The Feather and the River (sonnet)

[MorpheusSandman]

Release a feather from the fountain top
The river ravages the rocks away
And watch it slowly floating, fall and drop
And restless runs from where it never stays
The valley cradles sleepy infant suns
As unseen fingers move the peopled pawns
And Tolstoy’s Russian men and women run
And leave their homes to chase the straying dawn
I feel the wheel of burning time in turn
Conduct the night of days behind our view
We float on wills – won’t still and never learn -
Towards the doors of death and rebirth new
Just see that river catch the feather in its stream
And carry it where the sons build palaces to dream

[qimissung]

You write the most lyrical sonnets. Angels in heaven are trying to capture this and use it as a handkerchief with which to dry their tears.

[Alexander III]

A beautifully written sonnet, I found its lyrical qualities very enthralling, thank you for sharing !

[Buh4Bee]

I particularly liked how you played with Tolstoy's peasants, free will and fate. Great themes beautifully articulated sonnet. Always a pleasure to read.

[MorpheusSandman]

@quimi: that may be the kindest compliment I've ever recieved for a poem; thanks so much!

@jersea: Yes, free will and fate was what I was tackling in the piece which Tolstoy very much tackled in War and Peace. Thanks for the compliments.

Thanks to Alexander as well. :)

[Dinkleberry2010]

Who says the sonnet form is dead

[hack]

You make this form seem effortless.
I know it is not. My attempts cannot
capture the same easy flow. I've
almost given up on ever writing a
sonnet that I am happy with.
Good job,
Hack

[Bar22do]

Release a feather from the fountain top
The river ravages the rocks away
And watch it slowly floating, fall and drop
And restless runs from where it never stays
The valley cradles sleepy infant suns
As unseen fingers move the peopled pawns
And Tolstoy’s Russian men and women run
And leave their homes to chase the straying dawn
I feel the wheel of burning time in turn
Conduct the night of days behind our view
We float on wills – won’t still and never learn -
Towards the doors of death and rebirth new
Just see that river catch the feather in its stream
And carry it where the sons build palaces to dream

I let myself be inundated by the poetry of your sonnet, in an attempt to reach for its heart's steady beat and perhaps I succeeded, for I felt more force in hope and continuance than in burning time and death... for which I am thankful. I couldn't praise more the excellence of your sonnet, but then too, I have no qualifications whatsoever... suffice to say that:

"As unseen fingers move the peopled pawns"

is so powerful that it (paradoxically) defeats fate.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I dunno, Morph. I felt that this and most contemporary sonnets are like watching a game of hopscotch being played at the edge of any abyss. I kept trying not to look down lest I get dizzy or miss one carefully placed foot.

If I were ever to attempt a sonnet, triolet or other such, I'd try to do it so that the reader only noticed the form after reading the poem as if it were in free verse.

[blank|verse]

Scorn not the Sonnet; Critic, you have frowned,
Mindless of its just honours; - with this Key
Shakespeare unlocked his heart; the melody
Of this small Lute gave ease to Petrach's wound... [Wordsworth]

Although, that said, perhaps Morpheus's isn't quite as good as Shakespeare's (but then, whose is?).

And I think you should attempt a sonnet of your own, Myshkin. I await a piece of Muldoonian free verse magic!

[Dinkleberry2010]

every poet should attempt at least once in their life to write a sonnet

[cogs]

loved the metaphors... never thought of will that way... congratulation on the form! of course you know i thought of forrest gump with the feather, lol

[Buh4Bee]

@quimi: that may be the kindest compliment I've ever recieved for a poem; thanks so much!

@jersea: Yes, free will and fate was what I was tackling in the piece which Tolstoy very much tackled in War and Peace. Thanks for the compliments.

Thanks to Alexander as well. :)

Glad to have caught the reference.

[MorpheusSandman]

Thanks to Jermac, hack, Bar, Prince, blnk vrz, and cogs for reading and replying.

@Jermac: It's honestly my favorite form. I put more time, effort, and thought into my sonnets than almost everything else I write and, honestly, I'm more proud of them than anything else I write; partly because I think they are so challenging but offer so much potential to say so much in developing metaphors, motifs, themes, etc. in 14 lines and with the given structure. With my last two I've really played with using 3 quatrains to develop individual (but related) themes and bringing them together in the final couplet.

@Prince: I can sympathize Prince because, if you remember, I once pointed out how radically different our poetic/aesthetic tastes are so I don't think you owe it to my to appreciates my attempts at a form/style you don't particularly like. I might just suggest giving it a try; maybe you'll gain an appreciation or even a love for the form. :)

@blnk vrz: Hey, gimme a chance: I've only written 8! Shakespeare wrote 154! ;)

@cogs: I'm surprised Forrest Gump didn't come to my mind given how much of a film buff I am! But I don't mind the association.