tragicomical

[cogs]

cliché’s always on stage...
with punch drunk rhythm,
we spill stale rhyme
and dance a twisted
pain improv to
bored applause,
indulging us dilettantes
attuned to lousy lyrics

[cogs]

like this one... lol

[sangha]

Liked it, fun read. but, i feel like it lacks a rhythm. I understand how that could be construed as the point of the poem, or whatever. But it would add an irony, a transcendence, in the simultaneous recognition and abhorrent affirmation of this truth. So, I would recommend some rhythm, not end rhyme as we're so accustomed to seeing (it would destroy the flavor, I think), but more prevalent consonance/alliteration etc. would work well.

[cogs]

i'm on track with that, sangha... trying to include more rhythmic elements for future poems. i wrote this more in jest, with some anger and pain. now i'm reminded of puppets, dancing about with the forces of all three.

[MorpheusSandman]

I love this piece; probably because it speaks to two of my pet poetic interests - the pervasive feeling of poets and artists of standing in the figure of giants who've already said everything to be said in a manner we can only imitate but never achieve on a completely different level ourselves and the lovely wordplay - aliteration, slant rhymes, assonance etc. It reminds me of my own "Variations on the Theme of Poetics" here (http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?p=798163) that you (if only you) replied to. :)