drink"

[Pendragon]

Bartalk

Barkeep, pour us another round
I got to somehow keep these demons down
I join the other lost souls at this bar
I wish things weren't exactly how they are...
More tequila, and don't let the glass go dry
Drown my sorrows in a beer and wonder why
They say that misery loves some company
And all the other folks in here are just like me
It's midnight, and the choir starts to sing
Because by now we're beyond feeling pain
We pay our tab and stagger out the door
One lonely night behind me; ahead, a million more...

Pendragon
(C) 2012

[YesNo]

Drink, Drank, Drunk

I took one drink. No doubt, then two.
Too many followed. I was through.

[Dark Muse]

Woman Scorned

A drop of Nightshade
upon ruby lips

"Drink my darling"

A whisper in the dark

I offer the chalice
of eternal youth.

To sleep forever more

"Hush my sweet, you need
only to drink"

Tell death do us part
now may you ever more
rest in peace.

your last embrace

[BookBeauty]

Breakfast of Champions

The ambrosia elixir,
Cornucopia's delight
Noxious nutrition,
To win the fight

Spinach, banana,
Avocado and carrot
Pureed smooth,
Character, and merit.

[cacian]

drink the drink
apple is fizz,
sober up
and see the bizz,
chin chin
it goes inside the glass,
it clamps and shakes against the brim
fortuit is faith
it spills the bling,
fill up some more
and sip it small.

[PMLondonderry]

This wasn't written by me so I don't know that this would be the place to share it, but my favorite minimalist story was when Edgar Allen Poe was dared to write the shortest story. He produced this:

Baby shoes
For sale
never worn.

Is that Poe or what?

[krymsonkyng]

PM Londonderry, It's Hemingway, and this is a contest thread. Write your own minimalist poem having to do with "Drink".

[moonbird]

I must say I was a bit confused upon reading "Poe's" 6-word story.

[moonbird]

Runneth over?

Cruel words of mockery
For my cup
Though once filled with
Sweet crimson wine
Runneth now forever empty.

As thirst scratches
Like a parasite
At my cotton throat
I rasp out words
Unceasingly

For it is only I
Who cares of truth
On this cloud of
Saccharine membranes
Encasing our eyes.

Poureth evermore
The drops of sugary
Dew, though I have seen
My own two hands
Carve the hole which ever

Swallows.

[jajdude]

Ten days or so since latest entry, so it's time for me to be the judge dude. Guess I'll give a few comments.

Pen - A sad poem and a common feeling expressed there, well summed up.

YesNo -This is kind of what I think the spirit of this contest is about, keeping it short yet meaningful in some way. I liked it.

Dark Muse - This one is pretty dark and chilling. I wondered if it was meant to be "Till death"..

BookBeauty - A fine mix of words in there and a nice rhyme. One of the better ones I'd say.

cacian - Not totally sure what yours means, sounds like dealing with a hangover. Interesting little poem. Wondered about "fortuit is faith" -- "fortuitous" ?

moonbird - A strong bit of writing with some great lines. One of the best entries. Not quite sure what it all means but sounds full of regret to me.

Tough call as usual, but I'm going with YesNo for the short and simple piece that had a solid meaning. I liked how it was "minimal" in words, and did the job well for this theme. Congrats.

[YesNo]

Thanks, jajdude!

The next topic for the minimalist contest is Patience.

Deadline: Sunday, March 11th, almost 3 weeks from now.

[cacian]

Thank you jajdude!! and congratulations toYesNo.:smile5:
great topic by the way YesNo will see what we could do!

[jajdude]

Among the virtues few adults possess,
yet strive to impress upon their children,
patience stands tall in a long line of hypocrisy.

[BookBeauty]

Fret not,
Hold your tongue,
Catch your breath,
Count,
Let it go.

[Pendragon]

Poems are born of patience,
For it can seem like forever
Before you find just the right words...

Pendragon
(C) 2012

[cacian]

pertinence's seemingly perked
dressed up in word of patience sense
slow mood, constant, has crafted felt
descent in self is gracious melt
and
abundance of abstaining's meant.

[moonbird]

Her eyes are clocks
Ticking, endless monotony
As time slips away
Like leaves down a river
Waiting for me
Screaming, silent desperation
Hurry
(Oh God, please hurry)
But I can go
No faster
And her clock ticks down.

[PMLondonderry]

PM Londonderry, It's Hemingway, and this is a contest thread. Write your own minimalist poem having to do with "Drink".

I'm sorry. You are right. It was Hemingway, not Poe

[breathtest]

I brink
sit here falling
tense
perching
finding purchase
like a pier
sit there patiently falling
toes in the void

[phoenixtears]

The gazelle grazes the grass
'tis a mouth-watering sight
But the predator stays still
delaying the luscious bite

And when the time is ripe
it makes the killer swipe

[krymsonkyng]

I'm sorry. You are right. It was Hemingway, not Poe

Sorry for what? No reason to be sorry dude. Perhaps I should be sorry for responding in an unnecessarily terse tone. That came from playing in forums at work, and I am sorry if you took any offense whatsoever. On that note...



Watch close
as bread
becomes
fresh -blink-

[YesNo]

Thanks for all the entries!

jajdude: You made a good point about parents expecting their children to be patient when they aren't themselves.

BookBeauty: You provide good advice on how to practice patience.

Pendragon: I agree that it sometimes takes time to find the right words.

cacian: I enjoyed the alliteration throughout and the close rhyme with "self", "felt" and "melt" and idea of "abstaining" associated with patience.

moonbird: The impatience of forced waiting can lead to desperation. It seems like someone is dying, but they are waiting for a relative to arrive before they do so. However, I might have misinterpreted this.

breathtest: This seems like falling in a dream. I like the alliteration on the "p" sound.

phoenixtears: The predator needs patience as well.

krymsonkying: I would think the bread would get stale as one watched, but perhaps it is baking. It reminded me of the saying that a watched pot never boils.

I enjoyed reading them all. Now I have to make a choice on the winner who will be the one to provide the next topic.


And the winner is breathtest!

Congratulations!