Luxe, Calme, Volupté… (Luxury, Calm and Bliss) a broken pantoum…

[Father]

She covers herself in artifice bought
From peddlers of rouge and powders
Covering perfection in search of beauty
That which resides just beneath the surface

From peddlers of rouge and powders
Buying the promises they steal
That which resides just beneath the surface
Where in truth love really begins

Buying the promises they steal
She cannot quit pursuing the beauty
Where in truth love really begins
A sad affair buying something already there

She cannot quit pursuing the beauty
Or others ideal depiction of it
A sad affair buying something already there
When did it get this way?

From peddlers of rouge and powders
Who dismiss the thing that’s lost
That which resides just beneath the surface
She covers herself in artifice bought

[Buh4Bee]

I enjoyed how the structure of the working pantoum make the theme of the poem build upon itself.

An elegant attempt to expose the unnecessary vanity of a woman. As a vain woman myself, I quite like the poem's sentiment.

[Virgil]

I think this is very well done. It gives the feeling of some event underneath that is shaping the surface thought. I think it's these lines:

Where in truth love really begins
A sad affair buying something already there
They seem to gain depth of experience with every repetition. Very nice. :)

[Buh4Bee]

I agree with Virgil. You are saying something more than what is on the surface as is evident.

[MorpheusSandman]

"I have heard of your paintings too, well enough; God
has given you one face, and you make yourselves
another: you jig, you amble, and you lisp, and
nick-name God's creatures, and make your wantonness
your ignorance. Go to, I'll no more on't; it hath
made me mad."


I enjoyed how the structure of the working pantoum make the theme of the poem build upon itself. .+1 to this. This is actually a perfect demonstration of the strength of the form because the repetitions build on one another and enhance and/or develop the theme (ideally) with each usage. I especially love the circular nature of this. It perfectly shifts perspectives from the vanity of the women to the evilness of those that prey on those vanities and even the perception and mass manipulation of what beauty means; the lines themselves seem to be attempting to reveal the truth by burying it in the superficialities of what many of the repetitions suggest or, rather, perhaps there's a natural battle between the truth of beauty and the lies of vanity.

Anyway, it's a superb piece.

[Buh4Bee]

Anyway...