Between perfection of the mind

[PrinceMyshkin]

Between perfection of the mind
or of the soul, it seems
there is no middle way.

Perfection of the mind
is to read the universe
correctly,

whereas perfection of the soul
is to know itself,
a piece of weightless fluff
amid off-stage noises
of galaxies being born and dying,
super-nova, dwarf stars, ever-expanding
space, and black,
black holes.

[Bar22do]

Between perfection of the mind
or of the soul, it seems
there is no middle way.

Perfection of the mind
is to read the universe
correctly,

whereas perfection of the soul
is to know itself,
a piece of weightless fluff
amid off-stage noises
of galaxies being born and dying,
super-nova, dwarf stars, ever-expanding
space, and black,
black holes.


What is (to me) striking here is that our souls' perfection, much as it appears to be merely a weightless fluff amid cosmic densities and subtleties, makes a difference in the whole all the same (so it feels)... since it is massless, it can fly in the face of black holes, secure...!
Your poem gives birth to much longing for the union between mind and soul, the achievement of which only, as my awareness suggests, allows both to touch upon (dynamic) perfection...
Thank you for sharing your super-nova!

[PrinceMyshkin]

What is (to me) striking here is that our souls' perfection, much as it appears to be merely a weightless fluff amid cosmic densities and subtleties, makes a difference in the whole all the same (so it feels)... since it is massless, it can fly in the face of black holes, secure...!
Your poem gives birth to much longing for the union between mind and soul, the achievement of which only, as my awareness suggests, allows both to touch upon (dynamic) perfection...
Thank you for sharing your super-nova!

Thank you. I was thinking, even before I posted it, that the opening lines were not strictly true, and that "poetic license" does not give one the right to assert falsehoods; i.e, that between the mind and the soul there is a third way, which would be wisdom...

The way my thoughts were running, though, was that the quest for knowledge was to some degree a quest for power, and in that sense dialectically opposed to the nature and objectives of the soul. I conceived of the soul as being utterly free of materialism.

[paperleaves]

Honestly, I didn't care for the first two stanzas, I think the third was a poem independently, especially the part about "a piece of weightless fluff/ amid off-stage noises" which is bold and brilliant! I love it, Jer. This is a perfect representation of your invigorating imagination--it wakes all of us up to new dimensions of thought!

love
Kate

[PrinceMyshkin]

Honestly, I didn't care for the first two stanzas, I think the third was a poem independently, especially the part about "a piece of weightless fluff/ amid off-stage noises" which is bold and brilliant! I love it, Jer. This is a perfect representation of your invigorating imagination--it wakes all of us up to new dimensions of thought!

love
Kate

Thanks. I did struggle against the didactic dryness of those first two verses but I guess I lost the struggle.

[SleepyWitch]

I like the flow of it, including the didactic dryness of the first two verses :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

I like the flow of it, including the didactic dryness of the first two verses :)

Thank you, I so deeply appreciate that you value the more dry 1st 2 verses!

[Virgil]

Between perfection of the mind
or of the soul, it seems
there is no middle way.

Perfection of the mind
is to read the universe
correctly,

whereas perfection of the soul
is to know itself,
a piece of weightless fluff
amid off-stage noises
of galaxies being born and dying,
super-nova, dwarf stars, ever-expanding
space, and black,
black holes.


I'm ironically in the middle way. :D As poetry goes, it's pleasant and the language is interesting. I like the poetry. However I don't exactly find the theme all that profound, and this type of poem requires it. And to be honest, I'm not exactly sure I even understand the last stanza. But that could be me.

[cogs]

our soul is like the universe, expanding, and limitless as a black hole. it'll be interesting learning where the two do meet.

[blank|verse]

I have to say I agree with Virgil. As nice as it is, the lack of any real poetry in the lines forces you to concentrate on the content, which perhaps isn't as profound as it would like to be...

If:


Perfection of the mind
is to read the universe
correctly,

and:


perfection of the soul
is to know itself,
a piece of weightless fluff
amid off-stage noises
of galaxies being born and dying,
super-nova, dwarf stars, ever-expanding
space, and black,
black holes.

I struggle to see how the latter isn't 'reading the universe correctly', therefore, exactly the same as the former.

More poetry, please Prince!

[PrinceMyshkin]

I'm ironically in the middle way. :D As poetry goes, it's pleasant and the language is interesting. I like the poetry. However I don't exactly find the theme all that profound, and this type of poem requires it. And to be honest, I'm not exactly sure I even understand the last stanza. But that could be me.

If I had said between fact and intuition, there is no other way might it have made more sense to you, and to blnk vrz?

[~Sophia~]

On this one, I think I agree with Virgil. Somewhere (in these well structured lines) between the question, the analysis and the throwing up of the hands because no one has the answer ... it became a lecture or a lesson and, the poetry was lost. I think what I'm trying (ineptly) to say is, it was a bit dry - lacking emotion and the POEM left me feeling somewhat ... meh.

[firefangled]

The thought expressed in the ending of this has the potential to carry a gravity of which it speaks. However, we're back to the question of tangible verses nebulous examples of what you mean in what comes before.

Many of your observances expressed in "Snapshots" could serve to exemplify "perfection of the mind or soul..." I believe Blake's "to see the world in a grain of sand" describes reading the universe correctly because he uses concrete things to focus the reader. To paraphrase another example, the universe is stranger than we CAN imagine. How can we be expected to select our focus to "read it correctly" without either a concrete metaphor, simile, or something real we at least imagine we can touch, even if we can't.

The soul seems to get shorted as the second of the two domains presented in the struggle you imply. If it represented no more to me that weightless fluff, I would be drawn toward the mind without a struggle at all. If your intention is to represent the soul as unfounded, it still needs representation to be poetry in this context.

In the final analysis, knowing the universe and knowing the soul are not that different from one another. Knowing is to immerse ourselves in something. So much depends upon what that is.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Between Perfection of the Mind
January, 2010
RIP

Thanks, Cogs, Vergil, Sophia, Blnk vrz, firefangled, Bar22do & Paperleaves.

[blazeofglory]

Between perfection of the mind
or of the soul, it seems
there is no middle way.

Perfection of the mind
is to read the universe
correctly,

whereas perfection of the soul
is to know itself,
a piece of weightless fluff
amid off-stage noises
of galaxies being born and dying,
super-nova, dwarf stars, ever-expanding
space, and black,
black holes.


This is how philosophies are threaded by a string of poetry. Wonderful. We can find a taste of philosophy or you have wonderfully made philosophy palatable through your craftsmanship.

Of course this type of poetry entertains those who are intellectually inclined.

[blank|verse]

Between Perfection of the Mind
January, 2010
RIP

Thanks, Cogs, Vergil, Sophia, Blnk vrz, firefangled, Bar22do & Paperleaves.

Aww - Prince! Now you're guilt-tripping us! I'm sure it'll be for your own good in the long-run; help you grow artistically...

[PrinceMyshkin]

Aww - Prince! Now you're guilt-tripping us! I'm sure it'll be for your own good in the long-run; help you grow artistically...

No! I assure you, there was NO intent to make anyone feel guilty for having posted tactful, sincere critiques of this poem. I do continue to believe in it but wanted - gracefully? - to acknowledge that it had failed to convince or please all but two of the respondents.

[blank|verse]

Well, that's very gracious of you - if only more people had your humility...

You're clearly an intelligent guy and thoughtful writer, so I'm sure people's comments are based on that assumption.

And I, like others, look forward to what you're going to write next...

[PrinceMyshkin]

Well, that's very gracious of you - if only more people had your humility...

You're clearly an intelligent guy and thoughtful writer, so I'm sure people's comments are based on that assumption.

And I, like others, look forward to what you're going to write next...

I've got one on the go that I'm keen about though I suspect that some people might find it a bit dry. Going to let it marinate for a while before I post it

[MorpheusSandman]

The apathy I felt towards your Haiti piece is absolutely reversed here where I am in love with the play between conscious VS unconscious knowing. The last stanza reminds me of the "true mind is no mind" zen saying (which I'm having a discussion on another forum about at the moment). I especially love how in contrast to the balance of the first two stanzas the last branches out; almost as if it's joining the infinite universe it's describing.

Superb piece, Prince. :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

The apathy I felt towards your Haiti piece is absolutely reversed here where I am in love with the play between conscious VS unconscious knowing. The last stanza reminds me of the "true mind is no mind" zen saying (which I'm having a discussion on another forum about at the moment). I especially love how in contrast to the balance of the first two stanzas the last branches out; almost as if it's joining the infinite universe it's describing.

Superb piece, Prince. :)

Need I say... Thanks a very great deal. Perhaps I need not say it but it gives me pleasure to do so: Thanks a very great deal.