Son, it is I.

[Amylian]

Hey!

It's been such a long time since I got connected to Online Literature Forum, and now that I once again am here, I posted this poem and your critiques are very much welcomed...

"I felt that I had to write a very short poem similar to those of William Carlos William and Emily Dickinson in order to explore how powerful can words be in short terms and how expressive they might get... "


" Son, it is I"
By
Ali Makki

Look, my son, it is I,
Do you dare not comply?


Regards,
Ali Makki aka Amylian

[tailor STATELY]

Very evocative.

I too love the brevity of words. I liked the way you crafted a mood, a sentiment, that 'je nais c'est quoi' that evokes emotion in the reader at a very basic level in a lyrical fashion.

[Bar22do]

Hey!

It's been such a long time since I got connected to Online Literature Forum, and now that I once again am here, I posted this poem and your critiques are very much welcomed...

"I felt that I had to write a very short poem similar to those of William Carlos William and Emily Dickinson in order to explore how powerful can words be in short terms and how expressive they might get... "


" Son, it is I"
By
Ali Makki

Look, my son, it is I,
Do you dare not comply?


Regards,
Ali Makki aka Amylian

and they ARE expressive and pregnant with possibilities... a fine poem, thank you...

[Amylian]

Very evocative.

I too love the brevity of words. I liked the way you crafted a mood, a sentiment, that 'je nais c'est quoi' that evokes emotion in the reader at a very basic level in a lyrical fashion.


I thank thee for such words...

Please, can you explain to me what "'je nais c'est quoi'" means? I googled it, but no one seems to give a clear answer about it...


and they ARE expressive and pregnant with possibilities... a fine poem, thank you...

Lots of my friends tried to give an interpretation and they varied from one another, which is good...

You see, trying to imitate WCW is kind of hard since imaginst poets tend to knot their poems to appeal to childern as a "dipiction of a simple scene" written in a simple, beautiful way and at the same time, they have deep meanings that only avid readers would disucss and spot... It seems I failed as my friend commented once, "when I read this poem, lots of ideas formed and I think you have failed trying to imitate WCW as your poem won't appeal to little readers and would form only questions of any sort."

Well, I think he is right since I am so fond of the Romantics and cannot easily not to write as they did...

I will die trying...

Regards,
Ali Makki aka Amylian.

[Bar22do]

Lots of my friends tried to give an interpretation and they varied from one another, which is good...

You see, trying to imitate WCW is kind of hard since imaginst poets tend to knot their poems to appeal to childern as a "dipiction of a simple scene" written in a simple, beautiful way and at the same time, they have deep meanings that only avid readers would disucss and spot... It seems I failed as my friend commented once, "when I read this poem, lots of ideas formed and I think you have failed trying to imitate WCW as your poem won't appeal to little readers and would form only questions of any sort."

Well, I think he is right since I am so fond of the Romantics and cannot easily not to write as they did...

I will die trying...



Regards,
Ali Makki aka Amylian.

Well I am sorry to disagree with your friend, for little readers' imagination builds magic worlds out of nothing or of very little... often a hint is enough; and are not questions real keys to knowledge? We will all die trying - and "je ne sais quoi" (please notice the right spelling here) means literally "I do not what", but it is an idiom (French) to say "something elusive, indiscernible" - happy come back here and well, Romantics had other muscles, I suppose!

[MorpheusSandman]

A very potent example of how to say (or suggest) so much with so little. Two divine lines, indeed.

[Amylian]

Well I am sorry to disagree with your friend, for little readers' imagination builds magic worlds out of nothing or of very little... often a hint is enough; and are not questions real keys to knowledge? We will all die trying - and "je ne sais quoi" (please notice the right spelling here) means literally "I do not what", but it is an idiom (French) to say "something elusive, indiscernible" - happy come back here and well, Romantics had other muscles, I suppose!

Indeed! Questions are the portal to the vast world of knoweldge. Also, thanks for pointing out the meaning. I think we have a phrase similar to this in Arabic. "Ana a'ataqid(I think) fee(there is) shay(something) bas ma (but I) A'ref shenho'" (don't know what) Of course, this is a vernacular language, and not the formal one...

Yes, man, Romantics do have muscles and lots of them...! lol


A very potent example of how to say (or suggest) so much with so little. Two divine lines, indeed.

Arigatou Gozaimasu...

This is what strikes me when I write poetry and that is, few words and deep meanings that can even create a whole book out of two lines...

Isn't that magical?!!

Regards,
Ali Makki aka Amylian

[tailor STATELY]

"je ne sais quoi" (please notice the right spelling here) means literally "I do not what", but it is an idiom (French) to say "something elusive, indiscernible"

Thanks for the heads up re: spelling. 3-years French classes, and 3-years German classes, and I butcher 3-languages equally well, lol.

I looked up 'je nais c'est quoi" and it almost means 'I am born so what?' - a sentiment I must have thought at birth. ¿ Perhaps it fits my critique after all ?

[Amylian]

Thanks for the heads up re: spelling. 3-years French classes, and 3-years German classes, and I butcher 3-languages equally well, lol.

I looked up 'je nais c'est quoi" and it almost means 'I am born so what?' - a sentiment I must have thought at birth. ¿ Perhaps it fits my critique after all ?

No one can say it does not...

Regards,
Ali Makki aka Amylian